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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Timing...

My prayer:
Lord, God, Jehovah. Pretty incredible Bible study tonight. That was a pretty quick answer to the unanswered prayer questions from last night! Thank you God for moving in the women's lives. God, thank you for providing the help, the house, the job, that has been our prayer for almost a year! What a great reminder that you always come through. Even when we have been waiting for so long and think that it is never going to happen, as long as we don't give up, you will come through. Thank you for coming through and thank you for the reminder.

God you are so very good to us. So very good to me.

Timing continues to be a topic that keeps coming up for me. I have such a hard time waiting on your timing. God I need your help. I don't know what I really need but I know that I am so often frustrated with waiting on your timing; even though, when I look at it in hindsight, I can usually see why it was important to wait for it to happen at the exact time that you made it happen.

You are always right God. Why then do I have such a hard time trusting your timing and waiting on you? I get so impatient. I want it all yesterday. God, I am almost afraid to ask for help in this because in the past when I have asked for patience, you have had me wait longer to build my patience. I don't think I can handle waiting even longer.

I wish that I could just enjoy each day for what it is and at some level I do. But I know there is so much more and I want it.

Same old complaint God. What am I missing? What do I need to change? How can I learn to wait more patiently with the assurance that your timing is always right? I ask your help God. Thank you for teaching me, growing me, and making me into the woman of God that you want me to be.

What God said tonight:
Good questions and thank you for finally asking me about this issue that has been percolating in you for weeks now. You have been telling others that you are struggling with it but you haven't been talking to me about it. I want you to bring this and everything to me so I can help.

Timing is a funny thing. I don't think about time the same way you do. Since I control time and I am simultaneously the beginning and the end. I am at all places and times at the same time. I am ever present and being so, I don't think about time as linear like you do. I don't see it so much as past present and future. It all just is.

Now, from the time that I lived on the earth as Jesus, Yeshua, I understand how you think of time. I understand that it can be frustrating. I understand that timing and waiting are more important and more difficult for you.

Part of it is how I made you, with ambition and drive to accomplish the next thing. Part of it is a sense of general restlessness that is based in fear. You think that if it doesn't happen now, it might not happen. It seems like no amount of reassurance has touched this fear. It is a deep root based in disappointments of the past. You need to find that root and get it out. Once you find it, expose it so it can die.

I will help you find it. Look for the disappointments that bring the feeling of pain back. The ones that you can still feel today. Those are the ones that are at the root of this.

You are going to come through this like every other struggle. You will be better off when we get this root out. When you are waiting in anticipation and not in fear, it won't be so hard to wait.

I love you daughter. You are on track and you will see it all. Let's get this root out of the way and move on. Be blessed daughter.

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