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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010


My prayer:
Great small group as always God. I love the women you have brought to the group. They are each so beautiful and so earnest in their desire to get closer to you. I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

I have spent a lot of time struggling over this idol question and the committment you are asking for. I know that the main thing that is in the way right now is not something that I can move or control on my own. If I could of I would have (as Bishop use to say). But, you have said that you can help me. You have said that you can help me stay focused, not get distracted and not get stale, forgetting the miracle you are in my life.

God, when I first made the decision to accept you as my Lord and savior and live for you, I didn't know how to do that either. I didn't know how to live for you. I didn't know how or even if I wanted to live a "Christian" life. But I knew I loved you and I didn't want to live another day without you in it. So, tonight I step out with that same kind of faith, not knowing how I will do it but trusting you to help me.

God I commit tonight that I will never try to leave you, I will never turn my back on you and I will not grow stale and forget the miracle you are in my life. God help me to never try to leave you, to never turn my back on you. Help me to not grow stale or forget the miracle that you are in my life. Help me to not get distracted and stay focused on you, your people and my love for you. I make this commitment to you tonight and ask for your help in keeping it.

Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for what this covenant will mean. Thank for this next step. I love you. Three simple words but I mean them with my whole heart.

What God said tonight:
Thank you. You will not regret this decision. You will not regret choosing me. You will not regret trusting me to help you. You will not regret this.

What comes next? A peace to know that you are right where you are meant to be. A peace to know that my will is at work in your life. A peace to know that you have made a choice that will drive the remainder of your life, your everlasting life.

This step is essential but now that it has been made, you will be amazed how easy it is to keep the commitment. Your life is blessed because of your relationship with me. Your time is multiplied because of your dependence on me. Your needs are met because I am your daddy and I won't ever let you down. You and me forever girl!

I am so excited tonight!! Not only because of the decision you made but because of what I know this will mean for your life, for the lives of the people around you for the lives of the people reading this blog and for the Kingdom of God!!! If you could only see what I see, you would be dancing, seriously dancing like we are!!!!

I love you and I covet your attention. Be blessed and rest in peace. Your future is assured.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Commitment part 2...

My Prayer:
My God, this is the best part of my day so far, spending time with you. How do I tell you what you mean to me? I don't have the words. I don't think the words exist. I am glad you know my heart because my ability to express how much you mean to me is so lacking.

Sometimes I get it messed up. I get wrapped up in my own stuff, or someone else's stuff, or someone, or something and I lose my focus. We have a question from last week's small group Bible study and Pastor Joe talked about it on Sunday. What are my idols? What are those things that get in between me and you? What are those things I think about when my mind is idle. Why do I allow any idols in my life. Why do I allow anything to get between you and me? I don't have answers, but I know I do allow it. Then I end up feeling lost, alone and I get confused.

The good news is you always bring me back. You always find a way to get my attention again. I was ready to start tonight's prayer blog with the commitment you asked for last night, but maybe, until I can truly let go of anything that gets between you and me, I am not ready? God, I do not doubt that you will be in my life forever. I don't doubt that you will never leave me. But will I never try to leave you? The part that really got me was when you talked about never forgetting the miracle you are in my life. I want that to be true but I know that I haven't been able to accomplish that so far in my life. You know I can get complacent. You know that I sometimes forget the amazing privilege of being your daughter. Eventually, something happens, or someone says something, and I realize that I have allowed myself to get distracted again. That's when I turn back and do all I know to seek you again. So, I know that I can commit to that. I can commit to always coming back. I want to commit to never turning away...but I don't know if I can. Can I commit to something I have never been able to accomplish in the past?

God I need your help.

What God said tonight:
Sweet daughter of mine. Thank you for your honesty and thank you for truly thinking about the commitment.

It is true that you have never been able to do this before. If you were able to do it before, I wouldn't need you to commit to it now. It would already be in place. When you make a commitment for the first time, it is always a new thing.

I am glad that you asked for my help. I can help you keep the commitment if you want me to. I can help you have the strength and the focus to not get distracted. I can do all of it if you want me to. I want a true covenant with you. It is a binding contract. With it there is safety, protection and privilege. To be in covenant takes commitment from both of us.

Commitment is hard for you. There have not been a lot of positive constants in your life so far. But remember my promises. Remember your commitment to your mom and others in your life now that you are healed from the past pain. You can do this. It won't be as hard as you think. Leave your doubt and insecurity behind. It does not serve you well. It is hindering your progress. Lean on my strength.

