What a wonderful and generally perfect day God! Slept in, great hike, time on the mountain with you, great church service, dinner with good friends, and now, quiet time with you. I REALLY NEEDED THIS DAY!!
Sometimes I look at myself and wonder why you put up with me. It seems like I just continue to struggle with the same stuff year after year. It is boring! When will I find and maintain balance in my life? When will I remember that when I try to do stuff on my own power I fail and when I lean on you I succeed? When will I remember that if I don't keep the Sabbath holy, I get all out whack?!
I get so frustrated with myself. I know all of these things. You have taught me well. And yet, I continue to forget them over and over. I am just kind of sick of me tonight.
How about I shut up and listen. That usually works a lot better.
What God Said Tonight:
If you treated others the way you are treating yourself tonight, you would not have anyone who loves you. You would scare them all away. When did you decide it was ok to treat yourself worse than you would treat a stranger?
I am your Father and I will correct you as needed. You do not have to heap guilt on yourself. I will show you new ways of coping with life, as long as you are willing. I will help you change and grow and move into the future I have for you.
To think that you have not grown is simply untrue. You have evidence to show your growth if you will look at it. Time to come out of feeling sorry for yourself and remember who you are and what your purpose is. It is time to treat yourself with at least as much grace and mercy as you show others. It is time to remember that I love you and I don't take kindly to people who talk badly about my kids. Even when they are talking badly about themselves.
Your life is a process, not a a destination. You will always be growing and changing. You will always be learning. The fact that you could so easily recall and state some of the major lessons you have learned over the last several years is a really good thing.
Now, rest in my love for you. End this day with the joy and peace that we shared. Start tomorrow with a new sense of purpose and be ready to see great things happen.
I love you now and forever.