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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.
My prayer:
The night before your birthday God. I don't know if I will ever get over the awe of that you, the God of all creation were willing to be born here on earth, grow, struggle, and die for me. It is really pretty unbelievable. I have heard the story my whole life and I still have trouble understanding the kind of love that motivates that kind of sacrifice.
I am in awe of you tonight God. I am so grateful that you chose the things you chose to do. I thank you for loving me enough to sacrifice all. You are amazing God and I would not want to live this life without you.
What God Said Tonight:
I know you cannot understand my love with your head. Love is not meant to be understood in the head. Love is meant to be experienced with the heart. Let your heart experience the love that I have for you.
I love you so much, the sacrifice was nothing. The pain, was nothing. Just as a mother forgets the pain of birth as she cradles her newborn, the pain I experienced was immediately forgotten when I got to be reconciled with you. I would do it all over again, if I needed to. I would do anything to be with you. I would do anything to be with my children.
I love you and I am excited to celebrate with all of you tomorrow. I am here for you always.
My prayer:
Mighty God! What a great start to my vacation! Today had a little bit of everything...well, almost everything.
God, as I start to think about the last year, really think about it, think about all of the amazing things you have done, how far you have brought me, I stand in awe with my jaw hanging open. How could I have ever imagined a year like this?
When I started calling out to you about ten years ago begging for a purpose and a plan for my life, you had this year in mind. When I begged to serve you 24/7 you had this year in mind.
I really have to remember that you know everything. You know the end from the beginning. I need to remember that I need to trust you when you say you will work it all out, and you have said that you will always work things to my good. I need to remember that you aren't just making a promise, you have already seen it. You know that it will all turn out to my good.
God I love you. Thasnk you for the most amazing year of my life.
What God Said Tonight:
When you have time this week, I want you to review the posts from the last year. I want you to see with some clarity that while this was the best year of your life so far, it was not always easy. I want you to remember that there were sacrifices and struggles. I want you to remember that at times you were confused, scared, upset, and worried. Then I want you to remember again all the amazing things.
I want you to look through both and see how well you were able to rely on me for how you felt instead of relying completely on the circumstances to make you happy.
You are old enough to know my daughter where joy comes from and where it does not. Remember it as we move forward.
My prayer:
Mighty God, I am falling asleep sitting up tonight but I have to hear your voice before I go to sleep. You are more important than air to me. What do you want to talk about?
What God Said Tonight:
I won't keep you up for long tonight. I want you to rest. Life has been hard work lately and it is time to rest, refresh, and rejuvenate.
I want to enjoy this weekend with you and you will need to be rested for that. I am your restoration. I am what fills you up when you are empty. Let's spend a lot of time together, really together this coming week. Let's spend more time where you are focused on me. I have a lot to tell you this week. I have a lot to prepare you for.
Will spend a little extra time with me? Spend time in worship, in my word, hiking together, and in prayer. Rest, yes, but rest in me so that it will actually produce the rest that you need. Have fun, yes, but have fun with me so it can fill you with my joy which is your strength.
I love you daughter. Sleep now and let's spend this vacation together.
My prayer:
Sweet Father. I am reflecting on your birth more and more as we get closer to Christmas, Imagining what that day was like.
There are a lot of traditional depictions of what it is like. Then there are the people who say that the traditional portrayals are wrong, that the manger was not a "barn" but was the courtyard in the middle of the familial home. There are those that say that Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem the night of your birth and those that say that they had been in Bethlehem for awhile when you were born. All very interesting to ponder.
But, the things I think about are how were Mary and Joseph feeling? Did they completely believe you were the son of God being born in her? Did they have doubts? I mean, it had never happened before. I would think they had to have some level of doubt. Then, when the angels began to sing, the shepherds came to see you, and then the Magi, WOW! That had to confirm for them that something crazy, wonderful, and special was happening.
God, I hope that Mary and Joseph were blessed abundantly for their obedience and willingness. We don't get to hear much about Joseph over the years. Did he have a good life? What was it like to be the earthly "father" of the Son of God the Father? Did he fell honored or did he feel inadequate? What happened to him between the time that we hear about him when you were young and the time you began your ministry. Was he still around?
Then there is Mary. We have always been fascinated with Mary. The mother of God! Almost too much to wrap my mind around. One of my favorite moments with Mary is when after only one question to the angel who just told her that she was going to become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and give birth to the Son of God, the Messiah, she responds, OK, let it be done just as you have said it...Whaaaa? I am trying to imagine that. An angel comes and tells me something that sounds completely crazy and after one minor question of logistics, I say OK...I would love to think I am that obedient, but I don't think I could have done that. I am sure that is a big reason why you picked her, you knew that she could believe it and receive it (as they say).
Well, I have really gone on tonight God. I am simply fascinated by how you accomplished it all. There were a lot of easier ways that you could have come to be our Messiah and savior. Thank you for doing it the way you did. I LOVE YOU!
What God Said Tonight:
I needed to do it just the way that I did. There was no other option that could accomplish all that needed to happen. I needed and wanted to know the experience of life. I needed to understand and experience the joy and the agony of my children.
You have seen that I am a lot angrier more often in the "Old Testament" than I am in the "New Testament." The difference was my experience as a human. Experience breeds compassion. I understand the struggles. I understand so much better now.
I hear you asking, "But are you not all knowing? How or why would you need to learn more about what it is like to live as a human?" It is the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. You are right, I know everything. I knew how I created you. I knew how the sin with satan and the apple robbed you of so much that I wanted you to have. I know and knew all of that. I didn't know what it felt like to be betrayed by a friend. I did not know what it felt like to be cold and hungry. I did not know what it felt like to be sick.
