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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Not good enough...

My prayer:

Hi God! I have been putting this off tonight because I am not sure what to talk about. I have been on a bit of a roller coaster today. 

There were great new opportunities, like partnering with the Mission, which was awesome. When I stay focused on that, I am excited and grateful. Then, all of a sudden, I start doubting myself. I start thinking, who am I to think I can do any of this. I start thinking, I am not talented enough or good enough to do the things that you are putting in front of me. Then, I start telling myself to shut up, because it isn't me doing it anyway, it is you God. Then I feel bad because I yelled at myself which is a pretty stupid thing to do. So, I make myself think about all the amazing opportunities again and I get excited...and the cycle begins again. 

It is times like this that I feel like a bit of a basket case God. Do other people do this to themselves. Can you teach me how to stop it?

What God Said Tonight:

You ask if other people do this to themselves. Check out my written Word and you will see many examples of people doing exactly that. It isn't fun but there is purpose in it. 

Each time you go through this cycle, you learn how to lean on me more. The fact is you are completely right, you do not have what it takes to do what I have called you to do. If you did, you would not need me and would do it on your own. That would mean that you would get the glory and not me. That would mean that people would want to follow you and not me. That would put you in a very dangerous position filled with pride and ego and would result in your destruction. 

I will not let you be destroyed. that is why I will always call you to do more than you are capable of on your own. I will always call you to do things that you need me in order to complete them. That way, you get to be a part of amazing things but I get the glory. That way, you get to have great purpose and achievement in your life but it won't destroy you. That way, you get to help A LOT of people but you get to be you. 

When you begin to realize that I have called you to do more than you are capable of, celebrate and know that you have truly found my purpose and plan for you. Get excited to know that I will show up and I won't let you fall. Get excited and know that this is my perfect plan. I love you daughter. Trust me.

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