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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.
My prayer:
Awesome God. Today was a strange mixture of crazy favor, painful growth and opportunities to serve.
Why does growth always have to hurt? Maybe it doesn't "have" to, but it seems like it usually does. God, I would love it if you could just take out every ugly thing in me. I would love it if you could remove every bit of pride, every bit of meanness, every bit of judgement and anything else you run into that is not a reflection of you.
God I need your help with all of it. I am tired of thinking I am doing ok, just to run into another pocket of yuck in me somewhere. I know we are all sinners and me the most of all, but do we have to stay that way? I am tired of being less than my potential. I am tired of being less than the loving reflection of you that you tell me to be.
It hurts people God. When I have this crud in me and I don't get it dealt with, it hurts people. I don't even want to think about all of the people I have hurt over the years. Often unintentional, but does that matter to the person who was hurt?. I don't want to hurt anyone else.
Father God, help me to be a better person. Help me to grow faster and more completely. Help me to be all that you intend for me to be. Please and in Jesus name who made it possible, amen.
What God Said Tonight:
Your choice of focus is interesting tonight. Out of a day filled with favor and with joy you are focused on the one area of difficulty and the area of challenge. Did you take time to remember that I am with you always. That the same favor that I show you on your job covers you in every relationship and interaction you have.
You are not perfect. You hurt people sometimes. You are hurt sometimes. Next time you are hurt, remember this night and your recognition of your own imperfectness and the pain that it causes. Remember that you hate that you hurt people but that you do anyway sometimes. Give the person who hurts you in the future the benefit of the doubt. Give them the courtesy to believe that just maybe they aren't trying to hurt you out of spite. That just maybe, they are reacting out of their own set of issues and baggage that they are working on, but they are not quite there yet.
You are all in the same boat. You are all under the same condition. If you were perfect and never messing up, never hurting anyone, you would not be able to understand when it happens to you. You would be without flaw, but you would be without compassion. One day, we will live in a world that is based solely on love. When that day comes, you can live as the perfected being that you are. You can live and love perfectly.
Until that time, in this world, you are living in the same condition. You are all working on issues at some level. If you weren't, not only would you not be able to understand and have compassion for those that do struggle, but also you would become elitist and separatists. The "perfect" people would never want to let in the "imperfect" people. That is why pride is so dangerous. When you even think you are perfect, you tend to isolate and not let any one who is less than perfect in. If you shut out imperfect people, my message will never reach the people it needs to. If you shut out imperfect people you will never be able to complete my will for your life.
So, recognize your imperfection and know that even that is of use to me. Love in spite of your imperfectness. Apologize when you hurt someone. Forgive when someone hurts you. I love you just as you are and I am proud of you for wanting to be better.
My prayer:
My Lord God, what a momentous week. I think I will remember this week for a very long time. So many amazing things were started in the Kingdom of God this week. God I am in awe of you and all that you are doing. I am so incredibly grateful that you let me be a part of the amazing things you do. From the birth of new ministries, to the joining of ministries, to miracle healings, this week had a little of everything and you let me be a part of it all!
I don't think I have ever been more keenly aware that I don't deserve all that you do for me and all that you let me do, as I am right now. Thank you, gracias, merci, grazie, Dankegon, Danke schoen, Mahalo, Toda and Efharisto. Basically, thank you more than I can say. Never could I have imagined the life you have given me God. I can't wait to see what is next. Love you more than I thought was possible!
What God Said Tonight:
I told you this season was going to be a blast!
I love you so much. You are a flower that has fully bloomed. You are coning into your full maturity in this season. You are so beautiful and your petals are intricately colored and shaped. They have been shaped by every experience you have had. They have been colored by your responses. You have grown to a height you could not have imagined when you were a seed or even a bud.
There is more growth. New blooms to nurture. There will always be room to grow. But right now, I want to look at you. I want to enjoy the fragrance of you. I want to just stare at you for a while. You are so beautiful to me. You are perfect in my sight. So beautiful.
