Awesome God. I am trying to grab on fully the revelation you started in me tonight. The one main thing that I am lacking in my life is directly related to the main thing I fear in my life. Until I get over the fear, I can never have the thing that is lacking. Not out of punishment, but because it is simply not possible. Unless I am willing to be vulnerable enough to be hurt, I can never let anyone close enough to have what I want.
So, that makes a lot of sense. Be willing to be open to being hurt, that just sounds like crazy talk. I don't know how to do that and I am not even sure I want to. Being hurt can be truly horrible. It can be the worst experience ever. And sure, we all get hurt time to time but why would I open myself up and invite hurt in? WAY TOO SCARY!
If that is what you want or if that is what I need to get to the next level with you, I will need your help, BIG TIME. I am going to need you to carry me through this one.
What God Said Tonight:
I did not ask for this, you did. You have prayed to fill a hole. That hole cannot be filled without risk. That hole cannot be filled without trust.
I am here and will never leave you. I will protect you. I will take care of you.
Do you really trust me enough to keep you safe, even in the area that most frightens you? Do you trust me enough to believe that I will be your guard and protector. If you do, letting down your guard, being vulnerable, being left open to the potential hurt is no worry. You can do all that with me as your protector.
I know where you insecurities come from. I know it is hard to get past the problems of the past. But you have to think of today and who we are to each other and all of the things you have trusted me with that I have come through for you on. You can truly trust me in ALL things.
Be at peace tonight. We will walk this and every path together.