God is waiting...

My prayer:

I am not sure what to talk about tonight God. There have been so many really wonderful things and so many horrible things all happening at the same time over the last week. I am left feeling kind of ambivalent tonight. 

Funny, I just heard my old Pastor's voice in my head saying "You can't live by our feelings!" And, as usual, he is right. 

Thank you God for being my rock, the solid place I can turn to when the world and my emotions are all over the place. You are amazing and I am crazy about you. What is on your mind?

What God Said Tonight:

I am at the door waiting for you. I am waiting for you to be ready to come out and follow me. We have places to go and things to do but not until you are ready to come  out. 

I understand why you have been hiding. This next phase is no joke. You should not come out before you are ready but when you are, when you are truly ready, come on out and I will be here to take you to the next phase. 

I am waiting but you know that I am patient. I would rather wait longer and know you are ready than for you to rush this thing. 

My sweet child. I look at your face and I see an innocence that does not reflect all that you have seen. I see an innocence that can only be gained through my blood. You are so beautiful and precious to me. I will wait for you.

Things are NOT OK...

My prayer:

My God the Rock. People are eating each others' faces. Mothers are eating their children's brains. Young girls carving horrible messages into their skin and others are making fun of it. Things are not okay. 

You warned us God that things would get bad in the last days. I did not realize you meant it would get this bad. And, apparently, it will get worse. It is overwhelming sometimes God. 

I was yelling that song about "When I get afraid I go to the Rock" all the way home, hoping I would believe it and find comfort in you. I don't know why it is all hitting me all of a sudden but it is. I don't know how to handle a world getting worse than this. 

I think most of the time I just get through the day, trying not to think about the suffering. I do my little piece here and there but I know it is not enough. I know that there are people starving all over the world. I know that there are people being beaten to death. I know that there are crazy things like people eating off other peoples' faces. And, I know there is nothing I can do about any of it. So, I try to forget. That only works for awhile though. 

God, I really need your help tonight. I really need to hear you. I need you to make some sense out of a senseless world. I need to understand how to love in the midst of this insanity.

What God Said Tonight:

Not everything that starts ugly, stays ugly. The caterpillar turns into a butterfly but in the process it is covered in mucus and an ugly pod. Sometimes the greatest beauty comes out of ugliness. 

Remember when I said that I did not come for the healthy but I came for the sick? I came to the world because it was sick, not because things were all going great. I came because of the pain, the suffering, the craziness. I am here today because of the need. 

Some of my most beautiful children, with the sweetest hearts and the most generosity of spirit ahve come out of the darkest and ugliest places. Look beyond the fear. Look beyond the ugliness and see what they can be in me. Love and see what they turn out to be. 

Love, my love can change even the ugliest situation into something beautiful. Don't look at the situation or the people for what they are right now. Expand your vision and love them into what they can be. 

I will always protect you, no matter how crazy it gets. Do not be afraid. The craziness will not harm you. Keep loving your way through, even when it is hard.

Daddy love...

My prayer:

Amazing Father. It was so good to just be back in your presence today. Not doing anything special, just hanging out together. Going for a run together. Listening and singing worship together. 

I hope it was a good Father's Day for you God. I hope you know that when I mess up, when I get off track, it is not because I don't love you. It is only my lack. My love for you will never end. forgive me for any moment when I forget to show you. 

What God Said Tonight:

I know your heart my sweet daughter. I know your love. I know your struggles and I know your pain. I knew you before you were born. I know every cell of your body and have counted the hairs on your head. 

I know your love and I cherish it. Your love is so beautiful and is coveted by many, including me. Your love is a reflection of me in you. That is why people are so drawn to you. They are drawn to the reflection of me in you, the love in you. 

Don't ever hide the love. Don 't ever let circumstances and struggles mask the love. If you do nothing else for the rest of your life, love. Let your love show, it is the most beautiful part of you.

Seek God...

My prayer:

Awesome God. I don't know how I let it happen again but I got so caught up in achieving, growing, doing things for you that I forgot the most and only really important thing. I forgot that the point is love. I forgot that you don't care what I accomplish if I don't first love. Love you and love people. It is such a simple command, such a simple instruction, and somehow so easy to forget. God forgive me for getting off track again. Thank you for giving me another chance. I will really try to do better.

What God Said Tonight:

Sweet daughter, I will always lead you and guide you. I can get you back on track. But, you have to be seeking me to find me. You have to look for my path. You have to look to me so I can show you the way. 

That was why tonight was important. When you stopped looking to the world and to your own emotions for answers and just started seeking me, when you started seeking to learn more about me, the answer became clear. 

