Selective memory...

My prayer:

Another wonderful day God. THANK YOU!

I do want to talk a bit more about the topic we started discussing on the hike. I am still confused about how selective my memory can be. When it comes to bad memories, painful memories, I fight every day to overcome them. I fight every day to not allow them to ruin my present and future. I fight every day to allow you to heal me. And still, they pop back up at the worst times. They are relentless.

The crazy thing is the exact opposite is true with good memories. Even something as simple as working out. When I am in the routine of it, I love it. It feels fantastic, my stress level is down, I feel good about myself. But let me get out of the habit and the memory of how good it is fades. I start to think, well it wasn't that good. I can put it off another day.

It is even true of those most amazing moments with you. You have shown me so many amazing things. You have given me experiences of your presence that are truly miraculous. But those times, I have to work at remembering those times. I have to bring them back to my remembrance and even then, I have to remind myself that, yes, it really was that amazing and wonderful.

I would really like it to be the other way around. It would be so much better if the good memories were more persistent and relentless and the bad memories faded in detail and significance. Can we do that God?

What God Said Tonight:

What do you think it is about the bad memories that keeps them around? You have an enemy that is constantly reminding you of them. You have a voice whispering in your ear every mistake, every hurt, every thing he can think of to accuse you. It is who he is and what he does.

The good memories. The times you and I have, I don't want to have to constantly remind you of them. I don't want them to lose their significance by constant repetition.

I also don't want you to get so tied up in those memories that you miss what I am doing for you right now. I am your comforter and your helper. I will remind you of the good when you need it but I really want to focus more time and effort on the good of right now. I want to focus on the good we will have tomorrow.

I don't see great benefit in getting stuck in the past, good or bad. I love you and we have a lot of good memories yet to make.