Please don't ever be alone again. Don't try to it on your own. It doesn't work.

Keep seeking for your answer. When you decide, I will be here. Your love is so beautiful and is only barely a dim reflection of my love for you.

Monday, June 28, 2010


My Prayer:
Father God, I am beat tonight. Almost no sleep last night, long day but I get to end it here with you so all is good. Thanks for getting me through this one.

God, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Who am I to expect you to talk to me every night? Who am I to think that I can translate your voice to all of the amazing people you are bringing to this blog?

I am really glad that you can use anyone. I am really thankful that it doesn't take someone who is perfect to serve you and to hear from you. I am so grateful for Jesus sacrifice that allows me to come directly to you, speak to you and hear from you. I can't imagine being born in a time where I didn't have that direct access to you but had to go through the priest. Thank you for letting me be born in a time when I get to know you personally. Not because I am anybody but because of what you did for me.

I cannot imagine life without your amazing presence. I wouldn't have a reason to get out of bed. God, continue to teach us how to seek you, find you and hear you. Continue to teach us how to know you. I love you!

What God said tonight:
Today I know was rough for you but you did not lose hope and that is good.

I want you to know that this is real. This is exactly what I have for you at this time. This is exactly what I had hoped for you. There are a lot of things you don't understand right now. You will someday.

Your trust in me needs to continue each day. It needs to be new and fresh each day just as my love and my mercy are new each day for you. This relationship, our relationship will never get stale as long as we continue to start each day with a newness and freshness. This relationship will remain alive, active and powerful as long as we both continue to pour into it every day.

I have already promised you I will never leave you nor forsake. I have promised you I will be with you always. I have promised you that I will guide you always. Have you, can you make the same commitment to me? Can you promise me you will never leave me, never turn your back on me, never get stale and forget the miracle that I am in your life? Please don't answer glibly. Please take your time.

That is the commitment I need from you to move into the next season. I need you to know that you will never leave me. I need you to know that you will never turn your back on me. I need you to know that your commitment to me is as strong as my commitment to you. Through any battle, through any trouble, you and me forever.

Please, take time to think this through and when you are ready to make that commitment, let me know. I love you first and always.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Stepping out...

My prayer:
What an amazing church service today God. Pastor Joe really had fresh word on worship today. Thank you for giving it to him. Thank you for giving him the ability to deliver it. Thank you for the technology to share it around the world! Who knew, beside you, that the internet would become one of the most amazing evangelistic tools to spread your word to more people in less time in the history of all time?!!

Lot's of things on my mind tonight God. We really have been talking all day today to each other. Thanks for the time at the river today. What a great new spot you showed me! No one there and I could sing (or yell) at the top of my lungs and it was covered by the sound of the rapids. I love those secret places that you show me. I plan to meet you there often.

Well, since I can't seem to focus my thoughts tonight God, how about we just let you talk and say whatever is on your mind? I love you God!

What God said tonight:
This is a time of new beginnings and stepping out. I told you recently that I needed you to step out and step up. The time to step out is here. You will recognize the opportunity when it comes. Do not be afraid of it. I have arranged it all and have arranged the timing of it as well.

Your trust in me will be really important over the next several weeks and months. You will need to know that I am working it all for your good. There will be times that it will seem like it is out of control and all about to fall apart. That is a lie. It is all ordained from the beginning of time.

I will continue to give you reassurances along the way. Don't expect anything to be "as usual." Don't expect me to do things like I did yesterday or even today. Be ready to move, to change direction and to follow me at a moment's notice. Trust your instincts. Don't trust your doubts but trust your instincts.

I have prepared you and you are ready for the next phase, the next season. You are ready.

Thank you for your continued faithfulness. It makes it easy to use you in service and makes me very proud of you as my daughter. I love you more than summertime.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The blessing and the cursing...

My Prayer:
Awesome ruler, Mighty God. Thank you for this day. I felt pretty lazy today God. I didn't accomplish what I had planned to but enjoyed being able to relax and spend time with family.

I was just reading in Joshua tonight where you, he and the army of Israel come into the promised land and conquer and kill everyone they run into. Sometimes I fell like that, like I just can't lose. Sometimes I feel like you are so on my side that everything I touch just works. But, other times, it feels like everything I touch falls apart. Everything I try to do just fails.

