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Friday, November 26, 2010

Insecurity...again...

My prayer:
Awesome Father, God all mighty.  Maker of the universe and lover of my soul.  God Thank you for today.  Thank you for rest God. You are my amazing God.  God I am not sure what to say tonight.  Life is generally good.  Exciting things on the horizon and nothing too tragic. 

I have all my usual insecurities.  They are kind of bad right now.  I think it is because I don't think I am good enough or what ever it is I need to be to give the message at church on Sunday.  I know that you have given me the message.  I know that it is about you and not about me.  And yet, (like how I didn't say "but" God?) what if I mess it up?  What if I can't deliver it the way you want it?  What if I get nervous and freeze?  What if, what if, what if??? 

When I use to give the message in the prisons, it was always small groups that couldn't leave no matter how good or bad it was.  This Sunday, it is my home church who I will see every week after this.  They are accustomed to great messages and great deliveries.  God, I don't want to disappoint you, Pastor Joe of the congregation.

I pray God in advance that you speak through me.  I pray God that I get out of the way so you can accomplish what you want to accomplish.  I ask God for the peace to know that you have this and I can stop worrying.  Thank you God for the opportunity.  Thank you God for all that you are doing.  Thank you God for being you and living in me.

What God Said Tonight:
What do you want to hear daughter?  You already know the answers.  This Sunday is not about you.  This Sunday is something that I have planned and prepared for.  You will be faithful and follow my lead as you do in every other kind of service. 

I love you and I will help you.  This is something I want to do. Remember daughter that I can use anyone.  I can use anyone who is willing.  I don't need you to be good enough or talented enough or charismatic enough.  I just need you to be willing and obedient.  You have shown yourself faithful.  You have shown yourself willing. 

You will see me in every act and every word.  You will see me shining and you will have peace knowing it is me.  I will give you the peace you want but really you already have it if you think about it.  Just remember to listen to all that I have told you and taught you about yourself, about me, about the Kingdom and you will have peace understanding that it is all in my hands. 

I love you and I will prosper you.  You are going to be amazed at the things you will see and do in the coming years.  You have wanted it for so long.  It won't always be easy.  Part of the waiting has been to be sure that you really want it.  There will be times when you wonder if the dream is worth it  You will question whether you really can or want to put up with the battles.  In those times, you can look back on the years of waiting.  That will remind you how much you want it and will help you get through the struggles. 

You are destined for great things.  All of my children are destined for such great things.  You are my kids and I am the creator of the universe.  How can you be made for anything but greatness? 

Find peace and rest in the assurance that this is me guiding you, directing you, talking to you and talking through you.  You are positioned perfectly and you have great things in your future.  Your future is golden and so are you. Shine.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! I'm excited! I can't wait to hear the message God is bringing to us through you! As for the insecurities, just know God believes in you and so do a whole bunch of us mere mortals

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