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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.
My prayer:
Awesome God. My thoughts are all over the place tonight. I have 3 days to do what you have told me to do and i still have no idea how to do it. I still have no idea how to have that conversation. I feel like I will really be letting them down. I feel like I am being selfish. I don't know how to explain the decision to them since it doesn't make sense. All I can say is that it is what I believe you want me to do (or in this case not do). That is going to have to be enough.
God, I ask that you help me. Show me the opportunity to do this. Give me favor with them that they understand and are not hurt or angry. At this point, I have probably built this up to be much worse than it is but I need your help. Thank you Father.
What God Said Tonight:
I will help you but you will have to do it. When you were a child, young in your walk with me, I would have taken care of this for you. I would have made it so that it took very little effort from you other than agreement. But, you are not a child anymore.
You know me. You know that I never ask you to do something without a reason. It may not make sense right now, but you know from experience that someday it will make perfect sense.
You have heard me on this. You know what to do. You have to figure out how to do it. You have to take the action. I am here for you. I will help you with the words. I will help you to have the courage when you need it. But, take the first step. Like that time you jumped out of the plane, take that first terrifying step and the rest will fall into place.
Remember that they know me too. Remember that I may have already paved the way for this conversation. Remember that I am always working behind the scenes for you sake. Trust me. I love you daughter. Just grit your teeth and do it.
My prayer:
My amazing God. Another day of blessing and opportunities. I remember back to a day when I was worried that I would not have enough opportunities to serve you. I remember worrying that I might not have the opportunities, that I might not be "worthy" and capable. Those days seem like a lifetime ago but really, it was just a couple of years ago.
Thank you for showing me that opportunities to serve you, serve your people and to love are all around me every day. Thank you for showing me that the only "credentials" I need are to love you and to serve you. Thank you for showing me that I will never be "worthy" but when I rely on you, because you are so worthy, you can speak through me and your message gets to your people. God I am so grateful to be a part of your ministry. I love, love, love you!
What God Said Tonight:
I am glad you are in reflective mood tonight. I want you to reflect on a couple of other things. I want you to remember that everything you have ever done for me has started with one simple act of obedience. The big things that you have done, have simply been me taking that one simple act and growing it it into what I need it to be.
You are still getting a little stuck because you have these great visions for what you want to do but your reality is not matching your vision yet. Stop getting frustrated and remember the "small beginnings" that you have seen so many times. It is in the small beginning, the small acts of obedience that I can show up and magnify it. Small acts in my hands become great movements. I am the God of multiplication.
Please stop trying to create the full vision and instead, do the one thing I have in front of you right now. I will multiply it. I will grow it. Leave that part up to me. I love you daughter. You know that I tell you, Don't despise small beginnings. Small beginnings are truly great in that they show the miracle of my power to multiply. I love you. Trust me to be me.
My prayer:
What a perfect day God. Whoever first decided that having a day to be thankful was a good idea was a pretty awesome person! Thanksgiving is absolutely my favorite "holiday" especially when I get to spend it giving to other people. For me God, it is more a celebration of who you are and all that you do than even Christmas. Wow, I feel a little weird saying that but Christmas has become so commercial with so many things wrapped up in it that have nothing to do with you. On Thanksgiving, I get to concentrate on you, how grateful I am for all that you are and all that you do, and then I get go love on other people, give them food, clothes, prayer, and what ever else you bless us with.
I love it God! Thank you for the amazing team that you put together for the outreach today. Thank you for guiding us to the perfect spot to bless the most people. Thank you for the amazing warm weather. Thank you God for healing the two women that we prayed for.
God I pray that you help me to maintain the spirit of Thanksgiving every hour of every day throughout the year. I love you God and I am the most grateful for you in my life. Without you, nothing else is worth it.
What God Said Tonight:
Being grateful and giving thanks is a decision and it is one that is completely under your control. It is good to have days like today to remind you of that. It is good to remind you that you have a choice each day to recognize the blessing in the day or focus on the curse. Every day has some sunshine and some rain. Every day has growth and death. You choose what you focus on. You choose what you grow and make bigger simply by what you choose to spend your time thinking about.
Even in the worst situation, there is something you can choose to be grateful for. It is a better way to live. If you can do it, you will live a life of joy and not torment. You will live a life of peace and love and not strife and tension. Choose to be thankful and you will find more and more things to be thankful for.
I am your God and I will never let you down. I love you more than you can see or know but I love you. I have chosen you. Because I have chosen you, and because I focus on you, you become bigger too. Your dreams, your plans, your life becomes bigger because I have chosen you. Stay humble, stay grateful, and you won't believe where I will take you and what we will do next. Mmmm, love you sweet daughter. Go rest now.
My prayer:
Awesome God. On the night before Thanksgiving I am reminded of all of the amazing things you have done in my life and the lives of the people around me. God, thank you for everything and thank you for teaching me the value of living a grateful life.
It comes back to that same message you have been talking to me about for the last couple of years. Living for you and with you is a 24/7 thing. Loving people, loving you, being grateful, being kind, being merciful, prayer, these are all things that I am meant to live out every hour of every day of my life. God, thank you for teaching me how to live this way. It is awesome when I can manage to do it!
I love you God. I can never express my thanks to you but I will do my best everyday for the rest of eternity.
What God Said Tonight:
Wait. I have a present for you tonight. I have something I want to give you. I have a missing piece of your heart that I want to restore tonight. Your heart has been beaten up over the years. It happens in this sin ruled world. But tonight, I have something for you to restore your heart. I have something that, if you can receive it, will make your heart new again and ready to love like you have not known for a very long time, for as long as you can remember.
