My prayer:
You were on the cross. When I was looking for you, you were on the cross. When I wondered if you were still with me, you were on the cross paying for my sin. Paying the debt I owe and cannot pay. God, one sacrifice that covered all of us. Every person ever born or ever will be born is covered by that one sacrifice as long as they call you Lord of their life. Sometimes those simple truths that I have known my whole life take on a whole new level of meaning.
Thank you for all that you said last night. I am beginning to understand it better. I am not quite there yet, but I am closer than I was. Thank you for your patience and willingness to hear me out and to try to help me to understand.
You are not a stranger to pain, torture, betrayal, abuse or death. Every terrible thing that I have experienced, you have experienced. If preventing those horrible things was the best thing to do, you surely would have prevented experiencing them yourself. But you actually chose to go through it all. You chose to be betrayed, beaten, humiliated and killed. You knew that the benefit, the possibility for salvation of every person, was worth the pain. You were big enough to see that the outcome justified the need to go through it all. It was worth it to you because of your love for us. You would go through anything to save us. You choose to go through it all because of your love for us.
Before I worry too much more about why you didn't take me out of my abusive situation, before I worry too much about the other suffering I see, I think I need to spend some time thinking about the abuse and death that you chose to go through just for me. Would I make the same choice if I was given it? If I knew that going through all that I went through was the only way to help someone else, would I have chosen to go through it? I don't know, but it does help to know that you will always use those struggles, battles, abuse to help someone else. It does help to know you never waste a hurt.
I remember when Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane before he was arrested. He asked a few times that "this cup be taken" from him, but always followed up with "Your will be done." He prayed so hard that he sweat blood. I prayed pretty hard as a little girl, but I never sweat blood! Your answer to Jesus prayer was not to take away the coming torture and death but to send angels to help him. As I look back, that is what you did for me. You didn't take me out of the situation but sent people and angels to help me through it. Not that I am comparing my struggle to Jesus' torture, that would be ridiculous, but our prayers and the outcome of the prayers were similar. So, I got the same result, the same help that you gave to your only begotten son...You say that I have first son rights...I think this is the first time that I really have an example of that in my life! God you are cool.
I love you so much God. Thank you for all that you are showing and teaching me. I pray God that tomorrow's services throughout the world are blessed and on fire with your Holy Spirit. I pray our worship blesses you!
What God said tonight:
I don't have much to say tonight. Like David, you encouraged yourself tonight! Your openness to this process is so good and refreshing. I am so glad that we are finally taking care of this. It has been a wall between us for too long.
Your life is blessed and a blessing. You will be amazed at what is to come. Your future is great and you will look back on these times with fondness, as a beginning. Do not disparage small beginnings. They can be the most beautiful things in the world.
You are a blessed daughter of the most high God and you will never want for anything. You will have everything that I have promised you. You will have great joy in your life. You will have every need met. You will have my love evident in you every moment of every day of your life.
Your family is blessed, your friends are blessed, your animals are blessed. You are blessed coming in and going out. You are blessed in the city and blessed in the country . You will conquer every place and every situation that you are in because the victorious God lives in you. I will be your victory, your help and your strength.
Your love for me is precious. Your worship is a sweet fragrance to me. Your faithfulness is a testimony of your love for me. I love you with everything that I am, now and forever. Good night my dear.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Why I don't trust...
My Prayer:
Hi God. I have really put this off tonight. Mainly because I don't know what to say. You asked me a pretty specific question last night, why don't I trust you? Well, I have thought about it a lot today. I have always told myself that it isn't that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't trust myself to hear you correctly or accurately all of the time. But, if I am honest with myself, that is a cop out. I tell myself that so that I can make it ok to not trust. I tell myself that because I know I should trust you and when I don't I feel guilty. Instead of dealing with that, I couch it in nice acceptable church language and wiggle my way out. I guess that is over as of tonight.
The question remains, why don't I trust you? I should trust you. You are a good God. You have never done anything but love me and help me. I am alive today only because of you. I am in my right mind only because of you. You have never done or said a single thing that should make me not trust you, so why?
I'm not sure that I know God. I do trust that in the end, everything will work out to my good. That you are in charge. But I also know that I have had to go through a lot of crap over the years. I also know that I have watched people I care about, good people, go through a lot of crap. Maybe it comes back to that age old question, "If you love me how could you let me go through that?" How could you let me be molested, raped, beat, tortured, rejected? How could you allow millions to die in flooding? How can you allow people and land to be consumed in fire? How can you let people lie about me and talk badly about me? How can you let it all happen? If you truly love me and want the best for me, how can you watch it all happen? Doesn't it break your heart? Doesn't it make you want to intervene?