See yourself through my eyes and you will never doubt yourself again. See yourself through my eyes and you will never wonder if you are good enough. You will never wonder if you are pretty enough. See yourself through my eyes and you will walk in the confidence of the royal priesthood that you are. I love every part of you and I will cherish you forever.
My prayer:
What a great day God. Rest, a great hike, some great movies, great food and great family and friends. Life doesn't get much better than this.
Tomorrow is another big day. Our two churches officially becoming one. I ask God that you be in complete charge tomorrow. I pray that no weapon formed against us will prosper. I pray that the purpose and plan that you have for this merge is accomplished, that your will is accomplished on earth as it is in heaven.
Guide me God, in what you want me to do and what you don't want me to do. Help me God to be a blessing to every person I encounter and a blessing to you. Show me the needs that you want me to fill and give me the wisdom of how best to fill them. I remain your servant God and I remain grateful for the opportunity to serve.
What God Said Tonight:
Pretty formal tonight my daughter. I hear and will honor your prayer. I have already been working on this one for awhile now. You are a part of something that will be remembered for a long time, on earth and in heaven.
My angels are standing ready to battle and to praise. They are ready for what comes. They are ready for the spiritual fight and they are ready for the celebration that follows.
Both are equally important you know. The battle is important but you have not fully overcome until you celebrate, until you praise me and celebrate what we have done. That is when the true and full victory is realized.
So often you fight the battle and then you move onto the next battle and you forget to celebrate. We are going for full and complete victory my daughter.
My sweet warrior daughter. Fight in my army and celebrate at my table. I love you more than you will ever know. Let my love strengthen you. Let my armor protect you and let my angels accompany you.
My prayer:
Awesome day God!! Thank you. You showed up, just like you said you would, and took care of it all. Despite my fear, despite my inability, you showed up and made it great!
God I love you and I just want to get closer to you. I want to know you better. I have a hunger and desire to know everything about you. I want to see heaven. I want to see Jesus sitting at your right hand. I want to spend time with you, talking and walking in the garden.
I have been awfully busy "doing" and not spending enough time just being with you. I get another sabbath tomorrow. Let's spend it together, just you and me. Show me more of you God.
What God Said Tonight:
You have seen heaven. You have seen it in your dreams and you have seen it every day as my kingdom is manifest on earth. Every time someone is saved, every time someone is healed, every time someone trusts me in their life, you see heaven. Every time you see someone love for no obvious reason, every time you see someone give unselfishly, you see heaven.
Heaven is here on earth, you just have to look for it. It is in the eyes of a trusting child. It is in the arms of a really good hug. It is in your heart. Heaven lives inside of you. Heaven is the atmosphere that I live in. It is infused with my Spirit. You are infused with my Spirit.
You know more than you realize. You have seen more than you have recognized. I love you and we will spend the rest of eternity getting closer. There is no end to me so there will always be more to learn and understand about who I am. But we are in no rush.
Let's take a hike together tomorrow. I love when we do that together. Let's spend that time away, you and me. I look forward to your undivided attention. It will be good to just hang out and appreciate you tomorrow. I love you and I will always be with you, no matter where your attention is, I am always with you. I have got you in my arms. Rest.
My prayer:
Awesome, amazing, excellent, Father God! What a great day!!! Thank you for the immense favor you give me!!!!
Right now, I am so tired, I can barely sit up though and we have another big day tomorrow. I ask God for your help tomorrow. I am nervous about the filming. I am afraid I won't do a good enough job. You have shown me what this can be and I want it to be so good for you. Please, help me, anoint me, speak through me so your people are blessed. In Jesus name God. None of me and all of you.
Now, I better stop and listen to you before I fall completely asleep. What is on your mind?
What God Said Tonight:
You are on the edge of something great but you will have to step out in faith. Understand that I am not counting on your skill or your talent in this next assignment. I am fully prepared to speak through you. I am fully capable and prepared to get my message out there but trust me. Give in to me. Relax and let me take the reins. You will know it is me. You will get your mind quiet and let me take it.
