Self critical...

My prayer:
Incredible Father God.  You are amazing.  Thank you for your miracles today.  Thank you for your healing miracles.  Thank you for your powerful protection.  Thank you God for everything.  I love you so much God. 

While I am so grateful for all that you are doing, if I am honest, I have been a little uneasy all day today God.  I am not even sure why.  I find myself being super critical of myself today.  I having been thinking about the things that I have done and have been telling myself I am not good enough. 

Now, there is a whole lot of "I" in those sentences and I realize that is a big part of my problem today God.  I have been way too focused on me and not spending enough time concentrating on others. I can get pretty selfish sometimes.  And then, I beat myself up for being selfish! Not a very helpful cycle God. 

Why is it I know the things I should and should not do and yet sometimes I have such a hard time doing the things I should and not doing the things I should not do?  Was it Paul who asked that same question?  Is there hope?  Do we, do I ever, learn enough that I don't have to continue to repeat patterns that are no good for me or the people around me? 

God, I ask for you help.  I ask God that you help me to stop this self centered and self critical stuff.  It isn't any help and it just depresses me and makes me less effective.  I pray God that you help me get my focus back on you and your people.  I pray God for your help to be a better person tomorrow than I was today.  In Jesus name, amen.

What God Said Tonight:
Yes sweet daughter.  There is always hope.  As long as you have me in your life, there is always hope. You do have a pattern built in your life of becoming self critical.  It's root is deep and it may take a lifetime to pull it out completely, but you are learning.  You are better than you use to be.  You are quicker to recognize the symptom and the cause.  You are making progress. 

You are waiting to be perfect or expecting to be perfect and you never will be.  Your perfection only comes from the covering you have in me.  In yourself, you will never be perfect.  You will never be perfect but you can always be better. 

You're right about changing your focus.  You have the right idea.  However, you may want to spend a little time doing some gardening first.  Tear out a bit of this weed of self criticism.  Recognize your worth in me.  Recognize that you are the daughter of the most high God.  No, your actions are never perfect but they are anointed by my Spirit.  I can cover you when you are less than perfect.  It is why I bled and died.  To be your covering.  That covering is not only protective but also meant to cover your imperfections.  It was meant to make you pure and able to serve me and my people. My covering allows you to be what you need to be to serve me and my people. 

Your continued striving to be better is good.  You will always have room to grow and you will always be growing.  In that growth, be happy with the progress, not critical that you aren't where you hope to be yet. 

You are about to go into a season where complete reliance on me is necessary.  It may be why you are being so critical right now.  Some part of your spirit recognizes that you don't have what it takes to accomplish what we will accomplish in this next season. But the thing is, that is ok.  I never meant you to accomplish it alone.  I always intended that we would do this together.  I just need you to show up and to trust.  You are getting pretty good at those two things. 

So, my daughter, rest in the knowledge that you are imperfect and doing things imperfectly but it doesn't really matter.  My anointing covers everything that needs to be covered.  Maintain the humility but stop the self criticism.  Trust me daughter.  We are in this together.  I love you so very much.  Rest in the total acceptance I have for you.  Rest  in the immovable knowledge that you are and will always be a royal priesthood and the daughter of the most high God.  You are my gem and I love you.

Slow down...

My prayer:
Awesome God, my Father. I am not sure what to pray about tonight.  I have so many things running through my brain. 

Thank you for today. It was a good day.  I am not sure that I was truly obedient to the sabbath as you have reminded me to be.  I did not technically "work" but I was running around all day.  God, this time of year gets so hectic.  I am running around, making sure that all the presents are bought, the parties are attended and that everyone knows that I love you and love them.  It is awesome and exhausting.  Add to it, all the amazing things that you are doing and changing in my life and it is a bit overwhelming. 

Please know that I am not complaining.  I love when life is exciting and full like this.  But we are about to get to celebrate your birthday again...how great is that!  God I love you so much.  I am so grateful for you in my life.  I am so honored that I get to celebrate with you everyday.  In the midst of the full life you have given me, I want to take special care to let you know how much I love you.  I want to take a moment and celebrate that you chose to be born here on earth just so you could live, die and live again for me.  I want to concentrate on the fact that you loved me so much, you went through all of it just so we could be here tonight together.  When I really slow down and let that soak in...I have no words to express the impact God. 

