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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Thursday, April 14, 2016

Hand it to God...

The hand of God by the-baron-85 on deviantART

My prayer:

Awesome God, I come here to you a bit later than normal. I tried to sleep after a too long day but my own bitterness and inability to let things go woke me up.

I really need your help. I know I should not dwell on these thoughts. I know that the main reason that the words spoken hurt so badly is because I am exhausted and burnt out and likely, when I have my feet back under me, they would not hurt nearly as badly. I know that I need to let go of that hurt, forgive the person. I know and believe all of that but I clearly have not been able to do it.

God, I need your help to forgive. I need your help to let go of the righteous indignation. I need your help to let go of the bitter thoughts. For my sake and for yours.

I know that I will feel better if I do. I know that my life will be better if I do. I know that you have asked me to do it. Now, I need your help to actually do it because I am not getting it done on my own. I am, instead, awake at 2:00 AM dwelling on it instead of sleeping.

What God Said Tonight:

I know you want to reason this out. I know you want to find the logic in it that will make it ok. I know that you have tried and you have failed.

This time, logic won't bring you out. This time trust and reliance on me will bring you out. This time, every time you feel the defensiveness and bitterness welling up, you can hand it to me and ask me to take care of it.

Hand it over as often as you need to. I have big arms and I can hold it all. Stop thinking so hard and surrender it to me. I love you.

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