Self critical...

My prayer:
Incredible Father God.  You are amazing.  Thank you for your miracles today.  Thank you for your healing miracles.  Thank you for your powerful protection.  Thank you God for everything.  I love you so much God. 

While I am so grateful for all that you are doing, if I am honest, I have been a little uneasy all day today God.  I am not even sure why.  I find myself being super critical of myself today.  I having been thinking about the things that I have done and have been telling myself I am not good enough. 

Now, there is a whole lot of "I" in those sentences and I realize that is a big part of my problem today God.  I have been way too focused on me and not spending enough time concentrating on others. I can get pretty selfish sometimes.  And then, I beat myself up for being selfish! Not a very helpful cycle God. 

Why is it I know the things I should and should not do and yet sometimes I have such a hard time doing the things I should and not doing the things I should not do?  Was it Paul who asked that same question?  Is there hope?  Do we, do I ever, learn enough that I don't have to continue to repeat patterns that are no good for me or the people around me? 

God, I ask for you help.  I ask God that you help me to stop this self centered and self critical stuff.  It isn't any help and it just depresses me and makes me less effective.  I pray God that you help me get my focus back on you and your people.  I pray God for your help to be a better person tomorrow than I was today.  In Jesus name, amen.

What God Said Tonight:
Yes sweet daughter.  There is always hope.  As long as you have me in your life, there is always hope. You do have a pattern built in your life of becoming self critical.  It's root is deep and it may take a lifetime to pull it out completely, but you are learning.  You are better than you use to be.  You are quicker to recognize the symptom and the cause.  You are making progress. 

You are waiting to be perfect or expecting to be perfect and you never will be.  Your perfection only comes from the covering you have in me.  In yourself, you will never be perfect.  You will never be perfect but you can always be better. 

You're right about changing your focus.  You have the right idea.  However, you may want to spend a little time doing some gardening first.  Tear out a bit of this weed of self criticism.  Recognize your worth in me.  Recognize that you are the daughter of the most high God.  No, your actions are never perfect but they are anointed by my Spirit.  I can cover you when you are less than perfect.  It is why I bled and died.  To be your covering.  That covering is not only protective but also meant to cover your imperfections.  It was meant to make you pure and able to serve me and my people. My covering allows you to be what you need to be to serve me and my people. 

Your continued striving to be better is good.  You will always have room to grow and you will always be growing.  In that growth, be happy with the progress, not critical that you aren't where you hope to be yet. 

You are about to go into a season where complete reliance on me is necessary.  It may be why you are being so critical right now.  Some part of your spirit recognizes that you don't have what it takes to accomplish what we will accomplish in this next season. But the thing is, that is ok.  I never meant you to accomplish it alone.  I always intended that we would do this together.  I just need you to show up and to trust.  You are getting pretty good at those two things. 

So, my daughter, rest in the knowledge that you are imperfect and doing things imperfectly but it doesn't really matter.  My anointing covers everything that needs to be covered.  Maintain the humility but stop the self criticism.  Trust me daughter.  We are in this together.  I love you so very much.  Rest in the total acceptance I have for you.  Rest  in the immovable knowledge that you are and will always be a royal priesthood and the daughter of the most high God.  You are my gem and I love you.