Usually, I can't tell the difference, what I am doing differently during these two times. I could understand if I was living right and getting blessed or if I was sinning and I was getting cursed. That makes sense. But sometimes, when I know that I am doing things outside of your will, when I know I am sinning, I am still getting blessed. And sometimes, when I am doing everything I know to do to follow your will, it seems like I am cursed and nothing is going right. Not all of the time, but sometimes.

I see similar things in the lives around me and I don't know what to say or how to help. Sometimes, people are really doing all they know to do and their life just seems to be falling apart. I know you have said to just love them, and I do, I am. But, is there anything else. Anything that makes sense out of it all. I like it when things make sense.

I pray God that your magnificent presence be experienced in your church services throughout the world tomorrow. I pray your will be accomplished in each and every service. I pray God for our service at Zyxter. I pray that you show us even more aspects of you. I pray that you show us something new and amazing leaving us in awe. I thank you for surprise annointings and blessings. In Jesus name.

What God said tonight:
Hi my daughter. Your thoughts are somewhat muddled tonight but I think I hear your true question. No, life doesn't always make sense to your rational human brain. If it all made sense, you wouldn't have needed me. If it could all be done by following rules, you would never have needed my son. The law would have been enough.

But sometimes, you need undeserved grace. Sometimes you need blessings when you are messing up the worst to remind you that I am here and I love you. Sometimes you need to miss out on blessings even though you are getting things right to make sure you trust me and not your own obedience. Sometimes I have to hold back those blessings so you remember who the blessings are from. Sometimes I have to hold back the blessings so you strive for even greater levels of intimacy.

So you see, it does all make a certain kind of sense, not a legalistic, law abiding kind of sense, but a love abiding kind of truth. You are tired and should rest for tomorrow but thank you for meeting with me anyway. Your service will be blessed. I am doing a new thing tomorrow that will blow you mind. I love you I love you I love you!

Friday, June 25, 2010


My prayer:
What a fantastic day God! Thank you for great times, great friends and great favor on my life. Thank you for your protection today. The micro-bursts that marched through the city today wreaking havoc were pretty crazy and even though I was all around those areas today, you kept me safe and protected.

I think I sometimes take your protection for granted God. I have lived under your protection for so long now, it kind of gives me a sense of invincibility. Sometimes I wonder if I have an unhealthy assurance of safety. Maybe that's part of why I'm not worried about jumping out of a plane for my birthday. I have always wanted to fly and I just don't feel like I'm in any danger even though I know it can be dangerous. I take it as a given that you will protect me and keep me safe. If I was going to die early from doing something stupid, I never would have made it through my teenage years. Everyone I talk to thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do it, but I am really not afraid. Maybe I should be?

So often at work, people will be talking about this disaster or that disaster. There are definitely enough to pick from these days. They are all worried about what will happen next. Will they be next. They want me to worry with them but I just can't. How can I worry with the Creator of the Universe on my side.

I know that bad things happen to everyone but I also know that I have the assurance that you will always bring me through. You will always take care of me. That probably makes me seem cocky to some people, but if they only understood it was not self assurance at all but assurance in you. I tell them, but do I tell them enough? Do I tell them in a way that they can really understand and know that they can live with the same assurance? I am not sure. I bet I could do better.

Well, anyway, thank you for a great day and for your continued protection on my life. Thank you for teaching me how to trust you for everything. Thank you God for being my safety net.

What God said tonight:
Safety is an interesting concept. It is good that you know that you can trust me to keep you "safe." But safety is not really an absence of harm. It's about being sheltered in the midst of the harm. You know the story about Daniel and the lions. Safety with me is like that. You may have lions ready to eat you, but I will keep them from devouring you. You may have micro-bursts all around you but they won't touch you. You may see the danger but you will be sheltered when you trust me.

Now don't get too crazy though. Don't start looking for danger to see if I will protect you. There is enough danger in the world already, you don't need to look for more. But stay assured of my protection in the midst of danger. Stay confident in my loving protection around you. Others may not always understand but they notice and eventually they want to know why. That becomes the great opening to show them me.

It's time to walk in confidence of my love, confidence of my power, confidence of your purpose. I don't need you to be shy or behind the scenes. I need you to step out and declare what you know to be true. I need you to step up and call out my name. I need you. Sleep in peace. I love you so much.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Open your eyes...

My prayer:
Compassionate God. Mighty father. How are you tonight? Was it a good day for you? Did anyone do anything that pleased you today. Did any of us do anything to make you smile?