So tonight, no agenda, no list of needs and wants, no requests, I am just in complete awe of you, who you are and what you do. My awesome God, I do love you so.

What God Said Tonight:
Slow down, that is good advice.  Every now and then, slow down and enjoy what your life is becoming.  You have an opportunity to experience what few people ever have.  You have the opportunity to experience a completely full and satisfied life in me.  You have the opportunity to live with nothing missing and nothing lacking.  You have the opportunity, right now to live in the everlasting joy and peace that comes with your salvation. 

Don't get too distracted in the "doing" that you miss the opportunity.  Take time to remember what it is all about.  Take time to just be with me.  Slow down and take time to look around and enjoy what I have done and what I am doing. 

You need to enjoy life more.  You need to enjoy me, us more.  You are faithful, you are always willing to serve.  The Martha in you is strong.  Let Mary in now and then.  Like you started to do tonight, slow down and just enjoy it all.  I will give you the rest you need.  I will give you the strength you need.  I will protect you and I will provide for you.  I will do all of this so relax, slow down and don't let life pass you by.  I planned for a long time for this life of yours. 

You are my precious and wonderful daughter.  You will do much for my kingdom but remember to slow down and enjoy it along the way.

Priviledge...

My prayer:
Incredible God, my awesome Father, you are so AMAZING!  Thank you so much God for hearing my prayers and helping me today!  You had favor all over me today!  Thank you for your favor at my job today God.  I can't believe how quickly you moved in that situation to just make it all work out!

God I love how you take care of me.  I am so grateful for how you always work things out for my good.  I can't believe sometimes how blessed I am.  Being your daughter has some major privileges! 

I am back to that age old struggle of not knowing how to thank you enough.  I am so grateful and there really aren't words enough to thank you. Hear my heart God and know how grateful I am.  Hear my heart and know how much I love you.  God you are my everything and I don't want to do anything, ever, that does not have you at the center of it.  You are my core, the deepest part of me.  I praise you.  I worship you.  I stand in awe of you God.

What God Said Tonight:
You need help and of course I am going to be there.  I am your ever present help in time of trouble.  I am the shoulder for you to lean on.  I am the one who makes a way out of no way.  I am the one who provides for you out of my riches in glory.  I AM. 

I appreciate your gratefulness but I don't need it.  I bless you because it is my pleasure to do so.  I bless you because I love you and I want the best for you. I bless you because you are my daughter. 

You are right, being mine has great privilege.  You are beginning to walk in that privilege but there is so much more.  Remember how my son and his disciples were never in want for anything.  If they needed food, they had food. If they needed money, I could call up a fish and there would be money in his mouth.  They never had to worry about their next meal or a roof over their head.  I took care of them. Just as I take care of you. 

You can rest in the assurance that I will always take care of you. I will always rebuke the devourer for your sake.  I will always provide for you out of my riches in heaven.  I will always make sure you have everything you need because that is what a loving father does.  I love you more than you can ever know.  You are mine and I am yours.  We are walking through this life together and as such you NEVER have to WORRY about provision. You never have to worry about the next meal, the place to live or anything else.  I will take care of it. 

Now, concentrate on the things I have given to you.  Now that you know that your provision is completely assured, do what I have called you to do.  Use your gifts for my kingdom.  Bless everyone.  Everyone, not just the ones you like.  BLESS EVERYONE. 

I love you daughter.  You are my precious child.  Your privilege is only a reflection of my reputation.  I have made a way for you sweetheart.  You just sit back and let me worry about the basics.  I love you and will never let you down.

Remember the blessings...

My prayer:
Awesome Father, my God!  I love you God.  I am completely spent with nothing left.  Tonight is all you.  What is on your mind?  I am yours!

What God Said Tonight:
Really? Nothing on your mind tonight daughter?  You know you can ask me for help when you get this tired.  When life gets to be a bit too much, you can ask me for help and I will help you.  You can ask me for strength and I will strengthen you.  You can ask me for anything and it is yours. 

