Looking for love...

My prayer:
God, as you know, I have a lot of questions running through my head tonight. I will work really hard for this not to turn into a whining session, but you said last night if I wanted to hear what you have to say on something specific, I should ask. Then, Pastor Joe preached the same thing today, so I am going to be specific.

Why, since we were made to love you and love each other, are we so bad at it? Why do we seem to hurt each other more than love each other? Especially between men and women, why is it so hard to just tell somebody, hey, you are important to me and I care about you? Why is that we are all looking for love and so few of us find it, at least a lasting love?

Why are there so many divorces? How do we get from, "you are the love of my life" and a surprise proposal picnic at the top of a mountain, to "I hate you and can't stand to look at you anymore and I will fight you for custody of the kids?" How do we get from "I love you" to "don't make me hit you again"?

Is there a way out of this cycle other than being single forever? Is there a way to truly love each other forever? I just don't know. I want it to be possible but evidence is not supporting it. God, I want a marriage where the three of us work in tandem. God I want a husband who loves me like you do. Is this even possible? More specifically, is it possible for me?

I love you so much and if that is the love I'm meant to have for the rest of my life, just you, it is enough. But, if I can have the Godly marriage with you first, us working for your Kingdom together and holding hands on the front porch when were 80, I want that too. God I pray that you hear me tonight and help me to understand. Love you.

What God said tonight:
Thank you daughter for making it plain. You have had these questions percolating for awhile now and it is a relief to have you finally ask me. The answers are not easy and straightforward. With people, they seldom are. I will try to explain as best as I can.

You were made for love and to love and to be loved. The original plan, as you know, got temporarily sidetracked. Your purpose for being loved and for loving will be restored one day. They remain the core of who you are. In the meantime, you are in a daily battle to love and be loved. In the meantime, you have to trust me for the strength and help to love even when it is hard.

Now, when it comes to romantic love, love between a man and woman, a husband and wife, that is a special kind of love. It is the love most reflective of my love for you other than a father's love for his child. That is why it has been so hard for you to understand that kind of love. You have already been twisted up about the love of a father and romantic love due to the abuse from your father. So, when I say that the love between a husband and wife is like my love for you just as much as the love of a father for a daughter is reflective of my love for you, you cringe a little. It reminds you of the lack of boundaries between your natural father and you.

With me, you know, it is different. My love for you is pure and holy. I would never hurt you or put you in danger My love for you is all encompassing. I will care for you forever. I will provide for and protect you forever. That is what a husband, a Godly husband is meant to do. That is what a Godly father is meant to do. That is why both types of love are reflective of my love for you.

You did not have that Godly love from your father growing up but I have shown it to you since. You have not had that Godly love from a husband, but I am trying to show it to you now. It is possible to have the Godly marriage and the love that you have described. It takes work and complete reliance on me. Not everyone is up to it. Not everyone can stick with it long enough to see love triumph, but it is possible. And, specifically, it is possible for you. It is in your future if you want it.

Try not to be scared. Trust me to be your teacher and guide as always. I love you. This is the beginning of understanding a new aspect of that love. The church is my bride and you are the church. Don't get freaked out, this is a good thing and where we need to go next. Be my bride?