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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Self doubt...

My prayer:
Awesome God. All day I have been filled with doubts. I don't want to whine about it but I think I need to bring it to you. I am doubting myself and my capabilities. I am doubting whether I can do what I believe you have asked me to do. I am doubting the anointing on my life. I am doubting it all. 

I know this will pass. I have been here enough times to know that these phases don't last. But, tonight, in the middle of it, I just feel rotten. I know that none of it is me anyway. It is all you working through me. But, what if you stop working through me? What if I mess up and you can't work through me anymore? This life is worth nothing to me if I can't serve you and accomplish what you have for me. And, that is where I am tonight. Feeling like I don't have the right stuff to do what you want me to do and since I don't, life doesn't feel worth the trouble. 

I am sorry for the drama. I know I have no right to complain. You have done so much for me God. I am truly grateful for all that you have done and do in my life. I am grateful for who you are. I am sorry I have let the doubts get the better of me today. I know that you have already said I am the head and not he tail, that you will make me succeed, that I am a priest and a king. I know that you have said that I can do all things through you. God, I am trying to encourage myself and look at how you see me. I am not doing a very good job of believing it tonight. Help please.

What God Said Tonight:
It is transition time again. You always get unsure of yourself in transitions. It is normal but it is not necessary. Stop worrying about what you can and cannot do. Start remembering what I can do. 

In this next season after the transition, you will have to lean on me even more. I will be asking you to do many things that are beyond your ability to do them. You will need to turn to me for every one of them. I have gifted you with many talents and you have used them all for my Kingdom. I cannot tell you how much that has meant to me. Now, it is time for the next level. Now it is time for you to trust me to do what I have promised. Now it is time for you to rely on me for every step and every accomplishment. 

I have some very specific ideas about how we are to move forward and I will guide and direct you through it all. Your job right now is to let go of the notion that you have to do it all. You only have to show up and I will take care of every other step as it is needed. As I have so many times in your past, when you need a new skill, I will give it to you. When you need people to help, I will bring them around you. When you need strength I will give you mine. 

Trust in me, not in yourself. You will let you down. Not because you want to but because you are limited. I am not. I love you daughter. Watch during the next couple of weeks and note all of the changes. Know that I have equipped you for it all. Peace I give to you tonight.

1 comment:

  1. John 9:3
    Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world's Light."