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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

Break down the wall...

My Prayer:
Hi God. Not sure what to pray tonight. A long but good day. Thank you for favor with the meeting with the company from India. Thank you for blessing the works of my hands God.

What a privilege life is God. I know I get discouraged sometimes and think this is all a bit too hard, but when I really think about it, what a privilege to live this life, to be your hands and feet, to live out the destiny you have for me. That you trust me enough to serve, to love, to be what you have created me to be, as messed up as I can be, you trust me. Pretty amazing when I think about it.

I was listening to an old message from Bishop Ashe today. The message was about how we aren't meant to live this life alone. We aren't designed that way. You designed us in your image and you are in constant relationship. We are designed to be in relationship, with each other and with you. When life beat me up, I built up the walls thinking that would protect me. But really, that put me in more danger than anything that life ever threw at me. When I had the walls up the highest and was most isolated, that was when I really didn't want to live anymore. That was when I came so close to ending my life.

Thank you for bringing me through that and thank you for the amazing people you have put in my life. I have the best friends in the world. Friends that would truly do anything for me if I only ask. I have such an incredible church community, both here in Colorado and online throughout the world. I have amazing mentors in my life. I have a mom that loves me more than her own life. I have amazing young believers that you trust me to mentor. There is such an amazing richness and fullness in relationships and I almost forgot that. Thank you for reminding me and bringing me out from behind the wall. I am pretty sure I would not still be here if you hadn't done that. Thank you for saving my soul and my life.

What God said tonight:
You are welcome my daughter. You are blessed and it was my full pleasure to provide your salvation. I loved providing the way out. I loved the sacrifice for your freedom. You are saved, sanctified and whole in the blood that I shed for you.

It's not important to find the right words. It is not important to be right. It is important to live life from your heart. It is important to make those connections and maintain, cherish them. I have put the people in your life for a reason. I have put the situations in your life for a reason. Nothing in your life is an accident.

Rest in my arms tonight. Let me cradle you as you sleep and keep you close to my heart. You will sleep and dream of the good things I have for you. Rest in my love that you may stay strong for tomorrow.


  1. Beautiful,absolutely beautiful, Marilyn, brought tears to my eyes. I too once knew the pain of isolating myself from others. He was right and I was wrong: being in relationship with Him & others is far better than being alone, even if it means risking hurt and rebuff.
    GBU & keep up this wonderful work you have begun. The Lord of Lords will see you through!

  2. Thank you Pam! I love how God has been so faithful with a new word every night!! You are so wonderful and I am so thankful for you in my life!!!