Thank you for the "small" opprotunities today to be a blessing. Thank you for letting me be there when the older gentleman needed help with the computerized building directory. Thank you for letting me see and talk with the homeless man who is usually on the corner of Broadway and 8th. He always has the most amazing positive attitude. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks and was worried. He says he is doing good, but he always says he is doing good, and he didn't look good today. God, let me know what more I can do for him. What would be the most help to him?

I am betting there were many more opportunities today that I missed. Forgive me for missing opportunities and help me to see them better tomorrow. Sometimes I see these amazing people who have given their whole lives to you and serving you. They go into the poorest and most dangerous areas and love on the people with a pureness and without fear. I want to be more like that.

I want to be more aware of the needs around me and better able to meet them. Even this last Sunday, it took someone else to point out to me the woman who had been sitting alone with no one talking to her. I didn't even notice her until he pointed her out to me and asked me to get to know her. She was so surprised that someone actually came to talk to her. It made me feel really small that I hadn't noticed her on my own. Help me God to be more aware.

Thank you for today God. I love you!

What God said tonight:
This is a turning point tonight. You have asked the right things. You are beginning to understand the point of all of this. It isn't about you. Much as I love you, it isn't about you. It never was. It is about being the blessing that you want to see in your own life. It is about showing my love and compassion to everyone you run across.

That was the main point of my son's life. Not his death but of his life. He spent time with people that no other self respecting Jew would have spent time with. He spent time with the "despicable" people, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the Samaritans. He spent his time with people that no one else noticed or cared about. It so easy to love the beautiful people. It takes effort to notice the invisible people. And yet, they are often the people in the most need of a kind word, a compliment, a meal or a hug. Keep your eyes open, your ears open and your heart open and I will help you to see those who are unseen. I will help you to show true compassion and meet the true underlying needs in each person.

You will be a blessing to all of those around you but it will take some work on your part. It will take some commitment on our part. I know you are up for it though. You were made for this stuff!!

You know my love for you. You know that I will help you every step of the way. I will never leave you or forsake you and I will guide you always, I promise. Sleep well my daughter.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Time to reflect...

My prayer:
God what an awesome Bible Study group again! You are so amazing. I love watching you work in each of our lives. I love how you have brought us all together, not by accident but with a purpose and a plan. What an amazing experience every week. I remain in awe of you God.

I am also a little stunned by what you are doing with this blog. It is so clear that this is you and not me. Who in their right mind would come visit this site everyday to listen to silly me spout off? Thank you for continuing to meet us here every night. Thank you for the courage to get this going. Thank you for the amazing friends, family and Pastor that have been so supportive of it.

Most of all, thank you for what you are doing in the lives of the people who log on and read what you have to say every night. You are touching their hearts. You are showing them that very real and personal side of you that makes me love you more every day. Thank you for being you and for all that you do God.

What God said tonight:
My precious daughter. It is so good to spend this time together. Part of what I love about this blog that we are are doing is that it has stirred a renewed fire in you to seek me and hear my voice. It has taken our relationship to a new level and I love that. I love that you now are so eager to meet with me every night, not because you have a need but just because you are curious as to what I will say tonight.

Tonight is special. Tonight is a time of reflection and a time of peace. Many things have been happening in the last couple of weeks and I want to take a minute with you to reflect on those things and recognize that they are good. Recognize them for the miracles that they are. I love doing things in your life but if you are not careful, you will take them for granted and stop recognizing them for the miracles that they are.

Don't lose the childlike awe. Don't lose the ability to be surprised. Come to me like a child, in faith and with a trust that is complete and I will fulfill every promise. My awesome power is at work for your good. My all encompassing knowledge is focused on your issue. We can't lose.

I love you, now and forever.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

What God thinks about...

My prayer:
Hi God. I am kind of sick of my own voice tonight. What do you want to talk about? What is on your mind? If you want to talk to someone I'm here.

What God said tonight:
Hi beautiful. You are on my mind. You and your brothers and sisters. You are always on my mind. You are all that I think about. You are all that I care about. Your welfare is my only priority.

That is why I sent my son to die for you. That is why I so desperately want to spend time with you. That is why I wrote a book for you (or really many books) to guide you through life. Everything I do is for you and because I love you. Every thought I have is focused entirely on you. I have no distractions. I only have you and my love for you.

If only you could learn to live that kind of life. A life with no distractions, completely focused on me and people and your love for us. If only you could learn to live like that, you would have everything. If only you could learn to love like I do, you would have more than you can ever dream for. Keep learning to love. Keep learning to focus without distraction on me, people and that love.

