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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Beauty in the struggle...

My prayer:
What a mess today was God!  Thank you for reminding me all day that the struggles and problems were not as bad as they could have been and that nothing happened that isn't fixable.  Thank you God for helping me to to be able to laugh at the ridiculousness of how everything just went wrong.  It was about the time that I dumped the entire full diet Coke onto the passenger side floor of my car that I realized that this was one of those days that I could either get REALLY frustrated or I could just laugh and know that tomorrow would be better. 

I don't think I could have realized that even just a few years ago.  Thank you God for all that you have taught me.  Thank you for always stepping in and reminding me of the lessons you have taught me.  Thank you for the reminders and thank you that I don't have to get stuck in the struggle as often as I use to. 

I love you God, so much!  I ask God that tomorrow be better than today.  I pray God that you help me to be better tomorrow than I was today.  I pray God that you always help me to be better tomorrow than today for as long as there is a tomorrow. 

What God Said Tonight:
Perspective is a pretty amazing thing.  No matter how bad a thing looks, from a different vantage point, it is not so bad.  Take my death for example.  When the disciples heard that I was going to be beaten and killed they got very upset and started saying that it couldn't happen.  I had to stop them because from my perspective, although the sacrifice would be painful, it would also be my greatest gift and provide a way for my children to come back to me.  To me it was beautiful.  To them it was tragic. 

Find beauty in every situation.  I will turn every situation for you good, so find the good in it.  Find the beauty in it.  When you struggle, not only do you learn something but it gives you one more thing that will help you help others.  That is the beauty in each struggle. 

I love you daughter.  I was with you today and talking to you all day but the best part was you were listening.  Even in the deepest frustration, you were still listening for me and you were still turning to me. 

That  is the key to getting through any problem no matter how big.  Listen and turn to me.  I have the answer for every problem.  Learn to listen in every situation so you can have the answers that you need when you need them. 

Every day is a lesson and every lesson is a step to another level of satisfaction and maturity in me.  Stay close to me and I will take you to such great heights you cannot imagine.  I love you so much.  You are mine, beautiful, wonderful and all that I hoped you would be.  Rest now, recover.  You are safe in my arms.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Darkness or light...

My prayer:
Awesome God, my father, teacher, healer and provider.  God, my thoughts and emotions are kind of all over the place tonight.  So much so, I think I just want to shut up and listen to you. 

I find it so amazing (not in a good way) that yesterday I can be so assured of your guidance and direction in my life and tonight be filled with doubt.  Doubt about where I am going, who I am, if I have any value. Whoever first said, "you can't trust your feelings" really knew what he was talking about. 

So, instead of listening to me whine, complain and wallow in my own self doubt, I want to hear what you have to say tonight God.  What is on your mind and you heart?  I love you God.

What God Said Tonight:
It isn't really important you know.  Your feeling, your doubt, your worry, all of it doesn't add up to much in the scheme of things.  Regardless of all of that, I will accomplish my will in your life, because you asked me to.  I will have the final say.  I will lead you into a great future, and no amount of doubt, self criticism, or insecurity is  going to stop me. 

I am your God.  I am your Lord. I AM.  My sovereign will is in charge of your life.  So, you can choose to remain in this dark place of self doubt that you have landed in tonight.  Or, you can get up, shake it off and walk into the brilliant light that is the life that I have ordained for you. 

It truly is that easy.  It is a choice like any other choice.  What do you want?  Do you want me or do you want darkness?  I already know the answer but you need to understand that is truly the question you face tonight.  If you choose to remain with the self doubt and the dark criticism on yourself, you are choosing darkness.  If you choose to remember all that I have promised you and all that I have said about you, you choose me and you choose light. 

Remember that you are the head and not the tail, you are above an not beneath, you are more than a conqueror, you are destined to succeed, you are the apple of my eye and you are etched in the palm of my hand.  You are the beloved of the most high God.  You are the servant of the God of the universe.  That is who you are. 

Will you choose to believe it or will you choose to believe the lie.  Will you choose to believe me or will you allow yourself to drown in your own emotions and the lies for the devil?  Make your choice.  It is an easy choice when you look at it clearly. 

I love you so much daughter and I can't allow you to spend one more minute in the place of darkness.  Come with me back to the light and the future and promise I have for you. Do not be discouraged.  You are mine.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Guide you always...

My prayer:
God, my God.  You are so amazing.  I never get tired of reveling in your presence.  I never get tired of being with you God. 

There are times, like now, when your plan, your guidance, your direction seem so clear in my life.  When everything, good, bad and indifferent, seem to be working together seamlessly toward a path and a goal that only you really understand.  Everything working together for the same purpose.  Everything coming together and achieving more than I could ever imagine. 

God thank you for your plan on my life.  Thank you for working everything for my good.  Thank you God that even those things that were meant to hurt me, you turn them for my good.  I give you all the glory and all the honor God.  Every good thing that is happening, everything that is getting done is only because of you.  I promise not to forget. 

