God I am glad this day is done. It was rough. Not really because of anything that happened but I was fighting a bad attitude all day. Problem was the bad attitude was mine!
God, how is that I know what I should do, I know that I shouldn't let bitterness take root in me. I know that unforgiveness only hurts me. I know that all SO WELL! Life has taught me these lessons over and over and yet, here I am, knee deep in it again. I know better God and somehow, I still can't help myself. There was a brief moment about 4am where I got my mind straightened out and remembered what was important, but before I knew it, it was gone and I was back to bitterness.
I hate this God. I hate that I know what to do, but I am not doing it. I ask for your help God. For whatever reason, I can't seem to shake this one. I find so many reasons to support how I am right and he is wrong and then I am right back into the well of bitterness. Help please God. I don't want to live with this hanging over my shoulder. Help me to forgive, let go, and get free of this thing.
What God Said Tonight:
I am calling you to a higher level. I am stretching you. This may seem like the same old battle, but there is a new level to this that needs to be overcome.
You know the steps, pray for him, forgive him, and let it go. How can you expect to be on step two and three when you haven't done step one? It is not a formula but it is a proven strategy in your life. Remember the first principles. Remember what I taught you yesterday, apply it today, and see the results tomorrow. Pray for blessings on his life. Yes that will be hard, especially now because you know I hear and respond to your prayers. But, do it anyway, with sincerity knowing that it is step one to you being free.
You need to be free of this not only for your self but for the people have put in your life. As long as you are bound in bitterness, you are no good to them. You will continually trip over the burden you are carrying until you release it.
So, pray for me to bless him now. When step one is complete, you can move to step two and three and you will be free before you know it. I love you daughter and this will not trip you up for much longer. It is one more step in the journey and you will not falter, you will not faint. I see you on the other side of it and you are stronger and more at peace than ever. I love you so much. Don't let this shadow cover you for one more minute.
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