You are so precious and your essence, your spirit, your soul is unlike anyone else. Each of you is entirely unique and made for an entirely unique purpose. Celebrate the difference. Celebrate that one of you is a hand, and one a foot. One is an eye and one is nose. One is an ear and one is a back. Celebrate that you, together are the body. Celebrate that working within your differences within your gifts, you can accomplish ANYTHING.

I love you so much. Rest and prepare for tomorrow my love.

Monday, June 21, 2010


My prayer:
Majestic God. Lover of my soul. You are so worthy God. You are so perfect. My ability to understand you is so imperfect, but you are so perfect. You are always there to lead me, guide me, love me. You are always there for me.

God, I feel like I am right on the edge of a big change and I can't wait. I am tired of things as usual. I am tired of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home, going to bed and then doing it all again.

I love the new things you have brought in my life, the new church, the new opportunities, this blog, all of it. I love the newness and the challenge of it all. I know I should be content, but I am not very good at being content. Every opportunity to minister, to help, to serve, to love, to pray and to spread your word is like a drug almost. The more I do the more I want. The more I do, the less satisfying the rest of my life (e.g. work) is.

I know that there are opportunities to be the church, to be your hands and feet in nearly every situation in life. I pray God that you help me to see the opportunities in the mundane. I pray that you help me to see the purpose in those day to day things that seem like drudgery.

Maybe I am just too easily bored. Maybe I am the one that needs to change. God, if that's it, if I need to change, show me what to change and help me to change it. I trust you implicitly. Every thing that you have changed in me over the years has ALWAYS turned out to be for my good. So, if I need to change, let's do it. I love and trust you.

What God said tonight:
Oh sweetheart, you are not content because you have more to do. You are easily bored because I made you that way. I need you to always be looking for the new thing. I need you to always be excited to try the new thing. I need you to be out there in front, unafraid and trusting me.

Your change will come, naturally and without effort. You will not even notice until it is complete. You won't even know it has happened until it is done. You have many more new things in our life. You have many more times of new beginnings and new seasons. Be content in knowing that it is not over, it is not time to quit, we are just beginning this journey.

I love you and will take you into your future. Spend less time worrying about how you will get there and more time enjoying the ride. Rest, live, love and pray. Trust me in this and everything and I will fulfill my promises to you.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day...

My prayer:
Mighty and awesome God. Creator of the universe and Father to all humanity. I honor you tonight in recognition of Father's Day. Thank you for being my father. Thank you for teaching me what that really means through the amazing "fathers" and "big brothers" you put in my life over the last several years.

It was only a few years ago when we were in Israel that the minister asked me, "Who is God to you and who is he not." My answer at that time was that you were teacher, healer and Lord in my life but that you were not father because my only concept of father was pretty twisted. I didn't know about a loving father who wanted to protect and provide for his children. "Father" to me at the time meant abuse, control and anger. Thank you for showing me the real meaning of "father." Thank you for healing my relationship with my biological dad. Thank you for healing the wounds and the holes that were left by a messed up childhood and bringing me to this place where I can rest and trust you as father in my life. You took what was a huge void in my life and within a matter of a few years, turned it into one of the most blessed areas of my life.

Thank you Father. I love you so much! I pray that I never lose the dependency of a daughter on her father with you.

What God said tonight:
It's good. When I created the world and all that was in it, I recognized it as being inherently good. Some things have happened since then. Things that make it hard to always see the good, but see with my eyes and you will see the good that is still there.

Every hurt can be healed, no matter how deep. Every pain can be soothed, no matter how intense. Your pain was a great example of the limitlessness of the healing that is yours. You must never forget. You must always remember that there is no pain, no problem no situation that is too much for me to take care of.

With earthly fathers, kids usually believe that to be true of their dad for a period of time when they are young. Then something almost always happens to show them that it is not true and they become disillusioned. They realize that dad is just a human, just a man and there is disappointment, a let down. But with me, there never needs to be that let down. I will never let you down. I need you to understand that, especially in the days to come. I need you to be always aware of my power in your life. I need you to always remember that you are my number one priority.

I love you daughter. I had a wonderful day. Thank you for spending time with me.

Saturday, June 19, 2010


My Prayer:
Wonderful day God. Thank you for the rest and relaxation!

I have my mind on service tomorrow. I pray God that your will and awesome presence be felt in the millions of church services throughout the world tomorrow. I pray God that your magnificent power be felt by your people. I pray that we learn new strategies to live this life in the way you meant for us to live it.

