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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Reconnect...

My prayer:
My awesome God.  I did not do anything that I planned on doing today.  I did not accomplish much of anything really.  I am feeling pretty useless tonight God.  I even, for the first time, considered not meeting you like this tonight God.  It was only a brief thought but I am tired and feeling pretty worthless and it crossed my mind. 

Wow, looks like I am having a big pity party for me tonight God.  I don't even want to listen to me tonight so I won't make you listen to me.  I think I should shut up and listen to what you have to say.  I love you so much God.  I am sorry that I wasn't more use to you today.

What God Said Tonight:
My daughter, remember that I don't calculate your worth based on what use you are to me.  I don't consider your worth based on what you accomplish.  My love for you does not change based on what you do or don't do.  My love for you is solid and cannot be moved.  My love for you is guaranteed.  As such, I always want to hear from you and whatever is happening, I want to share it with you. 

You know why you are feeling the way that you are.  It is the same reason as always.  When you draw within yourself and stop reaching out, like you did today, you feel worthless.  It is ok to rest but it is not ok to isolate.  When you isolate, you hurt yourself.  You were created to be in relationship with others and connected with others.  You know this.  We have talked about it many times.  But I also know it can be hard to see it when you are in the middle of it. 

Rest tonight and reach out tomorrow.  Reconnect.  Stop isolating and this mood, this feeling will lift. 

Your enemy wants you isolated.  You are more vulnerable when you are isolated.  You are more apt to fall for his lies.  You are more apt to think the worst of yourself.  Just don't do it.  Reconnect. 

I love you more than can know.  You are my precious daughter that I died for.  I would do it again today.  You are so very important to me.  I am your covering and will keep you safe.  I will heal you.  I will guide you always.  You are the target of my love.

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