Want...

My prayer:

Another pretty awesome day God. Not what I was expecting and not what I planned for but pretty awesome anyway.

I am struggling a bit again tonight though. It is an old issue that we have talked about before. I don't know why I can't let go of it. I don't know why I continue to want something I know is not good for me.  I can clearly see how if I got it, it would result in a lot of negative consequences. Knowing those consequences is what keeps me from trying to go after it. But, it doesn't stop me from wanting it.

My desire doesn't listen to logic. It doesn't listen to reason. It just wants.

I ask for your help and I don't even know for sure what I am asking for. I could ask for wisdom, but I don't think that would change it. I could ask for self control but that is just more management of the problem, not a solution.

I think what I need is healing. Healing of whatever it is in me that makes me want what is no good for me. That is clearly self destructive and therefor not what you have put in me.

Thank you God for your healing power in every part of me.

What God Said Tonight:

I have given my life for you. I have given my son for you. You are more precious to me than the finest diamonds and gold.

I have placed you in a place of protection. I have placed you in a place of waiting. I have placed you here, not forever but for now so that my will has time to fully manifest.

Your desire comes from a dream I have in put in your heart. Your direction of your desire is misplaced in time. I have more to do. I have more to set into place. I will not delay. I will see that it is done.

In the meantime, trust, wait, know that I have got you firmly in my arms. I will see you fulfilled and whole with every blessing that I have carefully set aside for you.