I remember so many days and nights as a little girl praying, begging for you to get me out of it all. Year after year I didn't know what else to do. I tried to run away, but I was so little, I didn't know how to take care of myself. God, you have shown me how to forgive the people who abused me in my life. You are showing me how to forgive myself. I guess I didn't realize until tonight that I need to forgive you. I think that is the root though God. I think it is hard for me to trust you in that day to day way because a part of me is still that little girl, sitting at the lake, hiding, praying and begging you to take me away only to have to go back and face it all for one more day, month or year.
God, I am sorry I have held this against you all this time. God help me to forgive. I love you.
What God said tonight:
Thank you so much for getting that out. It is so past time that we deal with this one and now that it is out in the open, we can take care of it. You are not alone. So many people have these same doubts. Life in this sin riddled world is hard! There is no other way to say it. The things that happen in any one given life can be tragic on so many levels.
I wish I could explain to you in a way that you could fully understand. I was there with you at the lake. I was always with you. I never left you. I would never let you go through anything alone. Now, I can hear your thoughts, that knowing that isn't really much of a comfort. In some ways to know that I am right there and can intervene but don't or don't seem to, can seem even more cruel.
Maybe I can explain it this way, your life is bigger than your tragedies. Your life and purpose are bigger than you. I have a world full of people who are hurting as a result of the sin that runs rampant in the world. I need people who can reach out and help these people to know me and find a better way to live. My people, you, could never reach or help anyone if you never went through anything yourself. But, I was always there. I was always there to make sure that you were strong enough to handle it. That you had my strength to lean on and keep you from permanent damage. There is a reason why so many people who went through the things you did end up not in their right minds and tormented by memories. They did not have me in them to help. You were chosen at such a young age, because I needed to be with you and keep you strong throughout.
I will always be with you. I tell you I will never give you more than you can handle, ever. It was not some coincidence or luck that you survived those years. It is not coincidence or luck that you have such a desire to minister and to help people who are hurting. You have had a plan on your life before you were born.
You ask if it broke my heart, more than you can know. The tears you cried were just the overflow of mine. I hated to see you in such pain, so afraid. I never wanted that for you. But, choices were made by others that led to you being hurt. I can't stop them from making those decisions or the consequences of them, but I can strengthen and help you through it. I can and will bring you through everything that ever comes against you.
You can rely on me. You can trust me. You can know that you will never be so broken that I can't put you back together. Count it all joy sweet daughter. Remember each time I brought you through and know that will always be the outcome of struggle, pain, abuse, torture in your life. It rains on everyone, but I will bring you out and dry you off every time. Come sit by my fire and get warm tonight. I love you.
I hope this helps some tonight. We will continue to talk this out until you have no doubt left. We will work through this together. I promised you I would help you and I ALWAYS keep my promises. ALWAYS. You are precious and amazing and I love everything about you. Come back here tomorrow and we will continue to work this out.
Hi God. I have really put this off tonight. Mainly because I don't know what to say. You asked me a pretty specific question last night, why don't I trust you? Well, I have thought about it a lot today. I have always told myself that it isn't that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't trust myself to hear you correctly or accurately all of the time. But, if I am honest with myself, that is a cop out. I tell myself that so that I can make it ok to not trust. I tell myself that because I know I should trust you and when I don't I feel guilty. Instead of dealing with that, I couch it in nice acceptable church language and wiggle my way out. I guess that is over as of tonight.
The question remains, why don't I trust you? I should trust you. You are a good God. You have never done anything but love me and help me. I am alive today only because of you. I am in my right mind only because of you. You have never done or said a single thing that should make me not trust you, so why?
I'm not sure that I know God. I do trust that in the end, everything will work out to my good. That you are in charge. But I also know that I have had to go through a lot of crap over the years. I also know that I have watched people I care about, good people, go through a lot of crap. Maybe it comes back to that age old question, "If you love me how could you let me go through that?" How could you let me be molested, raped, beat, tortured, rejected? How could you allow millions to die in flooding? How can you allow people and land to be consumed in fire? How can you let people lie about me and talk badly about me? How can you let it all happen? If you truly love me and want the best for me, how can you watch it all happen? Doesn't it break your heart? Doesn't it make you want to intervene?
