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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Sunday, October 24, 2010

My missing piece...

My prayer:
My God, Lord and friend. Today was a pretty great day. Great service, opportunities to serve, good food, bull riding, friends, family...can't ask for much more.

I love you God and I am so grateful for everything you are doing right now. The opportunities are tremendous. I feel like I should be more grateful and more thankful though. I get mad at myself when I focus on the things that have not yet happened but that I so desperately want. With all that you are doing, with all that you are blessing me with now, it really should be enough.

Maybe I'm just greedy. I want it all God. I want the whole package. As great as everything is, I am missing a piece and I want that piece. But then, even as I say that, I feel so small for being ungrateful for all you have done. I want to be satisfied and content. In some ways I am. I don't know, I know I am being vague tonight. Mainly because I don't want to admit this stuff to myself let alone you. I still want the whole package, the marriage and the ministry. There, I said it. You are moving forward the ministry in ways I couldn't even imagine a few months ago. It is so exciting. When do I get to see the other half?

I love you and please forgive me for my ungratefulness. Help me to be a blessing this week. Help me to do everything that you need me to do and in the spirit of excellence that you have called me to. I love you and I am sorry that I keep whining about the same thing.

What God Said Tonight:
You aren't whining. It was like pulling teeth to get you to even admit it tonight. Why do you still worry about what you bring to me? You know that I want to know it all, I want to take care of it all. I want to be your everything and I want to meet all of your needs.

You have a predestined plan on your life, your whole life. I know that it can be hard and lonely sometimes. I want you to remember that I am always with you. I want you to look around and see the people I have surrounded you with. I want you to understand that there is so much love in your life. Your love is multiplied back to you.

There will yet be time for the love and marriage that you now want. It will all happen in the predestined timing that is mine. Until then, we still have a lot to do. Until then, I want to be a little selfish with you. Until then, I want to keep you for myself. I want your full attention.

When you have that husband, your time, your attention will be somewhat divided. There will be times when you will have to remind yourself to have time like this with me, especially in the beginning when things are all exciting with your husband. So, for now, I am reveling in your full attention. I love being your one and only.

But I am not a selfish God and I will not keep you from your dream. I will not keep you from the vision. I am the one who gave it you. For now, love me and receive my love. For now, trust me and my timing. For now, stay with me awhile and let me be your number one as you are mine.

I love you sweetheart. Sleep well in preparation for a great day tomorrow. I have a few surprises to keep you busy and guessing tomorrow! Love you to pieces!

1 comment:

  1. I am praying today that the Father will give you the desires of your heart, I am trusting and believing with you by faith.