I pray God that you draw every person that you are seeking after to the service that will speak to them, whether it is in a church, someone's home, on the internet or somewhere else. Make those divine appointments God that you are so good at.

I pray that you anoint all of the awesome men and women of God who will be teaching your word tomorrow. I pray that your words speak through them. I pray God that your pure and true gospel be preached and reach the Kingdom of God for your sake. I pray for the worship teams, the praise teams, the ministry teams and the volunteers who will be serving you and your people tomorrow God. I pray that you give them a peaceful night sleep and the strength to serve you. I pray God as your people give of their time and talents tomorrow that you will return it to them in great blessings. Teach us God what we need to know to be the church throughout the week.

You are so amazing God. You truly are all that I need and all that I want. Thank you for the journey that this week has been. Still trusting in you, in Jesus name I pray.

What God said tonight:
My daughter, you are troubled tonight but you did not bring it up. It is ok. I know your heart. It is good to get it off your chest sometimes though. Do not fear. The pain and hurt you are anticipating will not happen. You are protected and you will not experience the "worst case scenario" in this thing. I have you protected and my plan is being perfected in you. Trust me if you can't trust the situation.

"Church" will be awesome tomorrow. I love when my people get together in my name. I hear their praise and worship and it is so beautiful The angels join in here in heaven and the sound is so beautiful.

Not everyone will be blessed. Some will be offended. Some will be hurt. Some will be discouraged. But some will be loved. Some will receive the blessings I have for them. Some will increase their faith. Some will come to me for the very first time!!! Some will be healed and some will be encouraged. Some will serve and some will be served.

Church service is meant to be a filling station for my people. Go and be filled tomorrow daughter. Your pastor has a great word that I put on his heart. You will have the opportunities to serve, pray and help that you so crave. I love you daughter. Go and be blessed.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Break down the wall...

My Prayer:
Hi God. Not sure what to pray tonight. A long but good day. Thank you for favor with the meeting with the company from India. Thank you for blessing the works of my hands God.

What a privilege life is God. I know I get discouraged sometimes and think this is all a bit too hard, but when I really think about it, what a privilege to live this life, to be your hands and feet, to live out the destiny you have for me. That you trust me enough to serve, to love, to be what you have created me to be, as messed up as I can be, you trust me. Pretty amazing when I think about it.

I was listening to an old message from Bishop Ashe today. The message was about how we aren't meant to live this life alone. We aren't designed that way. You designed us in your image and you are in constant relationship. We are designed to be in relationship, with each other and with you. When life beat me up, I built up the walls thinking that would protect me. But really, that put me in more danger than anything that life ever threw at me. When I had the walls up the highest and was most isolated, that was when I really didn't want to live anymore. That was when I came so close to ending my life.

Thank you for bringing me through that and thank you for the amazing people you have put in my life. I have the best friends in the world. Friends that would truly do anything for me if I only ask. I have such an incredible church community, both here in Colorado and online throughout the world. I have amazing mentors in my life. I have a mom that loves me more than her own life. I have amazing young believers that you trust me to mentor. There is such an amazing richness and fullness in relationships and I almost forgot that. Thank you for reminding me and bringing me out from behind the wall. I am pretty sure I would not still be here if you hadn't done that. Thank you for saving my soul and my life.

What God said tonight:
You are welcome my daughter. You are blessed and it was my full pleasure to provide your salvation. I loved providing the way out. I loved the sacrifice for your freedom. You are saved, sanctified and whole in the blood that I shed for you.

It's not important to find the right words. It is not important to be right. It is important to live life from your heart. It is important to make those connections and maintain, cherish them. I have put the people in your life for a reason. I have put the situations in your life for a reason. Nothing in your life is an accident.

Rest in my arms tonight. Let me cradle you as you sleep and keep you close to my heart. You will sleep and dream of the good things I have for you. Rest in my love that you may stay strong for tomorrow.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The ripple effect...

My Prayer:
Wow God, what a week so far. I'm pooped but excited to see you reaching people. I can't wait to see what you do next. I love it when you do the unexpected in my life. I love your surprises! We have the group from India coming tomorrow and I ask for your favor. I don't know what this opportunity will turn into, but I trust you to work it all to our good.

I want to lift up the many friends in my life that are struggling with sickness, disease and injury tonight God. I thank you for every miraculous healing that I have seen you do, both in my life and in the lives of those around me. I love it when you just show up and take care of it on the spot, like you did with my back on Sunday. That was awesome God! I didn't even pray. I was thinking, "Hmm, my back really hurts." (from so gracefully falling down the stairs on Saturday :) Then I thought, "I should ask for prayer at church today." Then you said, "Do you want prayer or do you want to be healed." I said I wanted to be healed and within 30 seconds, whiz bang, my back was perfect with no pain! I love that stuff God! I want to see more of it.

