The blessing and the cursing...

My Prayer:

Awesome ruler, Mighty God. Thank you for this day. I felt pretty lazy today God. I didn't accomplish what I had planned to but enjoyed being able to relax and spend time with family.

I was just reading in Joshua tonight where you, he and the army of Israel come into the promised land and conquer and kill everyone they run into. Sometimes I fell like that, like I just can't lose. Sometimes I feel like you are so on my side that everything I touch just works. But, other times, it feels like everything I touch falls apart. Everything I try to do just fails.

Usually, I can't tell the difference, what I am doing differently during these two times. I could understand if I was living right and getting blessed or if I was sinning and I was getting cursed. That makes sense. But sometimes, when I know that I am doing things outside of your will, when I know I am sinning, I am still getting blessed. And sometimes, when I am doing everything I know to do to follow your will, it seems like I am cursed and nothing is going right. Not all of the time, but sometimes.

I see similar things in the lives around me and I don't know what to say or how to help. Sometimes, people are really doing all they know to do and their life just seems to be falling apart. I know you have said to just love them, and I do, I am. But, is there anything else. Anything that makes sense out of it all. I like it when things make sense.

I pray God that your magnificent presence be experienced in your church services throughout the world tomorrow. I pray your will be accomplished in each and every service. I pray God for our service at Zyxter. I pray that you show us even more aspects of you. I pray that you show us something new and amazing leaving us in awe. I thank you for surprise annointings and blessings. In Jesus name.

What God said tonight:

Hi my daughter. Your thoughts are somewhat muddled tonight but I think I hear your true question. No, life doesn't always make sense to your rational human brain. If it all made sense, you wouldn't have needed me. If it could all be done by following rules, you would never have needed my son. The law would have been enough.

But sometimes, you need undeserved grace. Sometimes you need blessings when you are messing up the worst to remind you that I am here and I love you. Sometimes you need to miss out on blessings even though you are getting things right to make sure you trust me and not your own obedience. Sometimes I have to hold back those blessings so you remember who the blessings are from. Sometimes I have to hold back the blessings so you strive for even greater levels of intimacy.

So you see, it does all make a certain kind of sense, not a legalistic, law abiding kind of sense, but a love abiding kind of truth. You are tired and should rest for tomorrow but thank you for meeting with me anyway. Your service will be blessed. I am doing a new thing tomorrow that will blow you mind. I love you I love you I love you!

Safety...

My prayer:

What a fantastic day God! Thank you for great times, great friends and great favor on my life. Thank you for your protection today. The micro-bursts that marched through the city today wreaking havoc were pretty crazy and even though I was all around those areas today, you kept me safe and protected.

I think I sometimes take your protection for granted God. I have lived under your protection for so long now, it kind of gives me a sense of invincibility. Sometimes I wonder if I have an unhealthy assurance of safety. Maybe that's part of why I'm not worried about jumping out of a plane for my birthday. I have always wanted to fly and I just don't feel like I'm in any danger even though I know it can be dangerous. I take it as a given that you will protect me and keep me safe. If I was going to die early from doing something stupid, I never would have made it through my teenage years. Everyone I talk to thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do it, but I am really not afraid. Maybe I should be?

So often at work, people will be talking about this disaster or that disaster. There are definitely enough to pick from these days. They are all worried about what will happen next. Will they be next. They want me to worry with them but I just can't. How can I worry with the Creator of the Universe on my side.

I know that bad things happen to everyone but I also know that I have the assurance that you will always bring me through. You will always take care of me. That probably makes me seem cocky to some people, but if they only understood it was not self assurance at all but assurance in you. I tell them, but do I tell them enough? Do I tell them in a way that they can really understand and know that they can live with the same assurance? I am not sure. I bet I could do better.

Well, anyway, thank you for a great day and for your continued protection on my life. Thank you for teaching me how to trust you for everything. Thank you God for being my safety net.

What God said tonight:

Safety is an interesting concept. It is good that you know that you can trust me to keep you "safe." But safety is not really an absence of harm. It's about being sheltered in the midst of the harm. You know the story about Daniel and the lions. Safety with me is like that. You may have lions ready to eat you, but I will keep them from devouring you. You may have micro-bursts all around you but they won't touch you. You may see the danger but you will be sheltered when you trust me.

Now don't get too crazy though. Don't start looking for danger to see if I will protect you. There is enough danger in the world already, you don't need to look for more. But stay assured of my protection in the midst of danger. Stay confident in my loving protection around you. Others may not always understand but they notice and eventually they want to know why. That becomes the great opening to show them me.

