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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Little things...

My prayer:
Lord God of all creation, awesome Father. Today was a tough one again. Not because of anything that happened really. It was a pretty uneventful day. However, my attitude was not good. Forgive me God for being irritable, discouraged and impatient.

Thank you for friends that were praying and friends to make me laugh at my own silly self. Whenever I start to doubt, whenever I start to think that this life right now is all there really is, that is when my attitude goes south. But, when I think about it, nothing stays the same. Everything is constantly changing. Even the rocks are changing every second. Some changes are more noticeable than others, but everything is changing. God I pray that you help me to get that in my heart. Please remind me of that when I start to doubt, when I think nothing is ever going to change.

My life I think would be easier if I could just learn to be satisfied with the status quo instead of always wanting the next thing. I know you told me you designed me that way, to always look for the next new thing and it can be really exciting when there are new things happening. But days like today, where I was truly just going through the motions, trying not to bite any one's head off just because I was so irritable at the sameness, these days are hard.

Ok, now I feel guilty for even saying that God. When I look at my life compared to some others, my "problems" are nothing. When I look at my past and the things I have been through, today was less than nothing. There is no condemnation in you God, so I know the guilt comes from me and not you.

Is it ok when I bring you the comparatively little stuff? It is little but it is also a struggle. It seems like the little things are just eating away at me right now God. Little problems with my car, little things said about me, little changes in relationships. God I need help with all the little things that are building up. They feel like an avalanche about ready to gang up on me and bury me.

I love you God. I know that you can handle any problem no matter how big or how little. I love you and am so grateful that I can bring anything to you. Thank you for listening and showing up in my life.

What God said tonight:
Your life is insignificant in some ways and vastly important in other ways. It is hard to understand but every thing that you go through is important because you are going through it. It may be "easier" or "harder" than what your brother is going through but it is your experience of the thing that matters.

Each thing you go through will be the next thing I use in your life to bless you and bless others. I won't ever waste an experience. You have heard it preached that I will never waste a hurt and it is true. I love you to much to let you go through pain, struggle and trials without giving you and the people around you a benefit from it.

You are the greatest testimony I can have. Just your day to day life. Nothing special but more precious than all the jewels in the world. You are not important in yourself but you are a lighthouse for me and my word. You are a lighthouse than shines me out to the world. What could be more important or more meaningful than that. Being a lighthouse for the Lord of all creation. That should make you feel pretty special.

You are going through that season of waiting and you know from experience it doesn't last forever. You know it is a matter of time before I bring you the next new thing. We are moving and getting things done at such a fast rate these days. We have to. Time really is running out.

I love you daughter. Learn from today. Use today to bless others and you will see it as the blessing it was meant to be for you. I love you and have more to do with and for you but there will inevitably be some down time now and then. Rest is as important as action sometimes.

Don't ever hesitate to bring anything to me. Little, big, no matter. They are all the same to me. I want you to be happy and fulfilled. I want you to be blessed. It is my desire that everyone is saved and living for me. It is my desire that you live a life that I called you to in every aspect. The promises on your life remain. There is no change. It just may not happen the way you thought it would. Can you be open to me doing it my way? Good, now rest, tomorrow is full of more changes.

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