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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Monday, April 4, 2011

Growth hurts...

My prayer:
Awesome God.  Today was a strange mixture of crazy favor, painful growth and opportunities to serve. 

Why does growth always have to hurt?  Maybe it doesn't "have" to, but it seems like it usually does.  God, I would love it if you could just take out every ugly thing in me.  I would love it if you could remove every bit of pride, every bit of meanness, every bit of judgement and anything else you run into that is not a reflection of you. 

God I need your help with all of it.  I am tired of thinking I am doing ok, just to run into another pocket of yuck in me somewhere. I know we are all sinners and me the most of all, but do we have to stay that way?  I am tired of being less than my potential.  I am tired of being less than the loving reflection of you that you tell me to be. 

It hurts people God.  When I have this crud in me and I don't get it dealt with, it hurts people.  I don't even want to think about all of the people I have hurt over the years.  Often unintentional, but does that matter to the person who was hurt?.  I don't want to hurt anyone else. 

Father God, help me to be a better person.  Help me to grow faster and more completely.  Help me to be all that you intend for me to be. Please and in Jesus name who made it possible, amen.

What God Said Tonight:
Your choice of focus is interesting tonight.  Out of a day filled with favor and with joy you are focused on the one area of difficulty and the area of challenge.  Did you take time to remember that I am with you always.  That the same favor that I show you on your job covers you in every relationship and interaction you have. 

You are not perfect.  You hurt people sometimes.  You are hurt sometimes.  Next time you are hurt, remember this night and your recognition of your own imperfectness and the pain that it causes.  Remember that you hate that you hurt people  but that you do anyway sometimes.  Give the person who hurts you in the future the benefit of the doubt.  Give them the courtesy to believe that just maybe they aren't trying to hurt you out of spite.  That just maybe, they are reacting out of their own set of issues and baggage that they are working on, but they are not quite there yet. 

You are all in the same boat.  You are all under the same condition.  If you were perfect and never messing up, never hurting anyone, you would not be able to understand when it happens to you.  You would be without flaw, but you would be without compassion.  One day, we will live in a world that is based solely on love.  When that day comes, you can live as the perfected being that you are.  You can live and love perfectly.

Until that time, in this world, you are living in the same condition.  You are all working on issues at some level.  If you weren't, not only would you not be able to understand and have compassion for those that do struggle, but also you would become elitist and separatists.  The "perfect" people would never want to let in the "imperfect" people.  That is why pride is so dangerous.  When you even think you are perfect, you tend to isolate and not let any one who is less than perfect in.  If you shut out imperfect people, my message will never reach the people it needs to.  If you shut out imperfect people you will never be able to complete my will for your life. 

So, recognize your imperfection and know that even that is of use to me.  Love in spite of your imperfectness.  Apologize when you hurt someone.  Forgive when someone hurts you. I love you just as you are and I am proud of you for wanting to be better. 

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