I remember so many days and nights as a little girl praying, begging for you to get me out of it all. Year after year I didn't know what else to do. I tried to run away, but I was so little, I didn't know how to take care of myself. God, you have shown me how to forgive the people who abused me in my life. You are showing me how to forgive myself. I guess I didn't realize until tonight that I need to forgive you. I think that is the root though God. I think it is hard for me to trust you in that day to day way because a part of me is still that little girl, sitting at the lake, hiding, praying and begging you to take me away only to have to go back and face it all for one more day, month or year.
God, I am sorry I have held this against you all this time. God help me to forgive. I love you.
What God said tonight:
Thank you so much for getting that out. It is so past time that we deal with this one and now that it is out in the open, we can take care of it. You are not alone. So many people have these same doubts. Life in this sin riddled world is hard! There is no other way to say it. The things that happen in any one given life can be tragic on so many levels.
I wish I could explain to you in a way that you could fully understand. I was there with you at the lake. I was always with you. I never left you. I would never let you go through anything alone. Now, I can hear your thoughts, that knowing that isn't really much of a comfort. In some ways to know that I am right there and can intervene but don't or don't seem to, can seem even more cruel.
Maybe I can explain it this way, your life is bigger than your tragedies. Your life and purpose are bigger than you. I have a world full of people who are hurting as a result of the sin that runs rampant in the world. I need people who can reach out and help these people to know me and find a better way to live. My people, you, could never reach or help anyone if you never went through anything yourself. But, I was always there. I was always there to make sure that you were strong enough to handle it. That you had my strength to lean on and keep you from permanent damage. There is a reason why so many people who went through the things you did end up not in their right minds and tormented by memories. They did not have me in them to help. You were chosen at such a young age, because I needed to be with you and keep you strong throughout.
I will always be with you. I tell you I will never give you more than you can handle, ever. It was not some coincidence or luck that you survived those years. It is not coincidence or luck that you have such a desire to minister and to help people who are hurting. You have had a plan on your life before you were born.
You ask if it broke my heart, more than you can know. The tears you cried were just the overflow of mine. I hated to see you in such pain, so afraid. I never wanted that for you. But, choices were made by others that led to you being hurt. I can't stop them from making those decisions or the consequences of them, but I can strengthen and help you through it. I can and will bring you through everything that ever comes against you.
You can rely on me. You can trust me. You can know that you will never be so broken that I can't put you back together. Count it all joy sweet daughter. Remember each time I brought you through and know that will always be the outcome of struggle, pain, abuse, torture in your life. It rains on everyone, but I will bring you out and dry you off every time. Come sit by my fire and get warm tonight. I love you.
I hope this helps some tonight. We will continue to talk this out until you have no doubt left. We will work through this together. I promised you I would help you and I ALWAYS keep my promises. ALWAYS. You are precious and amazing and I love everything about you. Come back here tomorrow and we will continue to work this out.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Trust...
My prayer:
Sweet father who loves me so much. Can I just spend some time telling you how wonderful you are? You are so patient, you never give up on me. You wait it out and trust that I will come to my senses and come to you eventually.
God thank you for the struggles and the lessons learned through them. I would be a pretty boring and shallow person if I never went through anything. Thank you for the trouble in life, not because of the trouble itself, I don't like the trouble, but I love the things I learn from it. I love that each thing, each struggle, each storm, each attack, each wrong decision, leads me back to you eventually. And once I am back, I am stronger, more loving, more merciful and more understanding than I ever was before. Thank you for using every single thing in my life to make me a better person and to bless the people in my life. I thank you that everything you bring me through will be one more thing that I can help someone else through someday.
God today was good. Busy, but good. Isn't it funny that now that I remembered what you told me to do, I am suddenly so busy that I don't have time to do it. But I commit tonight God to spend a portion of everyday working on the new training program about how to hear from you. Even if it is only 10 minutes, I will spend some time on developing it. I ask for your help in getting it done God.
God I pray over my family and friends. You know their situations, their struggles, their needs and I pray God that you move in their lives in a whole new way. I pray God that your power, direction and love be evidenced in their lives. I pray God that you comfort and love them so they know that it is you.
I love you God. You are truly my joy.
What God said tonight:
What is different about tonight? There is a great weight that is lifted. There is a pressure, a false expectation that you are no longer being tormented by. You are free, not just for today but from now on. You will not have to worry about that feeling, that weight, that restriction coming back. We are done with that one forever.