It's time to walk in confidence of my love, confidence of my power, confidence of your purpose. I don't need you to be shy or behind the scenes. I need you to step out and declare what you know to be true. I need you to step up and call out my name. I need you. Sleep in peace. I love you so much.

Open your eyes...

My prayer:
Compassionate God. Mighty father. How are you tonight? Was it a good day for you? Did anyone do anything that pleased you today. Did any of us do anything to make you smile?

Thank you for the "small" opprotunities today to be a blessing. Thank you for letting me be there when the older gentleman needed help with the computerized building directory. Thank you for letting me see and talk with the homeless man who is usually on the corner of Broadway and 8th. He always has the most amazing positive attitude. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks and was worried. He says he is doing good, but he always says he is doing good, and he didn't look good today. God, let me know what more I can do for him. What would be the most help to him?

I am betting there were many more opportunities today that I missed. Forgive me for missing opportunities and help me to see them better tomorrow. Sometimes I see these amazing people who have given their whole lives to you and serving you. They go into the poorest and most dangerous areas and love on the people with a pureness and without fear. I want to be more like that.

I want to be more aware of the needs around me and better able to meet them. Even this last Sunday, it took someone else to point out to me the woman who had been sitting alone with no one talking to her. I didn't even notice her until he pointed her out to me and asked me to get to know her. She was so surprised that someone actually came to talk to her. It made me feel really small that I hadn't noticed her on my own. Help me God to be more aware.

Thank you for today God. I love you!

What God said tonight:
This is a turning point tonight. You have asked the right things. You are beginning to understand the point of all of this. It isn't about you. Much as I love you, it isn't about you. It never was. It is about being the blessing that you want to see in your own life. It is about showing my love and compassion to everyone you run across.

That was the main point of my son's life. Not his death but of his life. He spent time with people that no other self respecting Jew would have spent time with. He spent time with the "despicable" people, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the Samaritans. He spent his time with people that no one else noticed or cared about. It so easy to love the beautiful people. It takes effort to notice the invisible people. And yet, they are often the people in the most need of a kind word, a compliment, a meal or a hug. Keep your eyes open, your ears open and your heart open and I will help you to see those who are unseen. I will help you to show true compassion and meet the true underlying needs in each person.

You will be a blessing to all of those around you but it will take some work on your part. It will take some commitment on our part. I know you are up for it though. You were made for this stuff!!

You know my love for you. You know that I will help you every step of the way. I will never leave you or forsake you and I will guide you always, I promise. Sleep well my daughter.

Time to reflect...

My prayer:
God what an awesome Bible Study group again! You are so amazing. I love watching you work in each of our lives. I love how you have brought us all together, not by accident but with a purpose and a plan. What an amazing experience every week. I remain in awe of you God.

I am also a little stunned by what you are doing with this blog. It is so clear that this is you and not me. Who in their right mind would come visit this site everyday to listen to silly me spout off? Thank you for continuing to meet us here every night. Thank you for the courage to get this going. Thank you for the amazing friends, family and Pastor that have been so supportive of it.

Most of all, thank you for what you are doing in the lives of the people who log on and read what you have to say every night. You are touching their hearts. You are showing them that very real and personal side of you that makes me love you more every day. Thank you for being you and for all that you do God.

What God said tonight:
My precious daughter. It is so good to spend this time together. Part of what I love about this blog that we are are doing is that it has stirred a renewed fire in you to seek me and hear my voice. It has taken our relationship to a new level and I love that. I love that you now are so eager to meet with me every night, not because you have a need but just because you are curious as to what I will say tonight.

Tonight is special. Tonight is a time of reflection and a time of peace. Many things have been happening in the last couple of weeks and I want to take a minute with you to reflect on those things and recognize that they are good. Recognize them for the miracles that they are. I love doing things in your life but if you are not careful, you will take them for granted and stop recognizing them for the miracles that they are.

Don't lose the childlike awe. Don't lose the ability to be surprised. Come to me like a child, in faith and with a trust that is complete and I will fulfill every promise. My awesome power is at work for your good. My all encompassing knowledge is focused on your issue. We can't lose.

I love you, now and forever.

What God thinks about...

My prayer:
Hi God. I am kind of sick of my own voice tonight. What do you want to talk about? What is on your mind? If you want to talk to someone I'm here.

What God said tonight:
Hi beautiful. You are on my mind. You and your brothers and sisters. You are always on my mind. You are all that I think about. You are all that I care about. Your welfare is my only priority.