I love you God.  Thank you for being my guide, my trainer and my father.  I will trust you and follow you forever.

What God Said Tonight:
"I will guide you always" is a promise that I  intend to keep my daughter.  I will guide you always.  You don't have to figure out this life on your own.  I am here, just continue to follow. 

When you follow me, do it the way I tell you to, it is so easy.  I have literally made a way for you.  I have a plan on your life that I have been dreaming about since the beginning of time.  Your purpose was born long before you were.  Your place, your  calling, your job, whatever you want to call it, has been waiting for you.  Waiting for you to be ready. Waiting for you to let go of the world and trust in me.  It has been waiting and now you are here. 

I will absolutely continue to work everything for your good.  It is another promise and I am the promise keeper.  I will not let you down.  I will fulfill every promise I have ever made.  I won't forget a single one.  Even the more obscure ones.  Even if every single person on the earth forgets about that promise, I will fulfil it anyway because I am the promise keeper. 

I will never leave you and we will do this thing together.  I love you my sweet daughter.  Rest for another packed day tomorrow.  More good stuff to come!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Rejection...

My prayer:
Awesome Daddy.  God how I love you.  You are my everything.  God I love that you love me no matter what.  I love that you provided a way to love me even at my most unlovable. God, that you loved me so much that you provided away to cover every mistake, every ugly part of me just so you could love me without reserve. Just so we could be together forever.  God, that is love.  That is what matters.

I am feeling  a bit rejected tonight God.  Why is that I tend to focus on the people who reject me more than the hundreds and thousands of people you put in my life to love me?  I should know by now that not everybody is going to love me, but a part of me is still not ok with that.  I just get to thinking, what's wrong with me? Or maybe it isn't me.  I don't know. 

God, I pray that you change anything in me that needs to change.  I ask God that you help me to focus on your love for me and the love of people you have put in my life.  I pray God that you help me learn what I need to learn from the people who don't like me, don't want me around and heal the hurt that causes in me.  Help me God to love no matter how they feel about me.  Help me to always reflect your love. 

God help me not to unknowingly reject others.  God help me to always see that inner value that you have placed in each person.  Help me to see them with your eyes.  God, help me to never make anyone ever feel like I do tonight.  I love you God.  Thanks for listening.

What God Said Tonight:
Rejection is hard, but always remember, they rejected me too.  If they rejected me, what makes you think they won't reject you too? 

Your prayer is right, you need to focus on the love not the rejection and you need to always love in spite of it all. 

Remember when I was on the cross.  In the midst of ultimate betrayal, all I could feel was love.  My whole purpose in going through it was because of love. 

You don't need people to accept you, to love you in order to love them.  You
don't need it because your love is not dependent on them.  Your love is dependent on me, and, I will never run out of love. 

You are going to see a lot more rejection in your life.  You will see a lot more love too but you will see a lot of rejection.  You need to decide to always respond in love.  Give people their space, but never stop loving.  I have put in you the love that never fails.  You will hurt, but love anyway.  I love you sweet daughter and I tell you dear, love anyway.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Show up...

My prayer:
My God, Father, teacher, healer, provider, King and love of my life.  You are my everything and I remain in awe of you. 

God, sometimes I get worried.  What if some night I show up and I can't hear you?  What happens if I have stuff going on or I get too distracted or whatever?  I don't want to let people down.  I try not to think about the incredible people that you draw to the blog while I am praying, mainly because it kind of freaks me out.  I mean, who am I that thousands of people come to see what you and I talk about.  There's the thing God, they don't come to see what I talk about, they come to see what you talk about, which is exactly how it should be.  But, what happens if some night, I don't hear you? 

I know you are always here with me and you will never leave me or forsake me.  I know you have promised me that and I believe it.  However, I know from my past, that there are times when I hear you clearly and times that I don't hear you so clearly.  What happens if one of those times when I don't hear you as well happens during our nightly meetings? 

I don't know why I am so worried about this tonight God, but it has been on my mind and I figure it is about time I bring it up to you and see what you have to say about it.  I love you God. I am honored to be able to meet you every night.  I love that you talk to me.  I don't mean to be selfish, but please don't ever stop.

What God Said Tonight:
What are you so afraid of tonight?  Do you still think that some part of this is coming from you?  It isn't.  It is my prompting every night and my voice responding. 

I will continue to do this every night as long as you are willing.  As long as you show up, I will be here.  Will there be some night when you don't hear me? Maybe.  And, if it happens, you will be as transparent about that as you have learned to be about every other part of your life. 

You have told me repeatedly that you give me your whole life.  I am using your life to teach others and help them.  I will continue as long as you are willing.  When you choose to stop, we will stop.  While you are willing, we will continue. 

I love you daughter and I love your willingness to meet with me, to share to listen.  I am constant.  I will not leave.  I am here any time you look for me.  I am always here.  I can't not be here.  It is not possible.  I am omnipresent.  I am always present. 