You will of course have new struggles in the future and we will get through those too. There is a way to live where the struggles truly just roll off your back. There is a way to live at such a great level of trust that you are never without my joy or my peace. It isn't easy in some ways but in some ways it is the easiest thing in the world.
Practice trust. Practice trusting. When you truly trust me and know who I am, how much I love you, there is no need for fear, pain or worry. There is no room for those things in the presence of true trust.
Can you learn to trust me like that? Can you try? I will help... I love you more than I loved living. I loved you so much, I gave up living for you. What more do you need to trust me? What questions do you have? It is ok, I can take it. Think about it daughter. Think about the things that keep you from trusting me wholly and let's talk about it tomorrow. Me + you = true love!
Sweet father who loves me so much. Can I just spend some time telling you how wonderful you are? You are so patient, you never give up on me. You wait it out and trust that I will come to my senses and come to you eventually.
God thank you for the struggles and the lessons learned through them. I would be a pretty boring and shallow person if I never went through anything. Thank you for the trouble in life, not because of the trouble itself, I don't like the trouble, but I love the things I learn from it. I love that each thing, each struggle, each storm, each attack, each wrong decision, leads me back to you eventually. And once I am back, I am stronger, more loving, more merciful and more understanding than I ever was before. Thank you for using every single thing in my life to make me a better person and to bless the people in my life. I thank you that everything you bring me through will be one more thing that I can help someone else through someday.
God today was good. Busy, but good. Isn't it funny that now that I remembered what you told me to do, I am suddenly so busy that I don't have time to do it. But I commit tonight God to spend a portion of everyday working on the new training program about how to hear from you. Even if it is only 10 minutes, I will spend some time on developing it. I ask for your help in getting it done God.
God I pray over my family and friends. You know their situations, their struggles, their needs and I pray God that you move in their lives in a whole new way. I pray God that your power, direction and love be evidenced in their lives. I pray God that you comfort and love them so they know that it is you.
I love you God. You are truly my joy.
What God said tonight:
What is different about tonight? There is a great weight that is lifted. There is a pressure, a false expectation that you are no longer being tormented by. You are free, not just for today but from now on. You will not have to worry about that feeling, that weight, that restriction coming back. We are done with that one forever.
You will of course have new struggles in the future and we will get through those too. There is a way to live where the struggles truly just roll off your back. There is a way to live at such a great level of trust that you are never without my joy or my peace. It isn't easy in some ways but in some ways it is the easiest thing in the world.
Practice trust. Practice trusting. When you truly trust me and know who I am, how much I love you, there is no need for fear, pain or worry. There is no room for those things in the presence of true trust.
Can you learn to trust me like that? Can you try? I will help... I love you more than I loved living. I loved you so much, I gave up living for you. What more do you need to trust me? What questions do you have? It is ok, I can take it. Think about it daughter. Think about the things that keep you from trusting me wholly and let's talk about it tomorrow. Me + you = true love!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Breakthrough...
My prayer:
God you are so incredible. Thank you for amazing friends who have been praying for me. Thank you for laying me on their hearts. It is awfully hard for me to ask for help, even when I know I need it so thank you for asking them for me!
Today was truly a breakthrough day! During my run this morning I got to thinking, "Ok, so I am stuck. What have you (God) taught me to do when I am stuck? You say, 'What is the last thing I told you to do that you haven't done yet.'" and, eureka! I realize the last thing you told me to do was combine the training techniques with teaching people how to live for you. I started it, but it was harder than I thought and I procrastinated and then just stopped working on it.
So today, I took every spare minute and started putting together the first outline and it is so cool! You just started tying it all together and I see how it can all work together, along with the blog, Zyxter and the whole sheebang! You are SO COOL! And all I needed to do was start doing what you told me to do. That is when it all started coming together.
I feel like I am back in the groove. Back where you intend me to be. The trapped/stuck feeling is gone! There is a new freedom and purpose returned to my life! THANK YOU!!!!! It is sure good to be back!
God I pray for all the amazing people who were praying for me that you just return the blessing in their lives. I pray God that you provide us all with this kind of direction, passion, dreams that make life worthwhile. I LOVE YOU for being you and I WORSHIP YOU for who you are and I PRAISE YOU for the amazing things you do for me!
What God said tonight:
It was there all along and I am so glad you see it now. This season is going to be a lot of work and a lot of fun!
