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The History: A couple of years ago, I started journaling my prayers and God's responses to them. I told my friends about this, they were really interested. I told my Pastor about it and he said, how about sharing those on line. When I asked God, He said, my words are for you, but not just for you. And, here we are...I hope He speaks to you in these words.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010

The blessing and the cursing...

My Prayer:
Awesome ruler, Mighty God. Thank you for this day. I felt pretty lazy today God. I didn't accomplish what I had planned to but enjoyed being able to relax and spend time with family.

I was just reading in Joshua tonight where you, he and the army of Israel come into the promised land and conquer and kill everyone they run into. Sometimes I fell like that, like I just can't lose. Sometimes I feel like you are so on my side that everything I touch just works. But, other times, it feels like everything I touch falls apart. Everything I try to do just fails.

Usually, I can't tell the difference, what I am doing differently during these two times. I could understand if I was living right and getting blessed or if I was sinning and I was getting cursed. That makes sense. But sometimes, when I know that I am doing things outside of your will, when I know I am sinning, I am still getting blessed. And sometimes, when I am doing everything I know to do to follow your will, it seems like I am cursed and nothing is going right. Not all of the time, but sometimes.

I see similar things in the lives around me and I don't know what to say or how to help. Sometimes, people are really doing all they know to do and their life just seems to be falling apart. I know you have said to just love them, and I do, I am. But, is there anything else. Anything that makes sense out of it all. I like it when things make sense.

I pray God that your magnificent presence be experienced in your church services throughout the world tomorrow. I pray your will be accomplished in each and every service. I pray God for our service at Zyxter. I pray that you show us even more aspects of you. I pray that you show us something new and amazing leaving us in awe. I thank you for surprise annointings and blessings. In Jesus name.

What God said tonight:
Hi my daughter. Your thoughts are somewhat muddled tonight but I think I hear your true question. No, life doesn't always make sense to your rational human brain. If it all made sense, you wouldn't have needed me. If it could all be done by following rules, you would never have needed my son. The law would have been enough.

But sometimes, you need undeserved grace. Sometimes you need blessings when you are messing up the worst to remind you that I am here and I love you. Sometimes you need to miss out on blessings even though you are getting things right to make sure you trust me and not your own obedience. Sometimes I have to hold back those blessings so you remember who the blessings are from. Sometimes I have to hold back the blessings so you strive for even greater levels of intimacy.

So you see, it does all make a certain kind of sense, not a legalistic, law abiding kind of sense, but a love abiding kind of truth. You are tired and should rest for tomorrow but thank you for meeting with me anyway. Your service will be blessed. I am doing a new thing tomorrow that will blow you mind. I love you I love you I love you!

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