Ugliness...

My prayer:

Today was pretty wonderful God. All day with you. Thank you for hanging out with me today.

I have something I need to talk to you about tonight but I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do or even what to want in this situation. I don’t know how to pray about it. I don’t even know exactly what to call it.

I ask God, that you listen to my heart tonight and help me. I am tired of sweeping this under the rug and hoping it will go away. I need a plan or I need deliverance or I need wisdom…something. I need something so I can get past this.

Thank you God in advance for your help.

What God Said Tonight:

Not everything can be described. Not everything can be reasoned away. There are some things in this life that are only experienced and there are some things that are only conquered through the power of the Holy Spirit on earth and in you.

You have an ugliness, a thing in you that you don’t like. You can’t get rid of it on your own, you have tried and you still have it. You have tried to reason with it and it is still there. You have tried to accept it and it is still there. You have tried to defeat it and it is still there.

What is left? The only thing left, the only thing you can do is to trust me with it.

I know your issues and I know your weaknesses. I won’t ever exploit your weakness. I will only guard your weakness. Your enemy wants to hit you where it hurts. I want to shield you where it hurts. I want to heal you where it hurts.

I have a plan for you and for the ugliness that you worry about. I will see you delivered from this thing. But this one, this one will take a while. I want you to be whole. I want you to be complete. To do that will take some time. I could just remove it but that would leave you with a piece missing and you should have it all. You are my child and I want to see you fully blessed.

So, trust me with this. I know that you can’t do it and it is ok. I know that you need me to fix it and I will. Trust me no matter how long it takes.