Keep paying attention and don't take my words lightly. I don't tell you things just to hear myself. I tell you to help you. You are my precious daughter and I so want you to live the life I intended for you. I celebrate with you tonight in your breakthrough. Good job getting on the other side of the wall.
I love you and I will continue to equip you. I will continue to give you everything you need physically, spiritually and emotionally each day. I don't have much more to say tonight. Now that you are listening and acting on my direction, we can just be together for a time tonight. Just enjoy hanging out.
Do you know how I see you? Do you know how beautiful you are to me? Do you know that you are every dream I ever had? Do you know that I created you especially for me? Do you know that you are a Royal Priesthood, the head and not the tail, above and not beneath? Do you know who you are to me? Do you know that you are the apple of my eye? Do you know that I have carved you in the palm of my hand? Do you know that you are what I love, long for and spend all of my time thinking about?
You are that important to me. You are my whole focus. You, everyone of you, are the children of the Most High God. You are created in my image and because of my great love for you. I loved you before you even were and I will love you throughout eternity.
Let me be your everything so I can express my love for you. Let me sing you to sleep and give you peace. Let me be your everything. Let me be the breath in your lungs. Let me be your Lord, saviour, redeemer, healer, teacher, father, creator, and the lover of you soul. Let me love you.
You rest now, we have more for tomorrow.
God you are so incredible. Thank you for amazing friends who have been praying for me. Thank you for laying me on their hearts. It is awfully hard for me to ask for help, even when I know I need it so thank you for asking them for me!
Today was truly a breakthrough day! During my run this morning I got to thinking, "Ok, so I am stuck. What have you (God) taught me to do when I am stuck? You say, 'What is the last thing I told you to do that you haven't done yet.'" and, eureka! I realize the last thing you told me to do was combine the training techniques with teaching people how to live for you. I started it, but it was harder than I thought and I procrastinated and then just stopped working on it.
So today, I took every spare minute and started putting together the first outline and it is so cool! You just started tying it all together and I see how it can all work together, along with the blog, Zyxter and the whole sheebang! You are SO COOL! And all I needed to do was start doing what you told me to do. That is when it all started coming together.
I feel like I am back in the groove. Back where you intend me to be. The trapped/stuck feeling is gone! There is a new freedom and purpose returned to my life! THANK YOU!!!!! It is sure good to be back!
God I pray for all the amazing people who were praying for me that you just return the blessing in their lives. I pray God that you provide us all with this kind of direction, passion, dreams that make life worthwhile. I LOVE YOU for being you and I WORSHIP YOU for who you are and I PRAISE YOU for the amazing things you do for me!
What God said tonight:
It was there all along and I am so glad you see it now. This season is going to be a lot of work and a lot of fun!
Keep paying attention and don't take my words lightly. I don't tell you things just to hear myself. I tell you to help you. You are my precious daughter and I so want you to live the life I intended for you. I celebrate with you tonight in your breakthrough. Good job getting on the other side of the wall.
I love you and I will continue to equip you. I will continue to give you everything you need physically, spiritually and emotionally each day. I don't have much more to say tonight. Now that you are listening and acting on my direction, we can just be together for a time tonight. Just enjoy hanging out.
Do you know how I see you? Do you know how beautiful you are to me? Do you know that you are every dream I ever had? Do you know that I created you especially for me? Do you know that you are a Royal Priesthood, the head and not the tail, above and not beneath? Do you know who you are to me? Do you know that you are the apple of my eye? Do you know that I have carved you in the palm of my hand? Do you know that you are what I love, long for and spend all of my time thinking about?
You are that important to me. You are my whole focus. You, everyone of you, are the children of the Most High God. You are created in my image and because of my great love for you. I loved you before you even were and I will love you throughout eternity.
Let me be your everything so I can express my love for you. Let me sing you to sleep and give you peace. Let me be your everything. Let me be the breath in your lungs. Let me be your Lord, saviour, redeemer, healer, teacher, father, creator, and the lover of you soul. Let me love you.
You rest now, we have more for tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Pay attention...
My prayer:
Awesome God. You seemed quiet today or maybe I was too wrapped up in everything happening to hear you. There was a lot of crazy, potentially very bad things that happened today. Thank you for taking care of them all. Maybe that was it, you were so busy dealing with the crazy attacks to spend much time chatting.