I want this next project even more than you It is going to be a huge blessing. It is going to help so many people. I need to get this message out. I am actually glad that you are nervous and that you recognize that I am asking you to do something that you are not "good" at. This one needs to be all me. I need you to be my hands and feet but I need you in complete submission to me and my will so we can get it right.
Trust me to show and fulfill the vision I gave to you. It is going to be a blast and you will be shocked at the reach and the effect that it will have. I have such great plans for you. Sometimes those plans mean that you need to relax back and let me do my thing.
I love you and am glad that this day is finally here. Your faith will serve you well and will be increased as you step out of the comfortable and into my grace. I love you. Rest now and trust me.
My prayer:
Awesome Teacher, King, Lord, God, Father, Redeemer, Brother, Friend, Husband, Protector, Lover, Peace, Joy, Light, Hope, Healer, Provider, Creator, Judge, I love you for all that you are God! You bless me just by being who you are. To have a God like you in me, directing my life, loving me...I don't deserve it but I am so thoroughly grateful. What is on your mind tonight? What do you want to talk about?
What God Said Tonight:
I speak peace to your troubled heart tonight. You have a lot of unspoken needs tonight for you and the people around you. I hear the burdens of your heart and I will speak life into each situation.
To you, I speak peace. Always remember it is not your responsibility to fix things. That is my job. Your job is to call me. It is kind of like when you have a problem with your plumbing, a serious problem not just a plugged toilet that you can plunge your way out of but something really serious. You wouldn't expect that you would be equipped to fix it. You would call a professional and have them fix it. Consider me the plumber.
For all of those situations that are bigger than what you can fix, call me and let me repair the situation. You are feeling overwhelmed by the needs tonight and you are feeling that way because you are taking on the responsibility to fix it. Stop it, call on me.
I appreciate your worship and I revel in your praise. I have heard both and because of the door opened by your praise, I have also heard the burdens on your heart.
I love you daughter. Remember to let me do my job and you do yours. You rest now knowing that I will take care of every last issue.
My prayer:
My amazing God. Father, it is so easy for me to get caught up in what people think of me. I know that I shouldn't care what people think about me, that it is only what you think of me that really counts. I know that in my head but I forget it sometimes in my heart.
I get so tied up in making people happy and judging my worth based on what they think. It is a loser's game. I know that looking in the mirror that other people provide will always end badly. I pray and ask God that you help me exchange the mirror of other people's opinions with the mirror of who you say that I am.
I know that I am nothing without you. But with you, I am that royal priesthood, the head and not the tail, above and not beneath, more precious than gold or rubies. Help me God to remember what you think of me and who I am in you.
Help me to see the true reflection. And God, where there are things in me that I need to change, show me those too. Show me what you want me to change so I can be a better reflection of you. Show me where there is pride, fear, unforgiveness and anything else that you don't like. Purify me God and make me what and who you need me to be. I am all yours God. Thank you for hearing me tonight.
What God Said Tonight:
What a great prayer and what an easy request to grant. You my daughter are all of those things through me and more. You are so precious to me I cannot express it to you in this world. My love for you transcends your ability to experience it. You are perfect in the covering of my blood.
Are there things that we can change that will make this life easier on you and allow us to do more while you are still on the earth? Absolutely. We will continue to work on those things.
The self esteem issues that you are struggling with tonight have a root of pride to them. You were beat down for many years and had to learn to fight for your own self worth. Now you feel like you still have to fight to prove your worth. You don't. You have your worth in me now. You don't have to fight to make yourself or others believe it. You can rest knowing that your worth is solid and cannot be challenged. Once you can truly accept that, you won't worry so much about what others think. Freedom from that worry will allow you to truly grow and advance.
Once you don't have to prove your worth, you will find yourself doing more and achieving more than you ever thought was possible. Once you stop putting energy into proving your worth, you will have so much extra energy to accomplish things that really matter. You will have more to give to me, to my people. You will have more left for yourself.
I love you daughter. Just as you are, I love you. I also love that you want to continue to grow. Without growth there is death. And you my girl have everlasting life. Grow, live, thrive and I will be with you every step of the way.
