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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Edge of doom...

My prayer:
I am pretty crazy about you God. I know I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately, seeing the things that I don't have in my life, seeing the lack in me, etc. But fact is, having you in my life, living, active, and manifested in my life is better than anything or anyone I could ever imagine. You really are everything I need. 

I am so tired of these cycles where I feel like I am one bad decision away from massive failure. I don't know where they come from. Most of the time, fear of failure isn't a problem anymore.  You have shown me how failure is really just an opportunity and most of the time that is how I see it. But every once in awhile, I start feeling like something really horrible is right around the corner. I get to feeling that I am about to mess up so big, it will be really tough to get over it. 

The thing is, almost all of the time when I feel like this, nothing happens. That let's me know that it is a lie and I should ignore it. But I start to think, what if this time it is you trying to warn me about something. What if this time, it is true. Uggh! I said I wasn't going to go here tonight God but I guess it is still weighing on my heart. 

Help me God to see and know the truth. Help me to make good decisions. Help me God to pull out of this. I really don't like it. Forgive me God for whining tonight. I don't like that I am doing that either. I am sorry.

What God Said Tonight:
Can you mess up big enough that I can't fix it? I am God. I am the ruler of the universe. I am the all powerful and mighty God. Could you ever, even if you tried really hard, mess up big enough that I couldn't fix it? Of course not. The only decision you can make that would keep me from fixing it is if you chose to keep me out of your life. Otherwise, as long as I am in your life, I can fix anything you get wrong. 

That being said, don't go about and try to do things wrong. There are consequences, natural consequences for actions and I don't want you to suffer if you don't have to. But big time mess ups, they are well within my ability to turn them around to your good. 

When I give you a warning about something bad coming your way, I will always give you the answer of how to deal with it. I will never leave you with just the impending doom and worry. If all you have is worry and fear, you know who those are from. He is spending a lot of time on you right now. In this battle, I need you to remember everything you have learned. Even more, I need you to trust me to fight it. 

Keep bringing this stuff to me. I can only truly help you when you bring it to me. If you hold onto it because you are ashamed or because you don't want to complain, then I can't address it directly, which is always the most effective approach. 

I love you daughter. You are not on the edge of doom, you are on the edge of your breakthrough. You are on the edge of the next level that will be glorious. I am already celebrating where you are going. I am celebrating your future. Trust me to be big enough to take care of you and all that you do. I will guide you and lead you but not through fear. I will always guide you through peace and hope. I love you so much. Trust, rest, and keep praying. 

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