Thank you for always being my protector. It's not that bad things don't happen, but every time, if I just take a breath, you work it out. I went at today with about 4 hours of sleep but prayed for the supernatural help and you kept me alert and able to do my job all day. The thing I worked on all morning was wiped out in a matter of seconds when they moved the database to the new server but you showed me a way to recreate the work in a matter of 15 minutes. The air conditioning at the office went crazy and it was near freezing, literally, in my office all day but you reminded me that being a good Coloradoan, I had a fleece coat in my car. It kept me warm until they fixed the ac, around 5:00 tonight :). Then there was the fire alarm...etc. etc. etc. but through it all, you worked it out, as always.
What would I do without you Lord? I ask the question but I don't really want to know. I am so grateful for you God in my life and even more grateful for your continual promise to never leave me or forsake me. I love you, thank you and worship you God. When it comes down to it, all the rest is just details. You are the real reason, purpose and joy in my life.
What God said tonight:
Sweet daughter, it is good to spend some quiet time with you tonight. It was a busy day and with so much happening, it can be hard to for you to hear me clearly, but you heard me on some level. You trusted me to handle it all. You listened when I sent solutions.
Remember that I don't always communicate in the same way. I love these times each night, and at other times, where we get to talk directly to each other. I want to do more of that with you. However, I can also use a sermon, people, a donkey, whatever I want, to speak to you. Sometimes I will speak to you through the circumstance.
Pay attention.
You keep hearing people say to expect me in unexpected places. I am doing a new thing and you will find me moving and active in places that you have not seen me before. You will begin to move and serve in places you have not been before.
Be alert.
Don't sleep walk your way through life. I have a lot to show you, teach you and for you to do. We still have a wall to get through, but we are taking down bricks everyday. Before you know it, we will be on the other side.
While I am working in new places and new ways, that does not mean we have to give up the old secret places. Tonight, you and me, rest with me again. Rest in my love again. Worry over nothing! Pray over everything! Trust and rest.
You keep thinking you need to be doing more. I promise I will tell you when to move. I promise you will not miss the next new thing or the one after that or the one after that. I love you baby. You are so deep in my heart, you will never get out. Take my peace that I give to you.
Awesome God. You seemed quiet today or maybe I was too wrapped up in everything happening to hear you. There was a lot of crazy, potentially very bad things that happened today. Thank you for taking care of them all. Maybe that was it, you were so busy dealing with the crazy attacks to spend much time chatting.
Thank you for always being my protector. It's not that bad things don't happen, but every time, if I just take a breath, you work it out. I went at today with about 4 hours of sleep but prayed for the supernatural help and you kept me alert and able to do my job all day. The thing I worked on all morning was wiped out in a matter of seconds when they moved the database to the new server but you showed me a way to recreate the work in a matter of 15 minutes. The air conditioning at the office went crazy and it was near freezing, literally, in my office all day but you reminded me that being a good Coloradoan, I had a fleece coat in my car. It kept me warm until they fixed the ac, around 5:00 tonight :). Then there was the fire alarm...etc. etc. etc. but through it all, you worked it out, as always.
What would I do without you Lord? I ask the question but I don't really want to know. I am so grateful for you God in my life and even more grateful for your continual promise to never leave me or forsake me. I love you, thank you and worship you God. When it comes down to it, all the rest is just details. You are the real reason, purpose and joy in my life.
What God said tonight:
Sweet daughter, it is good to spend some quiet time with you tonight. It was a busy day and with so much happening, it can be hard to for you to hear me clearly, but you heard me on some level. You trusted me to handle it all. You listened when I sent solutions.
Remember that I don't always communicate in the same way. I love these times each night, and at other times, where we get to talk directly to each other. I want to do more of that with you. However, I can also use a sermon, people, a donkey, whatever I want, to speak to you. Sometimes I will speak to you through the circumstance.
Pay attention.
You keep hearing people say to expect me in unexpected places. I am doing a new thing and you will find me moving and active in places that you have not seen me before. You will begin to move and serve in places you have not been before.
Be alert.
Don't sleep walk your way through life. I have a lot to show you, teach you and for you to do. We still have a wall to get through, but we are taking down bricks everyday. Before you know it, we will be on the other side.
While I am working in new places and new ways, that does not mean we have to give up the old secret places. Tonight, you and me, rest with me again. Rest in my love again. Worry over nothing! Pray over everything! Trust and rest.
