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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Monday, July 4, 2011

Going through the motions...

My prayer:
Mighty God. I am not sure if I am going to actually post this tonight, but there are some things I need to get off of my chest. If, when we are done, you don't want it on the blog, let me know and it will be just between us. 

The thing is I am really frustrated. I am so sick of church for the sake of church. I am so sick of religion without relationship with you. I am so sick and tired of knowing what your promises are, but seeing us, your children, not expecting to have those promises in our lives. If you made the promises, and you never lie, we should expect them and we should see them everyday in our lives. 

I am sick of talking about growing churches instead of growing your kingdom. God, I don't care where people go to church. I just care that they get to know you, really get to know you and that can be easier if they have people who already know you to help them out. But when it comes with all of the trappings of traditional church, it sometimes can mess them up more than help them. 

God you are better than what we show you off as in church. You are better than how I am reflecting you. 

God, you have put me in a community of believers that has a vision to have a church that is more about knowing you than it is about "having church" and that is awesome; but, right now, I find myself stuck in a rut, doing things because that's what you do when you have a church, not because it is edifying you or helping people to know you better. Not because it is getting me or anyone else closer to you.

God, you are amazing. You  bless me in little and big ways every day. You teach me, change me, heal me, guide me, provide for me, and do everything for me. You deserve so much more than me going through the motions. 

God, show me what to change. Show me where I got off track. God show me what you want.

What God Said Tonight:
Thanks for getting that out. It has been bubbling up in you for awhile and it was beginning to interfere with our relationship, so I am glad you finally got it out where we can deal with it. 

Living for me, being in relationship with me, getting to know me, seeing my promises reflected in your everyday life is a process not something that is ever completed. You never "arrive" as they say, in a relationship with me. I am eternal and you are eternal now and we will be building this relationship for eternity. 

You have shaken off a lot of the trappings of religion without relationship and that is good. Now you are feeling the need to do more and that is good too. That means that you want to get closer to me and that is a good thing. Now that you have asked me about it, asked for my help, I can guide you. I can show you the things that matter and the things that don't. You might be surprised by some of the things that I think matter and don't matter. 

Whenever you question whether something is worthwhile and growing the kingdom of God, look for the root of it in the Bible, in my life. If you see it there, then look for the fruit. Is it actually growing my Kingdom? Is it actually helping people know me better? If you get "yeses" to those questions, you can be pretty sure that it is worthwhile and I am all for it. It is not nearly as complicated as you make it sometimes. 

There are some things that you are doing right now that, because of the way you are doing them, they are not worthwhile; however, if you see them in a different light, you will see that they could be done in a way that meets all the criteria. 

Remember as well that I can get through to people even when the presentation is not perfect. I have been doing it for thousands of years. You didn't have perfect teaching or guidance all of the time but you made it here. You made it to a point where you can talk to me about anything and you trust and know that I will answer you. You have arrived at a place where you are so excited about our relationship that you are desperate for other people to know about it. That didn't happen because of any one person, any one church. That happened because I wanted you. That happened because I had a plan and a purpose for you from the beginning of time. 

The problem now is not in what you are doing but in some cases, the problem is how you are doing it. I have given you many opportunities. Every one has a purpose, both to build my Kingdom and to build your character. 

I love you daughter. It is fine to post this. I promise you are not the only one who is feeling this way and you are not the only one with this prayer. Never be ashamed of the truth. I am the truth, the way, and the life and I am here for you always.