I want to see you heal like you did in the Acts church. I want to see us receive your healing as easily as we receive the sickness, disease and injury. I want our faith to be as persistent as our fear. I am not there yet. I pray that you help me to get there. I pray that you help me to see the barriers to receiving all that you have for us. I pray that you continue to teach me how to be more completely the woman of God that you want me to be so I can be the blessing you intend me to be.

God you are amazing, perfect and everything I could ever want or need. I love you with a love that I don't fully understand. I need you in a way that is so constant it is simply a part of who I am. Mighty, awesome, incredible creator of the universe. I remain in awe...

What God said tonight:
Don't worry about tomorrow. Don't worry about being good enough. Simply don't worry. We are on track. Your going to see all of what you envision. You are going to see the hundreds, thousands, millions healed. You are going to see me do even greater miracles. You are going to see it all.

I have shown you the lines of people waiting for prayer to be healed. What I haven't yet shown you is the millions of people whose faith is made stronger as a result of seeing those people be healed. What I haven't shown you is the ripple effect of every act of service and obedience in your life. Every time you say yes to me, there is a great ripple effect through the Kingdom of God. The smallest act of obedience can have a truly profound effect on millions of people.

I rejoice in your obedience. I rejoice in your submission and service to the Kingdom and the people. I rejoice in your service to me. But I don't love you any more or any less because you serve me. I don't love you any more or less because of your obedience, your faithfulness. I don't love you any more or less when you don't serve, disobey or lack faithfulness.

I love the heart of who you are. I love the perfected spirit that is in you. We will do great things together, but those great things won't make me love you any more or any less. You do not have to perform for me. Continue to love me and the rest will come. Continue to spend time with me, true quality time and the rest will come. Continue to tell others about me so they can come to know me as well and the rest will come.

I love you my daughter. You are so very precious to me. You're worth more than rubies or gold and you are the apple of my eye. Don't forget that and walk in the confidence of my love every day.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It is time...NOW

My Prayer:
Amazing Bible Study group tonight God! I love how you always show up and tie everything together. The lesson, the examples, the experiences all came together to make another amazing time of getting to know you and each other better. It happens every time we show up expecting.

I am so grateful for you in my life. I truly cannot imagine trying to live this life without you. One of your promises that I hold to so hard is that you will never leave me. Thank you for letting me question, doubt and mess up. Thank you that no matter what, you always bring me back to you. Thank you for not letting me get so far off track that I destroy myself and the people I care about. Thank you for continually bringing the right people, the right messages and the right situations to me that take me to the next level of my relationship with you.

Thank you for what you are doing in the people around me. Thank you for comforting them, guiding them, protecting them and loving them more than I ever could. You are truly awesome and I stand in awe of you.

What God said tonight:
I had an awesome tonight with you all as well. I love when my children get together in my name.

Your purpose is ordained and meaningful. You have so much to do but don't let it overwhelm you. You won't do any of it alone. I have a purpose and a plan for your life and it is SO GOOD! Your wealth is in me. Your joy is in me. Your future is in me. We are going to see and do amazing things together. You are not in this alone.

It is time to move. It is time to go. It is time to do. The season for waiting is over. Move into the future I have planned for you. Move into the purpose I have planned for you. Do not be timid. Now is the time to be bold. You have been prepared for such a time as this and the time is now. Don't hesitate. Do the thing I have been telling you to do. Be the person that I have shown you can be. Love, teach, pray and trust. This next season will blow your socks off!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

God's will...

My prayer:
God, I recently told someone that I did not believe that sickness or tragedy is your will for our lives. I said I don't see anywhere in the Bible that you say it is your desire that we have cancer or that babies die or any of the other horrible things that happen everyday. I told her that those things happen because we live in a world that has been corrupted by sin. Not because it is your will. I told her that you can use all of that stuff to teach us and help us but that you don't bring it. That all sounded good at the time. It is what I have been taught and it is what I believe.

But then in the last couple of days, I've been thinking and reading Revelation. In there, Jesus breaks the seals that bring all sorts of death and destruction. Now, it does say that your people are protected but it really challenges my thoughts on what comes from you and what doesn't. It says in Revelation that no one except Jesus could break the seals. That sounds like you cause those things to happen.