Now I know. Now, I won't lose patience with you. Now, I will never stop giving you second chances to get it right. It was my absolute great pleasure to provide salvation for you. And now that i accomplished that, I am ready to wait as long as it takes for you to be all that I intended you to be. I love you daughter. You are precious and exactly what I hoped for.
My prayer:
Thank you God for your favor on my life today. You bless me and I am so grateful! GOD I GIVE YOU ALL THE GLORY AND HONOR FOR EVERY SUCCESS IN MY LIFE. Anything and everything that is good in me or that happens to me is because of you.
God, I understand that hard things happen in this life too. I understand that those things can bring me closer to you and make me stronger, better able to help others. I understand that for those reasons, I should not hate the hard times.
But, I LOVE THE GOOD TIMES!!! I love when you show off and show everyone what they can have and be if they just make a decision to have you in their lives. I love to brag on you. I love to see others brag on you. I love to see people who don't know you yet, get a little uncomfortable, not be able to refute the evidence in their face. LOVE IT!!!
God, I celebrate this most recent success not so much for the success itself, although it was great and very much needed. But, more so, I celebrate this success as a way of everyone around me seeing what your favor can do. I love you God and I don't plan on ever stopping bragging on you. You are too awesome not to brag about!
What God Said Tonight:
You are building your faith on solid rock foundation and not just the foundation, the walls the window casings, all of it is solid rock. You are building a faith that cannot be shaken and cannot be broken. You are building your house of faith to withstand the storm.
I tell you, you will need those walls of stone. The storm that is coming will be violent and raging. You will need the protection and the shelter of stone.
I don't see a roof on your faith. Without a roof, you will get wet in the storm. Finish your faith and you will be fully protected in the storm. Build a roof. I hear you asking me "how?" A roof sits on top of your house (your faith) and is connected but usually overhangs the edges a bit. Your roof is usually bigger than your house. That way, the storm that hits the roof rolls off harmlessly away from the house.
Your roof is your covering. It is the part of your faith that is bigger than what you can believe on your own. Your roof usually involves other people. People who can believe for you, pray for you, teach you. They are above you but not in a haughty way. They are there for your protection. I know authority has always been a struggle for you my daughter. This is different. Their only motivation is to keep you safe in the storm.
I have put the people you need in your life but you need to cultivate the relationships more. You need to be sure your roof is solid and without holes if you are going to stay safe and dry in the storm to come.
I love you daughter. I am sorry for getting parabley on you tonight but sometimes those pictures can say more than words. I love you. Get your roof on.
My prayer:
Amazing Father. I am feeling a little tired and whiny tonight God but I don't want to whine to you. I have done enough of that in my life.
I don't want to focus on the stuff I don't have tonight, but it keeps popping into my head. I want to stay focused on you and all of the wonderful things you do for me and provide for me. I want to focus on all the amazing things you have done in my life.
It kind of feels like a seesaw in my head and in my heart God. I know that I should, and I want to think on the good things. And, I do for awhile, but then I start thinking about everything that hasn't happened yet, and I get down.
And, now I realize, I am doing something that drives me crazy when other people do it. I tell you I don't want to whine and then I proceed to whine. God I am sorry. You deserve a lot better than me. You are so good. You are so perfect and I am so not. Thank you for loving me anyway. I would be worse than lost without your love.
Ok, shutting up now God. What is on your mind tonight?
What God Said Tonight:
You know that you don't have to be anything for me? You know that I love you just as you are? You know that I cover you in my blood because I don't expect you to be perfect or even good.
I am your God and I am your Father and I love you more than you can imagine. I have such joy waiting for you in the next season. You will have some of the big things that you are missing. You will see dreams fulfilled. You will be amazed at how effortless and wonderful it is. But, wait on my timing.
When you have all of it, when the dream is fulfilled, you will dream a new dream. You will have new desires. I will take care of those too. But realize, just like I said last night, you will always be waiting for something. That is the nature of a life of hope. If you had everything that you wanted right now, you would have nothing to believe me for. You would neglect me. Not on purpose, but you would.
I will shower you with gifts regularly. I will bring people into your life that will bless you beyond belief. I will provide opportunities that are unthinkable to you right now. And, when we have done all of that, we will do more.
Keep your eyes on me. Don't panic unless you see me panic. I love you daughter. Sleep well knowing that I really an in charge of everything and that I love you so very much.
My prayer:
Awesome God. I can't think of a single thing to talk about tonight. I love you, that has not changed and I pray it never will. I am grateful for a day of relative peace. I need your help with...well with everything. But that stuff is always true. What is on your mind God? Tell me how your day was. Is there anything you need? Is there anything I can do? Or, if you just need someone to listen, I am here. Whatever you want God.
What God Said Tonight:
I am waiting on a few things. There are some things that need to happen before the new season, so I am waiting.
I can see you making a face, but waiting for me is not as hard as it is for you. My experience of time is different than yours, Your life is but a breath in the grand scheme of time. However, it is a breath that is precious and wonderful to me.
Come and wait with me, keep me company while we wait. Let's enjoy the scenery in the meantime. There are sunsets and flowers to enjoy. There are people to talk to and get to know. There are people to help and to love. There are fun times to be had.
Waiting doesn't mean that life stops. You will always be waiting for something. Don't let it stress you out. I have been waiting for this time since the beginning of time and I am excited for where we are at and where we are going. You are living in a significant time and your life will have significance to eternity.
While we wait, I will protect you, lead you and guide you. I will make sure that you are protected and whole. I love you so much. Wait with me awhile. It won't be too bad. I promise.
