Awesome God. I have done just about everything I can think of to put off our conversation tonight. Not because I don't want to talk with you. I simply have no idea what to say. Today was an insane mix of emotions, thoughts, events and I don't know what to say about any of it.
I am devastated that my friend has had such a loss. I am comforted by the community and love surrounding him. I am reminded of the sanctity and beauty of life. I am SO GRATEFUL that you have provided a way for me to be saved and live forever with you.
With so many conflicting thoughts and emotions, I am left feeling oddly numb but as if the smallest thing could set me off. Numb but fragile. I guess that is the best way to say it.
So, there it is. That is where I am at. I don't much like it here but I don't even know what to pray for. I feel like this is important, an important experience, so I don't want to pray for you to take it from me. But, I also don't want to stay here very long because it is really uncomfortable.
God, I pray your will be done, knowing you only want the best for me.
What God Said Tonight:
I am your calm in the storm and your comfort in times of pain. I am your healer and I am your protector.
You are right to believe that this time is important. I appreciate your courage to face the difficult time knowing it will work for your good in the end. You did not always have that level of faith.
I have one promise for you. You are never alone. I will never leave you, no matter what. Let's get through this together.