I am going to restore the love you had as a young child. Before it was damaged by sin. Before it was twisted. I want to restore to you the heart of your youth. I want you to love like a child again. With all of the trust and the hope that comes with a child's love.
I love you daughter. I am thankful for your heart. I am thankful that we get to live togerther for eternity. I have always loved you, but after tonight, you are going to understnad that love in a whole new way. Sleep tonight and wake up with a new heart. It is really that simple if you are willing to recieve it from me. Wake up renewed and reborn. I am yorus forever.
My prayer:
Great and all knowing God. The God of wisdom who knows the end from the beginning. God, I need your wisdom. There are some things in life where the decision is obvious. There is a right choice and a wrong choice. There is a choice that leads to you and one that leads away from you. Those choices, those decisions are obvious. I can choose the right thing and be blessed or choose the wrong thing and lose my blessing (at best) or be cursed (at worst).
But, what about all of the other decisions and choices we make everyday. The ones where I don't know at the time of the decision how it will turn out and therefore I don't know what the right choice is? What do I do about the decisions that I have made that I still don't know if it was the right decision or not.
God, you know that there are few things that I dislike more than being in "limbo" where I am not all the way in and I am not all the way out. And yet, I think I have put myself exactly in that position.
God, I need your help. What do I do. What do I not do. What is right and what is wrong in this situation. It is really unclear to me and my limited understanding. What do you want God. I will do whatever you want. Let me know what it is.
What God Said Tonight:
Does this feel familiar my daughter? We have been here before. What do I tell you when you are stuck? What do I tell you when you feel like you are stuck between two places, two seasons? What was the last thing I asked you to do that you have not yet done? Go, do it. You will be unstuck before you know it.
I hear your thoughts right now and you are saying "But God, I don't know how." I sure do hear a lot of "But God..." from my children.
I will help you when you ask. This thing that makes it seem impossible is nothing more than pride. You are holding onto the last pieces of "legitimacy" as recognized by religion. I am telling you right now that you do not need it. Where I am taking you has no need of titles. It has no need of positions and hierarchy. Let go and let me do what I have planned from the start. I will help you as soon as you are willing to do it. As soon as you are willing to let go.
Isn't it time that you jumped into this thing with both feet? Isn't it time that you really gave it your full effort? You know that you will be amazed at what I can do with it. But I need you focused and undivided. You are of two minds right now and it is making you crazy. Follow me fully in this thing, get your mind focused on what we are doing, it will be better I promise. And, if nothing else, you will know for sure if this is the right way or not. Once you commit fully, you will quickly know if you made the right choice or not.
Stop being paralyzed by the lack of knowledge and trust me to guide you in all that you do. I can redirect a wrong choice. I can't redirect you if you don't move. Just like you were taught so long ago. I can't steer a parked car. Get out of park and drive on my girl. I love you forever.
My prayer:
Awesome God. I did not do a very good job of showing your love to the world today God. I was so wrapped up in getting stuff done that I really kind of ignored people around me at best or snapped at them at worst. I hate it when I get that way. I hate that I don't usually realize it until later when there is not much I can do about it.
God, help me to love better. Help me to be a better reflection of you. God, don't let people be turned away from you because I am flawed. Help them God to see you in me and not the messed up me. I love you God. I love your people God. I am sorry I did such a poor job of showing it today. I will do better tomorrow with your help. Thank you Jesus.
What God Said Tonight:
I never ask you to be perfect but I ask you to be repentant. I ask that when you don't follow my best from you and you realize it that you turn from it and follow my will for you. That is what I need from you.
Don't try to cover your flaws. I have a purpose for them too. People are more drawn to you flawed than they are to someone who seems perfect. People don't trust perfect. It is why some have such a hard time believing in me. They cannot believe that anyone, any god, could be perfect. They continue to expect me to fail them.
Show people the truth of your life and I will show them the perfection of me. When they see that they don't have to be perfect to be my child and to be loved by me, they will know that they qualify for that love. Don't try to be perfect but strive to be transparent.
I love you daughter, even your flaws. Love on people tomorrow twice as hard and I will help you. Rest in my grace and mercy tonight knowing that my love for you never fails.
My prayer:
Mighty God. I am not sure what to pray about tonight God. Thank you for today. Today was good and much needed. I needed the rest, the hike, the book, all of it. I think I am ready to go after another week. Just feeling a little boring and mundane tonight God. Maybe I should stop talking and listen. What you say is always a lot more interesting than what I say. I love you God and am grateful for all that you are.
What God Said Tonight:
There is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is me. That hope is me. That passage into a new life and a new time is me. I am life and I am all around you. I speak and things come into existence. I breathe and there is life. I am the breath of life for you. I am not only your purpose but I am also the very essence of your life. The source of your life.
I will not allow your time on this earth to end before my appointed time for you. I choose when you, my child, comes to heaven. Your life and your death is completely in my hands. Trust me to know the timing and do not live in fear of it coming early. Trust me. I will protect you. i will heal you l I will strengthen you. I will do whatever is necessary so that you can achieve all that I have set out for you.
I will equip you for every last thing. Trust me. There is a lot left to do and most of it will be exciting and fun. I have such good plans for you. I love you so much. I waited for you for so long. I will not sacrifice one day of this life with you. Walk out in my love this week and be what I have called you to be.