I love you so much daughter.  Your heart is my heart.  Your desires have been put in place by me.  Therefore, anything that you want, is in my will and I am pleased to provide it.  Don't forget to ask.  I already know what you need but in the asking you show your dependence and love for me. 

You are mine and I love you more than you can know.  I try to tell you a lot because I think you often forget.  Your forget how amazing I made you to be.  You forget how much I love you.  You forget how much I want to help you.  Even with us talking everyday, even with the miracles you have seen, even with the prayers you have seen answered, you forget. 

It is common among my children.  Your memories for my blessing in your life are not nearly as strong as your memory of the pain.  You can call up every painful memory throughout your life and dwell on it.  I want you to start doing that with the blessings I have poured out on you.  Focus on the blessings.  Dwell on the blessings.  Remember the blessings.  Remember me.  Remember my love. Cultivate a memory of blessings.  Stop nourishing the memory of pain and start nourishing the memory of blessing. 

I love you sweet daughter.  Rest and prepare for tomorrow.  Lean on me and remember.

Miracle parade...

My prayer: Awesome God and Mighty Lord.  God you are so completely amazing. I love you so much. I need you so much.  I need you in every moment of my life.  I need you to get up in the morning and just to even put one foot in front of the other. 

I can't really remember life before you were in it.  I remember it being dark, lonely and without hope, but it is all getting a bit vague anymore.  Every day with you is an adventure.  Every day has hope.  Every day is filled with opportunity.  This is an awesome way to live God. 

Not that I don't have my struggles.  You above all know that I do. But I am never alone in the struggle now.  I get to bring it all to you.  I get to bring you my insecurities, my shame, my joy, my everything.  I get to live each moment with you in it.  I love that so much God.  When I feel alone, I can close my eyes and feel you around and in me.  When I feel afraid, I can hear your voice reminding me that you have not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind and I have courage.  When I feel angry and hurt, I can remember what you say about me, how you love me and I am comforted. 

God, life with you is so much better than life without you.  There isn't a scale big enough to measure the difference.  I love you so much!!!

What is on your mind and heart tonight God?  I'm here and ready to hear.

What God Said Tonight;
It isn't important and it isn't the time to wallow in the past.  It is time to look forward.  The past is a great teacher and you have learned so very well.  Take that knowledge into the future and do everything that I have called you to do.  The time for reflection is done.  The time for action is here. 

You are ready to do this next step.  Do you know what it is yet?  I have been telling you but I am not sure that you have heard.  It is big but also the natural progression. 

Don't get too caught up in the day to day that you miss the miraculous.  I have a season of miracles on the way.  Remember to look for them.  Remember to tell people to look for them.  Remember to expect them in every situation.  I am about to do miracles in ways and in places that you have never seen.  Some you have heard about but mostly, these are new miracles for a new season.  It is the season of the miraculous.  Keep an eye out and your ear to the ground.  Stay sensitive to me and I will show you great and wondrous things. 

I love you daughter.  I think you are just about the best there is.  I love that we get to live this life together.  I don't remember life without you either.  I can't because I have always been with you, even before you knew I was there.  I have been with you since the beginning of time and I will be with you forever.  Sometimes I want to wrap you up and keep you in my heart.  But that would be a disservice to your brothers and sisters.  I need you to be my hands and feet.  But, I reserve the right to wrap you up now and then and just love on you.  I reserve the right to a good old fashioned cuddle now and again.  I love you sweetheart.  Get ready for the miracle parade!!

Shame...

My prayer:
Hi Daddy!  I am so TIRED tonight God.  Thank you for bringing me through this day, getting me home, favor on the flights, helping me get the work done that needed to get done and even letting me be a part of Reverb online church tonight.  Today was full!  You are awesome God. 

I feel like I need to talk to you about something though God.  And I don't want to complain but I just don't understand where this was coming from today and how to get rid of it.  All day long, I was remembering embarrassing moments in my life.  Some recent, some from years ago.  They would come out of no where and I would feel immediate shame.  Now, I know that shame is not from you and anything that is not of you is against you.  So, logically these were attacks from the enemy. 

God, have I done anything to let the attacks in?  What do I do to stop them?  I kept trying to shake it off today and just as soon as I stopped thinking about one incident, I would remember another one.  Unfortunately, there are quite a few to remember.  God I ask for your help.