That is what I need from you. Seek me. When things get off track, when you know that things aren't quite right, seek me and I promise I will be right there to lead you out. 

You learned or were reminded of an important thing tonight. Keep that knowledge as precious. Cherish it. Rehearse it. Remember it as you go to sleep tonight, as you go out tomorrow. Don't lose hold of it. I love you now and forever.

Get out of God's way...

My prayer:

God you are sovereign. You are in charge. Thank you for reminding me of that tonight. 

I had my agenda but I didn't check it out with you. When I stopped trying to figure it out and just started loving, that is when you stepped in and started changing peoples lives. God, I just get carried away sometimes. I get so driven to see you move in people's lives that I try to force it and that NEVER works. I am sorry for trying to push my agenda tonight God.

What God Said Tonight:

Your goals, your dreams are my dreams. How we get there, now that is where we need to talk it out sometimes. I have a way to get us there that will be a blessing to you and the people around you. Your way may sometimes seem like the most efficient or best way, but there are things and aspects of it that you don't see. 

Just like I was telling you last night, I get the bigger picture. That is why you have to trust and listen to me to lead you through. I will always guide you. 

Don't push but always move forward. Don't force it but always be making progress. I love you daughter and I love to see you minister in my name. 

Relax and do what comes natural. That is going to be the right thing to do. I have put in you the desire and ability to follow me without much effort. It will be the thing that feels right. You knew early on tonight something was off. That is the cue to stop and let me take the reins again. 

And, at the end of the night, people were blessed and people were changed in my name...that was our goal. Goal achieved. Now go rest.

When things don't work out...

My prayer:

Kind of sick of hearing my own voice God. What is on your mind? I am hear to listen to anything you want to say. Love you like crazy.

What God Said Tonight:

I have so much that I could tell you. As long as you are willing to listen, I will talk. 

There is a lot I could teach you but not all of it is things that you want to hear. Sometimes, the things I have to tell you are hard to hear. Sometimes what I need to teach you is that things don't always go the way you think they should. 

Think of Noah. Do you think he wanted me to wipe out all of humanity? No, there were people and things that he cared about. Do you think he wanted to build a boat when no one had ever had need of a boat before? No, he did not. It was not how he thought things should go. 

But sometimes, the plan and the purpose is greater than what you can see. Sometimes I have to do what needs to be done even though you won't understand. I do it all for your good. Please believe me that I always do everything for the good for you. I don't do things to harm you. 

I will always bring you through each and every struggle. I will always protect you. But, please trust me Trust me during the times when things don''t seem to be working out how you expected. Know that there is something that you may not see that I had to take care of.  I promise, it will all turn out ok. Actually, it will turn out perfectly. I promise.

Not good enough...

My prayer:

Hi God! I have been putting this off tonight because I am not sure what to talk about. I have been on a bit of a roller coaster today. 

There were great new opportunities, like partnering with the Mission, which was awesome. When I stay focused on that, I am excited and grateful. Then, all of a sudden, I start doubting myself. I start thinking, who am I to think I can do any of this. I start thinking, I am not talented enough or good enough to do the things that you are putting in front of me. Then, I start telling myself to shut up, because it isn't me doing it anyway, it is you God. Then I feel bad because I yelled at myself which is a pretty stupid thing to do. So, I make myself think about all the amazing opportunities again and I get excited...and the cycle begins again. 

It is times like this that I feel like a bit of a basket case God. Do other people do this to themselves. Can you teach me how to stop it?

What God Said Tonight:

You ask if other people do this to themselves. Check out my written Word and you will see many examples of people doing exactly that. It isn't fun but there is purpose in it. 

Each time you go through this cycle, you learn how to lean on me more. The fact is you are completely right, you do not have what it takes to do what I have called you to do. If you did, you would not need me and would do it on your own. That would mean that you would get the glory and not me. That would mean that people would want to follow you and not me. That would put you in a very dangerous position filled with pride and ego and would result in your destruction. 

I will not let you be destroyed. that is why I will always call you to do more than you are capable of on your own. I will always call you to do things that you need me in order to complete them. That way, you get to be a part of amazing things but I get the glory. That way, you get to have great purpose and achievement in your life but it won't destroy you. That way, you get to help A LOT of people but you get to be you. 

When you begin to realize that I have called you to do more than you are capable of, celebrate and know that you have truly found my purpose and plan for you. Get excited to know that I will show up and I won't let you fall. Get excited and know that this is my perfect plan. I love you daughter. Trust me.