You keep thinking you need to be doing more. I promise I will tell you when to move. I promise you will not miss the next new thing or the one after that or the one after that. I love you baby. You are so deep in my heart, you will never get out. Take my peace that I give to you.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Freedom to soar...
My prayer:
Father God. You know that I love you. You know that I want your will accomplished in my life. You know that I am trying to trust, to find joy in each moment, to appreciate the present like you have said, but I am not doing a very good job of it.
So often these days I just want to pack up and take off. Just go, anywhere. Just go and experience more than what I see every day on the same streets, in the same city, in the same state, and in the same country I have lived my whole life. I usually start getting edgy when I don't get out of the country at least every 6 months and it has been over a year now.
I want to just pack up and head for Argentina, Brazil, Israel, Greece, Germany, Ireland, Switzerland, Australia, Africa, anywhere, for a month, a year I don't know. Just to see new faces, new cultures, new food, I crave the new.
But, then I think about all you are doing in my life right now. There seem to be so many beginnings, things that could turn into something great, and I don't want to miss it. I'm just all over the place again God.
Maybe I am just too focused on me again. I sure sound that way. Maybe if I get the focus off of me I will stop feeling so on edge? I remember that season where every time I prayed I wouldn't allow myself to use the words, "I" or "me." I should probably do that again for awhile. Because truth is, I'm kind of tired of hearing myself talk about me.
So, for now, I will stop and ask that you speak to me God. Let me know what's on your mind and what you want.
What God said tonight:
Awesome father is what you so often call me. Yet you need to remember that is who I am. I am your father, I have your best interest at heart. I will always protect, lead and guide you. I will always love you.
You cannot miss what I have for you. Do you think I am so weak that I can't find you if you leave the country for awhile? I have things for you here, but we can do this anywhere. Experience life, do what you want. Follow my word to keep yourself from sin and the consequences of sin, but otherwise, have a blast!
I want you to have joy in your life. Your days of travel are not over by a long shot. You will still yet go to places you cannot even dream of right now. There are people in countries who are preparing a place for you right now and they don't even know it is for you. I have a grand plan for the world and a great future for you in it.
Stop thinking that you can thwart that plan by something like taking a trip or even moving somewhere else. The only way that you can stop my plan for your life is by telling me no, by saying that I am no longer the Lord of your life. Thinking that anything else you can do would stop my plan is pompous and self righteous and unworthy of my daughter.
Make your plans, keep me as Lord and enjoy the ride. I love you and will not let you fall through the cracks. You are too important to me. You are not a caged bird, you are free like an eagle. Soar my daughter, soar.
Father God. You know that I love you. You know that I want your will accomplished in my life. You know that I am trying to trust, to find joy in each moment, to appreciate the present like you have said, but I am not doing a very good job of it.
So often these days I just want to pack up and take off. Just go, anywhere. Just go and experience more than what I see every day on the same streets, in the same city, in the same state, and in the same country I have lived my whole life. I usually start getting edgy when I don't get out of the country at least every 6 months and it has been over a year now.
I want to just pack up and head for Argentina, Brazil, Israel, Greece, Germany, Ireland, Switzerland, Australia, Africa, anywhere, for a month, a year I don't know. Just to see new faces, new cultures, new food, I crave the new.
But, then I think about all you are doing in my life right now. There seem to be so many beginnings, things that could turn into something great, and I don't want to miss it. I'm just all over the place again God.
Maybe I am just too focused on me again. I sure sound that way. Maybe if I get the focus off of me I will stop feeling so on edge? I remember that season where every time I prayed I wouldn't allow myself to use the words, "I" or "me." I should probably do that again for awhile. Because truth is, I'm kind of tired of hearing myself talk about me.
So, for now, I will stop and ask that you speak to me God. Let me know what's on your mind and what you want.
What God said tonight:
Awesome father is what you so often call me. Yet you need to remember that is who I am. I am your father, I have your best interest at heart. I will always protect, lead and guide you. I will always love you.
You cannot miss what I have for you. Do you think I am so weak that I can't find you if you leave the country for awhile? I have things for you here, but we can do this anywhere. Experience life, do what you want. Follow my word to keep yourself from sin and the consequences of sin, but otherwise, have a blast!
I want you to have joy in your life. Your days of travel are not over by a long shot. You will still yet go to places you cannot even dream of right now. There are people in countries who are preparing a place for you right now and they don't even know it is for you. I have a grand plan for the world and a great future for you in it.
