My Father. I am doing the best that I can to live this life the best that I can and the most in line with your will for my life. Sometimes I feel like I am getting it right and sometimes I feel like I could not be messing it up more.
I have experienced those two extremes in the last 24 hours and it has left me feeling a mess tonight.
I am really trying to get this grace thing that Pastor M keeps teaching about. I know he is right, I know that you don't base your love or your thoughts about me on the things that I do. I know it in my head. But every time I mess up and get it wrong, I feel like I am letting you down. I feel like I am being less than what you intended me to be.
You gave everything to save me. It seems like the least I can do is try to love like you do and trust you no matter what. And yet, I couldn't have failed more in those two areas tonight. You must be disappointed in me, right?
What God Said Tonight:
I don't see your sin. It is covered in my blood and does not exist for me. I see you in your perfected form. I don't see your flaws and I don't see your scars. I see you perfect and whole. I see you healed form every single hurt that you have experienced. I see the you that I created you to be.
I understand, at the same time, that you are not fully living in that covering and in that grace. You could, it is where I want you to live.
I gave the law to help you know the best way to live. I gave you grace to catch you every time you chose a different path.
Consider your life like a glass. The glass gets filled up with the things that you do that are within the law and provide benefit in your life and the rest is filled with grace. Sometimes the ratio is 10% grace and 90% living within the law and sometimes it is 90% grace and 10% living within the law. But the two look no different to me. It is all pure and clear living water to me. All I see is a full glass.
Does that mean that you should not worry about learning to live your life within the law. No, the law is good and you will find joy and satisfaction in it when you can. But what I am saying is that no matter the ratio in your glass, I see you as perfect, full, clean and pure.
I am never disappointed in you because you are always perfect to me. I love you, every part of you. I love when you get it right and I love you when you get it wrong. Settle that for yourself tonight. How I feel about you, how I see you does not change.
I am not disappointed. I am in love with you.