That is why I sent my son to die for you. That is why I so desperately want to spend time with you. That is why I wrote a book for you (or really many books) to guide you through life. Everything I do is for you and because I love you. Every thought I have is focused entirely on you. I have no distractions. I only have you and my love for you.

If only you could learn to live that kind of life. A life with no distractions, completely focused on me and people and your love for us. If only you could learn to live like that, you would have everything. If only you could learn to love like I do, you would have more than you can ever dream for. Keep learning to love. Keep learning to focus without distraction on me, people and that love.

You are so precious and your essence, your spirit, your soul is unlike anyone else. Each of you is entirely unique and made for an entirely unique purpose. Celebrate the difference. Celebrate that one of you is a hand, and one a foot. One is an eye and one is nose. One is an ear and one is a back. Celebrate that you, together are the body. Celebrate that working within your differences within your gifts, you can accomplish ANYTHING.

I love you so much. Rest and prepare for tomorrow my love.

Boredom...

My prayer:
Majestic God. Lover of my soul. You are so worthy God. You are so perfect. My ability to understand you is so imperfect, but you are so perfect. You are always there to lead me, guide me, love me. You are always there for me.

God, I feel like I am right on the edge of a big change and I can't wait. I am tired of things as usual. I am tired of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home, going to bed and then doing it all again.

I love the new things you have brought in my life, the new church, the new opportunities, this blog, all of it. I love the newness and the challenge of it all. I know I should be content, but I am not very good at being content. Every opportunity to minister, to help, to serve, to love, to pray and to spread your word is like a drug almost. The more I do the more I want. The more I do, the less satisfying the rest of my life (e.g. work) is.

I know that there are opportunities to be the church, to be your hands and feet in nearly every situation in life. I pray God that you help me to see the opportunities in the mundane. I pray that you help me to see the purpose in those day to day things that seem like drudgery.

Maybe I am just too easily bored. Maybe I am the one that needs to change. God, if that's it, if I need to change, show me what to change and help me to change it. I trust you implicitly. Every thing that you have changed in me over the years has ALWAYS turned out to be for my good. So, if I need to change, let's do it. I love and trust you.

What God said tonight:
Oh sweetheart, you are not content because you have more to do. You are easily bored because I made you that way. I need you to always be looking for the new thing. I need you to always be excited to try the new thing. I need you to be out there in front, unafraid and trusting me.

Your change will come, naturally and without effort. You will not even notice until it is complete. You won't even know it has happened until it is done. You have many more new things in our life. You have many more times of new beginnings and new seasons. Be content in knowing that it is not over, it is not time to quit, we are just beginning this journey.

I love you and will take you into your future. Spend less time worrying about how you will get there and more time enjoying the ride. Rest, live, love and pray. Trust me in this and everything and I will fulfill my promises to you.

Father's Day...

My prayer:
Mighty and awesome God. Creator of the universe and Father to all humanity. I honor you tonight in recognition of Father's Day. Thank you for being my father. Thank you for teaching me what that really means through the amazing "fathers" and "big brothers" you put in my life over the last several years.

It was only a few years ago when we were in Israel that the minister asked me, "Who is God to you and who is he not." My answer at that time was that you were teacher, healer and Lord in my life but that you were not father because my only concept of father was pretty twisted. I didn't know about a loving father who wanted to protect and provide for his children. "Father" to me at the time meant abuse, control and anger. Thank you for showing me the real meaning of "father." Thank you for healing my relationship with my biological dad. Thank you for healing the wounds and the holes that were left by a messed up childhood and bringing me to this place where I can rest and trust you as father in my life. You took what was a huge void in my life and within a matter of a few years, turned it into one of the most blessed areas of my life.

Thank you Father. I love you so much! I pray that I never lose the dependency of a daughter on her father with you.

What God said tonight:
It's good. When I created the world and all that was in it, I recognized it as being inherently good. Some things have happened since then. Things that make it hard to always see the good, but see with my eyes and you will see the good that is still there.

Every hurt can be healed, no matter how deep. Every pain can be soothed, no matter how intense. Your pain was a great example of the limitlessness of the healing that is yours. You must never forget. You must always remember that there is no pain, no problem no situation that is too much for me to take care of.

With earthly fathers, kids usually believe that to be true of their dad for a period of time when they are young. Then something almost always happens to show them that it is not true and they become disillusioned. They realize that dad is just a human, just a man and there is disappointment, a let down. But with me, there never needs to be that let down. I will never let you down. I need you to understand that, especially in the days to come. I need you to be always aware of my power in your life. I need you to always remember that you are my number one priority.

I love you daughter. I had a wonderful day. Thank you for spending time with me.