Stop thinking that you can thwart that plan by something like taking a trip or even moving somewhere else. The only way that you can stop my plan for your life is by telling me no, by saying that I am no longer the Lord of your life. Thinking that anything else you can do would stop my plan is pompous and self righteous and unworthy of my daughter.
Make your plans, keep me as Lord and enjoy the ride. I love you and will not let you fall through the cracks. You are too important to me. You are not a caged bird, you are free like an eagle. Soar my daughter, soar.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Experience life...
My prayer:
God, we have been talking most of the day today. Thank you for all of your direction and help today. Thank you for showing yourself in unexpected places today. Thank you for fresh perspective and amazing friends.
God, I am not sure what is next, but I trust you and trust that you will always do what is best for me. That sounds all nice and good now, but you know that most of today, I haven't been in this place. Most of the day I have been in a state of limbo that was really uncomfortable and I complained about it quite a bit.
What helped the most today was reading something you told me last week that I had forgotten about. That is what is so great about you, about your word and your words. Because it is alive and active, your word can bring great revelation at one time and the same word can bring great revelation to an entirely different situation at a different time.
You are amazing God. How do you always know what I need? Not what I want but what I need? How do you always know what is best? Probably part of that all knowing thing. I have a God that I can trust to always know what is best and who will always act in my best interest. That is very cool. Love you God. I wait in anticipation for your surprises this week.
What God said tonight:
Sweet daughter, you are in a better position, a better place than you know. Things are moving in the spiritual realm that you don't see yet but will be evident later.
Life is not an event, it's an ongoing experience. There is no "arriving." You will never be "there" or be all that. You will always be becoming... Your life will always be happening. You keep waiting for the big "aha, I've arrived!" There is no arrival but you are always in the process of arriving. Experience the process.
Every ending is a beginning and every beginning is an ending. In between is life. Find the joy in this moment. Find the purpose in this moment. Continue that in each moment of your life and you find yourself happy most of the time. Focus on the donut sprinkles, not the donut hole...you said it yourself. Focus on what is there, not on what isn't there yet.
You will be so blessed in this life. You will see such amazing things. Yes, wait with anticipation, but don't expect the waiting or anticipation to stop once the thing you are waiting on arrives. Once it is here, you will just start waiting on the next thing.
Enjoy the process because, really it is all process.
I love you and will never leave you. That is a constant truth you will never need to doubt. Sleep well tonight. You are in my perfect plan for you life. Trust me, don't look at the storm, trust me.
God, we have been talking most of the day today. Thank you for all of your direction and help today. Thank you for showing yourself in unexpected places today. Thank you for fresh perspective and amazing friends.
God, I am not sure what is next, but I trust you and trust that you will always do what is best for me. That sounds all nice and good now, but you know that most of today, I haven't been in this place. Most of the day I have been in a state of limbo that was really uncomfortable and I complained about it quite a bit.
What helped the most today was reading something you told me last week that I had forgotten about. That is what is so great about you, about your word and your words. Because it is alive and active, your word can bring great revelation at one time and the same word can bring great revelation to an entirely different situation at a different time.
You are amazing God. How do you always know what I need? Not what I want but what I need? How do you always know what is best? Probably part of that all knowing thing. I have a God that I can trust to always know what is best and who will always act in my best interest. That is very cool. Love you God. I wait in anticipation for your surprises this week.
What God said tonight:
Sweet daughter, you are in a better position, a better place than you know. Things are moving in the spiritual realm that you don't see yet but will be evident later.
Life is not an event, it's an ongoing experience. There is no "arriving." You will never be "there" or be all that. You will always be becoming... Your life will always be happening. You keep waiting for the big "aha, I've arrived!" There is no arrival but you are always in the process of arriving. Experience the process.
Every ending is a beginning and every beginning is an ending. In between is life. Find the joy in this moment. Find the purpose in this moment. Continue that in each moment of your life and you find yourself happy most of the time. Focus on the donut sprinkles, not the donut hole...you said it yourself. Focus on what is there, not on what isn't there yet.
You will be so blessed in this life. You will see such amazing things. Yes, wait with anticipation, but don't expect the waiting or anticipation to stop once the thing you are waiting on arrives. Once it is here, you will just start waiting on the next thing.
Enjoy the process because, really it is all process.
I love you and will never leave you. That is a constant truth you will never need to doubt. Sleep well tonight. You are in my perfect plan for you life. Trust me, don't look at the storm, trust me.
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