You worry that you won't hear me because there have been times in the past when you haven't heard my voice.  But, those days are over.  Remember that new commitment you made several months ago?  The result of that was there would be no more roller coaster in our relationship.  Have you not noticed a new stability since that time?  That stability is a direct result of your commitment to me. 

We have reached a point that if you stop hearing me, it will be so bothersome and so painful, you will stop and do what ever you have to get back.  You won't allow the distance that you have allowed in the past.  Now that you know how good it can be between us, you won't go back.  I know it and trust but you need to trust it too. 

Remember what you learned way back in Prison Ministry.  Your job is to show up.  I will take care of the rest.  You don't have to worry, just show up.  I love you daughter.  I am yours forever.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Spending time...

My prayer:
Mighty and awesome God.  I love you God. I cherish you. I am so grateful for you, I can never express it enough.  I am also so very tired tonight God.  I don't know what to say or what to pray; but, I love you and I always want to hear what you have to say no matter how tired I am.  What's on your mind?

What God Said Tonight:
My daughter.  I love you and our time together should never be a burden.  If you are tired, you should rest.  But I am glad that you want to spend time with me anyway.  Doing this, spending this time together at night, the last thing before you rest is good.  It gives us a chance to review the day. 

I like being the last thing you think about each day.  I like being the first thing you think about each day.  I love that you keep me in your mind and your heart every day.  You are my desire, my love and the apple of my eye.  I don't have one moment that you aren't on my mind.  You are my focus and my love, the target of my love. 

When you want to spend time with me, it just makes my heart swell.  It makes me so proud to be your Father.  It makes me proud to know you.  It may seem simple but your simple desire to want to be with me means more to me than anything else you can ever do. 

I love that you serve me and my kingdom. I love that you are constantly looking for ways to bless and be a blessing.  But more than any of that, your desire to spend time with me, talk with me, listen to me and love me, that means more than all the rest put together.  It is simple but it is true. 

We can share our love story for all eternity.  Every day getting closer.  Can you imagine how wonderful our relationship will be after ten thousand years of loving each other?  I can. 

I love you daughter.  Rest now and keep me in your mind and in your heart.  Let me be a part of everything you do and everything you are.  Keep me close.  I love it when you do that.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Fear and Sin...

Picture by Anthony Stuart:z https://www.flickr.com/photos/stuant63/2255781557
My prayer:
Mighty God, you are doing so much in my life right now.  I truly stand in awe.  You told me that there would be a time, a time that I have waited for so long, and that in that time, I would look around me and say, "Whoa, how did I get here."  You were SO right!  I look around right now and see all that you are doing, all the amazing opportunities to minister, the favor at work and the amazing relationships you have brought to me and I say, "Whoa, how DID I get here?"  I am so grateful God.  I love these seasons when things are all happening so fast, when you are opening every door, when life just seems so blessed.  These are the truly good times God and I thank you for them.

But God, I also have to ask your forgiveness tonight. The woman at the bus stop by the gas station who asked for money, God, I lied to her.  I don't even know why.  When she asked me for money, it was dark, I was alone and I felt vulnerable.  At first I told her I only had my credit card for gas.  Then you gave me another chance when she came back and asked if I was sure.  Then I lied again and told her I only had a couple of dollars and gave her three dollars saying that was all I had when I had another $5 in my purse.  God, what is $5?  Why did I hold back?  I feel so small. I am sorry God.  I was not a good reflection of you.  I am sorry that I let fear stop me from being a blessing. Mostly God, I am sorry that I lied. God, I will do better in the future.  Forgive me God and I pray that you find a way to provide for her tonight.

What God Said Tonight:
My daughter, I have said that if you repent and ask for forgiveness you are forgiven.  You are forgiven, now forgive yourself. 

You learned something valuable tonight.  You learned that fear can make you do things that you otherwise wouldn't do.  You learned that your generosity  can be overwhelmed by fear.  Remember that lesson and the next time fear tries to take a hold of you, be ready.  Be ready and do the opposite of what fear is telling you to do. 

Fear is not from me.  I have not given you a sprit of fear.  I gave you my strength, my protection and a sound mind.  I gave you my son and I give you my Holy Spirit to guide you.  Listen to my voice in those situations.  I will tell you the right thing to do and I will never let you walk into danger if you listen to me. 

Don't listen to fear.  It will always lead you down the wrong road.  It will always lead you away from me.  There is no fear in me.  There is no fear in the you that I made you to be.  Fear is a corruption that corrupts you.  Banish it from your life.  It has no place in my daughter. 

Trust me daughter and do not fear.  There is a reason I said that so much throughout the Bible.  Fear is one of the more effective weapons that your enemy uses against you.  Stop letting him.  Rely on me for the strength, protection and peace that I provide and let that banish the fear. 

I love you daughter.  Remember this night and do it differently next time.  That is all I ask, turn from your sin, call on me and I will forgive.  I will remember the sin no longer.  You are washed clean in the blood of my son and I love you more every day.  Be whole and move on.  Love you so much. Sit with me a little longer tonight.  Just be with me and let me heal you. Mmm, that is good.