I love you God.  Thank you for being my Dad!

What God Said Tonight:
You heard me as you were typing.  You know how to fight this kind of thing but you did not think of it and did not do it today.  You need to speak my word against those attacks.  When the devil reminds you of shame, you tell him there is no condemnation in Christ.  When the devil tells you that you are nothing, you tell him that you are a royal priesthood.  When the devil tells you that you are worthless, you tell him that I say that you are worth more than rubies and gold. 

His lies cannot stand against the truth.  The shame that he brings cannot stay in the face of my love.  You are what I say you are.  You are perfectly and wonderfully made.  You are my daughter and I will not have you believing that you are less than apple of my eye. 

I love you sweet daughter.  I love you so much.  I get angry when I see him come after you but I need you to fight back with the tools I have given you.  You have reached a level of maturity that you know how to deal with this kind of thing.  If you were still a baby, I would fight it out for you and make him back off.  But you have been trained and prepared and you have got this.

Just remember what I have taught you.  Remember what I say about you.  Do not allow yourself to get caught up in the shame and doubt.  Do not accept those things from him. Don't accept anything from him.  Remember in the prison ministry, the one big rule in all of the facilities was to never give anything or receive anything from the inmates.  That is true of the devil, never GIVE him ANYTHING and never RECEIVE ANYTHING from him.  It is dangerous, so very dangerous when you do. 

I love you sweetheart.  Rest now.  It was a long day but I am glad we got to talk.

What God wants for Christmas...

My prayer:
Awesome God, today was pretty great.  I love how you put favor on me.  I love how you destine me to succeed.  God I am so very grateful for how you take care of me.  I love you so much God.  You really do guide me and direct me through every situation no matter how familiar or unfamiliar. 

Sweet father, I love you.  What more can I or should I be doing for you God?  What do you want for Christmas, your birthday, this year?  What can I do to make you smile tonight God?  You do so much for me every day.  What can I do for you? 

My God, my lord, my saviour, receive my love tonight God.  Let my worship be that sweet fragrance to you.  Cover me in your blood so I am acceptable and forgiven.  Let me love you tonight God. 

What God Said Tonight:
You my sweet daughter are always welcome to love me.  I will always receive your love, your worship.  You are continually covered in my blood, your sins are forgiven, you are always acceptable in my sight.  My love for you is so intense.  It overshadows everything around it. 

You did well today.  You followed my lead, you shared my message, you made new relationships and I am well pleased with all that you did.  I know that you want to make me smile, make me happy. Know that just you being you and loving me makes me more happy than anything you do.  Know that the greatest present you can give me is your heart, your mind and your time.  Keep spending time with me.

Spend more time with me.  Concentrate your day to day life on me.  Let me into every area of you life. Involve me in every area of you life.  Everything you do interests me because you interest me.  You are my creation, but I am fascinated by what you are growing into.  I love watching you grow and move into new areas and new seasons.  Remember when you use to be so afraid of the unknown or new situations?  Remember how you get paralyzed when you were confronted with something you didn't know how to do and thought you might fail?  That use to limit you so much but now, you relish those opportunities!  That is a great and fascinating change in you. 

I love seeing you step out in your faith in me and try whatever I put in our path. It allows me to use you in so many more ways in the kingdom.  I love that I can throw anything at you and you will give it a shot.  You have gained great courage in me.  And, the process of the growth and that gain is fascinating to me.  The choices you make and how you make them, I love getting to see that and see how it changes over time.  You simply fascinate me.  I love to see you in your day to day life and I love it even more when you invite me to be a part of it.  That is when I get see up close and personal all the fascinating things about you. 

It also frees me to bless you so abundantly.  As you allow me into every aspect of you life, I get to bless every area of your life.  When you keep me out of some area.  When you don't let me into your friendships, your work, your play, then I can't bless it.  You lock me out.  But when you let me in, start talking about me everywhere and just stay in touch with me throughout the day, it really lets me be able to bless you abundantly.  Make me a constant and complete part of your life and we can do anything. 

All I want for my birthday is all of you.  I love you daughter.