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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Blur...

My prayer:
Awesome God.  I am in a bit of an introspective mood tonight. Today was great.  I love these sabbath rest days.  You are right, I need one a week or things get too out of whack. 

God, I have so many different thoughts and questions running through my head tonight, I am not sure where to start.  I am thinking about the point of life.  The meaning, or I guess not really the meaning, but how life is best spent. 

I spent a lot of years focusing on being "successful" in life.  I focused on excelling at work, always winning, always being first, always working harder and doing more.  I valued the accomplishment.  

You have shown me in the last several years that there is more.  That people, relationships are much more important than accomplishments.  So, is that it?  Is that how I am supposed to focus my time, on people and relationships?  Is there more beyond that? 

Of course, you are my first focus God.  You are above everything.  You have that verse that says seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.  Maybe that is the key?

I guess, there is so much going on right now, most all of it good, but everything is moving so fast, life is a blur and I feel like I am lacking focus.  I feel like I am losing track of basic principles.  God, I ask for your help and for wisdom.  I pray God that you show me where to focus.  I pray God that you make me a blessing to the people in my life and to you. 

I also pray over worship services throughout the world God.  I pray that your presence and power be present.  That people get to experience you personally and in a significant life changing way.  I love you God.

What God Said Tonight:
Your life feels like a blur and out of focus right now but that is ok.  I am in charge still.  You are uncomfortable because you are not in charge, you are not in control.  You always feel safer when you think you are in control, but you are not.  You are safest when you give in and let me take control. 

Stop trying to put boundaries or limits on this experience you are in right now.  Stop trying to make sense of it.  Just experience it.  You can't put your arms around this thing because you are living my dream for you and my dreams are bigger that you can imagine.  You can't fully comprehend everything going on or even everything you need to do right now because it is bigger than you. 

I love you so much. I know you can do this.  I know you can trust me for each breath.  I know you can follow my lead in the little and the big things.  I trust you to do it.  Now, trust yourself.  Trust that you have been prepared for this and you do not need to be in control.  Understand that if you were in control, you would ruin this.  Not on purpose but simply through the limitations you have in being human, you would ruin it. 

Trust me for each direction and continue to follow me.  I have such a plan and a purpose for you .  Trust me and stop trying to reason it out.  Pay attention to me, love me and love the people around you.  Anything more specific and I will tell you personally.  Keep moving forward and we will do more than you can imagine. 

Trust me and you will see things beyond your ability to imagine.  You will be a part of something that you won't be able to believe, even as it is happening.  You already are and it seems like you are loving it.  So, trust me for the next steps just as you trusted me to get you here.  I love you daughter.  Be mine forever. 

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