I need to understand this better. There are so many people in my life that are truly suffering right now with sickness, poverty and tragedy. I pray, I believe and sometimes I see you move and do miraculous things. But I need to know what to think, say and do when nothing changes or things get worse. What do I tell those people?

What God said tonight:
Every situation is unique and the same. You don't always have to have the answer. Sometimes the only answer is to love and love some more. There is a purpose and a plan in everything.

Know that my love for you is greater than any love that has ever been. You are my children. I have chosen you above all else. You don't have to do anything for that love except be. I love you enough to die for you.

It is my desire that you live in a constant awareness and experience of that love. That is why I say, love me and love your neighbor. As you love more and more, you will receive more and more love. Love begets love and my love truly conquers all.

Trouble comes to everyone. The ones that come through trouble are the ones who have love. Your job is to love. I will take care of the situations. I won't let the trouble overwhelm them. I have all power and can control the trouble. Trust in my strength. Trust me to do my job and I will trust you to do yours, to love me with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself. Love, be loved and trust me. It really does all work out in the end.

Monday, June 14, 2010

A new thing...

My prayer:
Thank you Lord for bringing me through this day. Thank you for your protection and favor on my life.

God, I am a little freaked out by this new thing you have me doing with the blog. I feel really vulnerable putting all this out there for the world to see. And then I think, who really cares anyway? Will they be able to see that it is about what you have to say and not what puny little me has to say? And yet, I really feel you want me to do this.

Maybe it's because of the growth you want to see in me. Breaking down some more of that old wall I had around me. Maybe it's to reach someone, somewhere that you are going to bring to the blog just at the right time. Or, maybe I'm just nuts and risking letting my heart show for no real reason. But, until I hear differently from you, I will keep it up. I'm nothing if not faithful to my word. So keep speaking God. Let me know what you want to say. I will do my best to do your will. You are magnificent and I am humbled by your presence in my life.

What God said tonight:
It is time to rest in preparation for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a big day in the Kingdom of God. The time is here for a new season to break out. I'm not going to keep doing things in the old ways. A new generation needs to see me, know me and learn to trust me. I need to reach this generation. It is crucial. The time really is short. You don't know.

Keep me at the forefront of your thoughts at all times. Let your thoughts of me be your shield in this world. The battle is on and we win, but it will be bloody. I want you protected. I want you behind my shield. Stay safe in my arms. You will remain with me always and I with you.

One more thing, keep a daily reminder of what I have done in your life. You will need to remember it in the days ahead. Don't forget to write it all down and re-visit it when all seems lost. I will ALWAYS bring you out and I will ALWAYS take care of you. You are my love.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

What I want...

My Prayer:
I keep singing songs in worship about how "You are all that I want, You are all that I need." but God you keep saying, "Really? It seems like you want more." And I do. I want the dream, the vision. I want to see you move in the world healing millions. I want the husband and marriage ordained by you. I don't want anything that you don't want me to have, but I do want all that you have for me. Is that wrong?

I can honestly say that I don't want any of it if I can't have our relationship. I don't want any of it if you aren't in it. That is deep truth. Without you in me, nothing is worth anything. But with you there is a hunger for a greater life, a greater purpose, a greater joy. With your promises, visions, hopes and dreams for my life, that you put in me, there is a yearning to see it all happen. God I ache for the day of millions in a crowd receiving your healing as they worship you. I ache for the day that I look across the dinner table and say, "hi husband", knowing that he is the man you chose for me. I am desperate for the day that we travel the world to show you off and wake up the world to you VERY REAL POWER! If I am not ready, prepare me. If I am wrong about the vision, change it. If I am doing or not doing anything that is blocking it, show me and change me. If I am wrong to want more than you, show me and help me to get my heart right.

What God said tonight:
It is night and it is right for you to come to me with this at this time. You heard me speaking to you as you wrote. By wanting my will and vision in your life, you are wanting me. Your just wanting all of me. I am more than spirit. I am more than Lord. I am all that and all that you desire. That is what the song lyrics really mean. Your desires are my desires and by wanting them so earnestly, you are only saying you want me, all of me, spirit, Lord, will, purpose and Love.

I am everything you need. I am the power behind the healing ministry and I am the way maker to make it happen. I am the love in your marriage and the matchmaker to bring you together. I am the vision and the promise. I AM. From now on, when you sing those words, expand your understanding of who I am and you can mean them with all that you are. Live and love in peace my daughter.